Inconsolable crying when tired / waking up for hours at night

[kayla317]

I agree. Stuffed animals have been shown to soothe children and take away stress. Skep has helped me last night, through my troubles of sleep. Skep is medium-sized soft and short hair dog [i like dogs a lot] that doesn't heat up. Some soft toys can be irritating to my skin but skep's fur is not.

View attachment 110749

She used to play with plush animals but now she won't even touch them. I wonder if they irritated her skin too.

 

[Crossbreed]

Has she slept through the night before?
If so, has something in her life changed with the onset of this inconsola[tion?]??

 

[kayla317]

She would sleep through the night on occasion. But about 2 and a half months ago she got sick and started crying all the time. We went to multiple hospitals, ENT, pediatrician, and urgent cares trying to figure out what was happening. After two months her ear infection was finally gone, but during this time her night waking now came with crying and trying to leave the bedroom. And it is still happening.

No life changes otherwise

 

[Crossbreed]

...and trying to leave the bedroom.

Any idea where she was heading?

 

[kayla317]

Any idea where she was heading?

I'm guessing anywhere but in the bedroom. Maybe to the living room or to the car. Car rides are the only thing that can calm her down and that doesn't work everytime.

 

[Crossbreed]

Maybe, you could try a hammock?
Its swaying might have a calming effect.

(What you are describing does not affect every autistic person.

It is just trial-&-error to see what might work for her.)​

 

[Forest Cat]

It is very possible. She wakes about the same time every night too, after 4 hours of sleep.

This is very interesting, I found this info:

"Night terrors occurs during non-REM (NREM) sleep. They usually occur during the first 3 to 4 hours of the night."

So the time seems to indicate night terrors.

 

[Forest Cat]

I mentioned yesterday that I had night terrors when I was a kid. If that is what she is experiencing, she will wake up and be very scared. And not understand what is going on, it's just a very deep feeling of fear and dread and panic. For me it was like I woke up but was still dreaming, so what I was dreaming was right there in the room with me. For a kid it's truly terrifying.

I don't know if it's possible for you to do, but one thing that helped me was to go to another room and go to bed there. That helped a little because I connected the fear with the room I was in. The scary things were in that room. So staying in that room and going back to bed there was very unpleasant. I just really wanted to get away from it. You mentioned that car rides calmed her down, that makes sense if it's night terrors, leaving the room and building would be calming. Getting away from the scary things.

The good news is that it's something people grow out of, it's going on for a while and then it usually stops.

 

[kayla317]

Maybe, you could try a hammock?
Its swaying might have a calming effect.

(What you are describing does not affect every autistic person.

It is just trial-&-error to see what might work for her.)​

That is a good idea. I will look into trying that.

 

[kayla317]

I mentioned yesterday that I had night terrors when I was a kid. If that is what she is experiencing, she will wake up and be very scared. And not understand what is going on, it's just a very deep feeling of fear and dread and panic. For me it was like I woke up but was still dreaming, so what I was dreaming was right there in the room with me. For a kid it's truly terrifying.

I don't know if it's possible for you to do, but one thing that helped me was to go to another room and go to bed there. That helped a little because I connected the fear with the room I was in. The scary things were in that room. So staying in that room and going back to bed there was very unpleasant. I just really wanted to get away from it. You mentioned that car rides calmed her down, that makes sense if it's night terrors, leaving the room and building would be calming. Getting away from the scary things.

The good news is that it's something people grow out of, it's going on for a while and then it usually stops.

Yes. Thank you! I think we will try switching bedrooms for a little bit and see if it helps.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

My child has autism and is nonverbal. We have been dealing with inconsolable crying throughout the day and night with no desirable cause. We have been to doctors, specialists, ABA, and everywhere we can think if for help. The main issue we are facing is her waking up crying and staying up for about 4 hours every night. We are lost and it has been going on for months. The one thing we have noticed is that when she gets tired she starts crying. She always wakes up crying. She is 4 years old. Anybody else go through anything like this?

I am sorry she is so upset.
Maybe give her hugs tell her it will be ok and let her hug with her plushies.
There is a lot of bad in the,world with covid and maybe,you need to comfort her and just reassure her.
I hope,she is ok. I love her.

 

[1ForAll]

Her body may have just got used to the four hour sleep by time her ear infection ended. Her circadian rhythm may be off. She cries perhaps because she is still tired but cannot get her body back to sleep because of that changed sleep/awake cycle.

I am not sure if a temporary mild sleep supplement (allowed for a child that age) to get the body used to longer sleep could remedy that or not. Ask a doctor there. Our now eleven year old mostly nonverbal Autistic had severe sleep issues starting at the year mark, and kept wanting to get up in bed at around the four hour mark.

For him though it was likely ADHD related as he was diagnosed with that too soon after his early Autism diagnosis. We had no choice but to use clonidine for him prior to bedtime (a blood pressure med off use for ADHD), which he was allowed to take starting at age six. That helps him fall asleep and to sleep 8+ hours regularly a night.

This child of our loves motion in the car too when he gets distressed , and he still needs it often to calm him down.

 

[tree]

@kayla317

Does she have food allergies/sensitivities?

Some foods or smells make me cry, hours
after ingesting or inhaling.

 

[kayla317]

Her body may have just got used to the four hour sleep by time her ear infection ended. Her circadian rhythm may be off. She cries perhaps because she is still tired but cannot get her body back to sleep because of that changed sleep/awake cycle.

I am not sure if a temporary mild sleep supplement (allowed for a child that age) to get the body used to longer sleep could remedy that or not. Ask a doctor there. Our now eleven year old mostly nonverbal Autistic had severe sleep issues starting at the year mark, and kept wanting to get up in bed at around the four hour mark.

For him though it was likely ADHD related as he was diagnosed with that too soon after his early Autism diagnosis. We had no choice but to use clonidine for him prior to bedtime (a blood pressure med off use for ADHD), which he was allowed to take starting at age six. That helps him fall asleep and to sleep 8+ hours regularly a night.

This child of our loves motion in the car too when he gets distressed , and he still needs it often to calm him down.

Thank you! She gets up at the four hour mark too! We have been on melatonin for over a year. We tried clonidine but it made the sleep issues worse unfortunately.

 

[kayla317]

@kayla317

Does she have food allergies/sensitivities?

Some foods or smells make me cry, hours
after ingesting or inhaling.

She is allergic to mangos and is extremely picky.

 

[Rodafina]

Hi @kayla317

I’m wondering if there is some level of trauma that she is dealing with based on two months of ear infections. That is such a painful thing, and it sounds like unfortunately, it took a while to figure out and treat the issue. If I’m understanding correctly and she was in pain for two months without a good way to express that, that could be something that she is still processing now.

When I am unable to process things properly during the day, it surely comes out in my dreams (nightmares). This seems to be my body‘s way of dealing with things I could not adequately express.

My other question is a difficult one, but I know you want to consider all the options. Is your child in your care most of the day? Does she spend any time with other caregivers where something negative could be happening to her? Were there any major changes in her life recently that involved the loss of a loved one or perhaps a new person in your lives?

 

[kayla317]

It took 5 rounds of antibodics to solve the ear infection. We went to multiple hospitals. She is with me 24/7. She was going to school in the summer but I had to take her out due to the ear infections. there is no one new and no life changes besides starting ABA.

 

[Rodafina]

She is with me 24/7

You have a tough job, and no child always gives their parents an easy time. I can only imagine it is very exhausting for you to care and worry and love so much. Wishing you strength and answers.

 

[1ForAll]

Thank you! She gets up at the four hour mark too! We have been on melatonin for over a year. We tried clonidine but it made the sleep issues worse unfortunately.

What makes it hard to figure out for nonverbal persons is they cannot tell us what they are thinking and feeling. So, trial by error sometimes is needed as some things will work for some children, but not others.

We initially tried melatonin on this son when he was around age five and that worked only like a few days to a week or so, then he was back to his usual restless night ways. Luckily the clonidine worked for him, as stats says it will not work for all. I am hoping your daughter's situation gets better soon. Those nights and years were very difficult for us too.

We cannot use clonidine on him during the day though as he is cranky for some reason then. Probably because it makes him drowsy at a time he does not want that or was not expecting that. He loves being active all day long.

 

[Bolletje]

I am so sorry for your child, and for you, that this is happening right now. It must be such a distressing situation for all of you. Unfortunately, I don’t have any advice. My best friend has a non-verbal child of the same age and her child had similar “spells” for a time. Waking up from sleep, crying almost hysterically and completely inconsolable for extended periods of time. During this, he would not seem to be fully awake, which is why the hypothesis at the time was that these were night terrors, though no official diagnosis was ever made. The frequency of these events has decreased over time, though I’m not fully sure it ever stopped.