Hi! I am new to the forum and I’m just looking for supportI am a NT female that has been w a ND partner for 12 years. In May 2023 we had a couples counseling session and decided that we were going to start trying to have a baby in October 2023. Initially, he was hesitant because he was saying that he is not sure if it’s some thing that I wanted. Because about seven years ago, I wasn’t too keen on having kids. Fast forward to May 2023. He believes that you still don’t want to have kids. But eventually we’re talking with a therapist that councils people in neurodiverse relationships, we both agreed that we will start trying in October. He is always said ever since 10 years ago that he wanted to kids.
Anyway, we started trying in October and I got pregnant very quickly. One week ago, I told him that I am pregnant. And he responded with silence. I gave him 10 minutes to process and came back to him and asked him how he felt about it and he still responded with silence. I went to bed, not knowing his feelings on the situation. The next day he would talk to me about superficial topics, but when I brought up the pregnancy thing again, he again was silent. Two days later, he just stopped talking to me completely. I reached out to him on the fourth day ( after talking to the therapist,) and told him that we need to talk, and that we will have to have a discussion in five days.
So basically, I’m giving him about nine days just to process his feelings. I’m not calling him and I’m not texting him. I guess I’m just kind of confused because he has always talked about how he wanted kids. Yet now it seems like maybe he theoretically wanted kids, but now that it’s actually happening, he is panicking. I don’t think he’s the kind of person to completely abandon the relationship when there’s a kid. But I’m just a bit confused because we discussed this yet he’s acting like this is a huge surprise when it takes two to tango. I don’t get why he just didn’t say he didn’t want kids if it’s clearly something that causes him a ton of anxiety.
Anyway, any advice you guys have would be great
Anyway, we started trying in October and I got pregnant very quickly. One week ago, I told him that I am pregnant. And he responded with silence. I gave him 10 minutes to process and came back to him and asked him how he felt about it and he still responded with silence. I went to bed, not knowing his feelings on the situation. The next day he would talk to me about superficial topics, but when I brought up the pregnancy thing again, he again was silent. Two days later, he just stopped talking to me completely. I reached out to him on the fourth day ( after talking to the therapist,) and told him that we need to talk, and that we will have to have a discussion in five days.
So basically, I’m giving him about nine days just to process his feelings. I’m not calling him and I’m not texting him. I guess I’m just kind of confused because he has always talked about how he wanted kids. Yet now it seems like maybe he theoretically wanted kids, but now that it’s actually happening, he is panicking. I don’t think he’s the kind of person to completely abandon the relationship when there’s a kid. But I’m just a bit confused because we discussed this yet he’s acting like this is a huge surprise when it takes two to tango. I don’t get why he just didn’t say he didn’t want kids if it’s clearly something that causes him a ton of anxiety.
Anyway, any advice you guys have would be great