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Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pets?
- Thread starter Ruby
- Start date
music.forlife7
Well-Known Member
Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe
First off, hi
. To answer your question, Aspies usually (I'm learning not to be like this though) could care less about other people and prefer to be left alone. We have trouble understanding the feelings of others, since a segment in our brain prevents us from acknowledging those feelings. I love my family, friends, and my pet (he's a Yorkshire terrier). In your case, it could be both autism and depression. I'd suggest talking to a person you trust about it. I hope everything gets worked out for you!
First off, hi
. To answer your question, Aspies usually (I'm learning not to be like this though) could care less about other people and prefer to be left alone. We have trouble understanding the feelings of others, since a segment in our brain prevents us from acknowledging those feelings. I love my family, friends, and my pet (he's a Yorkshire terrier). In your case, it could be both autism and depression. I'd suggest talking to a person you trust about it. I hope everything gets worked out for you!
music.forlife7
Well-Known Member
Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe
I'm not sure, maybe because they love me... If that makes sense. Their are times when we don't like each other, but even then we still love each other through it.
I'm not sure, maybe because they love me... If that makes sense. Their are times when we don't like each other, but even then we still love each other through it.
Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe
Do you think that some people with autism can't feel love? Or do you think they do, but they just can't recognise or understand? I probably have trouble with that, since I don't always know how much I have to like someone to feel love or how I know ect.
Do you think that some people with autism can't feel love? Or do you think they do, but they just can't recognise or understand? I probably have trouble with that, since I don't always know how much I have to like someone to feel love or how I know ect.
Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe
Not only can't I love family and friends, I don't understand how others can do it, if only because I've met very few remotely likeable people in my lifetime.
Pets, however, I can get behind, especially cats. :happy:
Not only can't I love family and friends, I don't understand how others can do it, if only because I've met very few remotely likeable people in my lifetime.
Pets, however, I can get behind, especially cats. :happy:
music.forlife7
Well-Known Member
Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe
I do. I have a hard time forgiving others, but I learn how to do it. It's extremely hard to forgive sometimes. I know you're not talking about forgiveness, I just thought I'd point that out.
I do. I have a hard time forgiving others, but I learn how to do it. It's extremely hard to forgive sometimes. I know you're not talking about forgiveness, I just thought I'd point that out.
music.forlife7
Well-Known Member
Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe
And that is sometimes the case for me, I'm mainly talking about forgiving people who cause so much of the bad news in the world (like murder or stealing.)
And that is sometimes the case for me, I'm mainly talking about forgiving people who cause so much of the bad news in the world (like murder or stealing.)
gailt915
Well-Known Member
Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe
For me, it is easier sometimes to care for and love someone I don't know very well, but get along with or understand pretty good. It's once you really get to know someone (and they know you) that I find it quite hard to love them.
Pets, however, I love unconditionally! I would rather spend my life with animals than with people. They are so honest and loving themselves.
For me, it is easier sometimes to care for and love someone I don't know very well, but get along with or understand pretty good. It's once you really get to know someone (and they know you) that I find it quite hard to love them.
Pets, however, I love unconditionally! I would rather spend my life with animals than with people. They are so honest and loving themselves.
smith2267
Well-Known Member
Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe
gailt, I am stealing that raven image.
OP, aspies have been demonstrated on autopsy to have smaller than normal amygdalas, which is the emotional center of the brain.
Speaking for myself, I am capable of love, of pets and GF's. And I feel an attachment to family.
I am not always aware of my emotions, and they are low in amplitude, but they are there.
gailt, I am stealing that raven image.
OP, aspies have been demonstrated on autopsy to have smaller than normal amygdalas, which is the emotional center of the brain.
Speaking for myself, I am capable of love, of pets and GF's. And I feel an attachment to family.
I am not always aware of my emotions, and they are low in amplitude, but they are there.
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gailt915
Well-Known Member
Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe
The one with the girl or the raven "yelling"? I like to think the raven is yelling something like: Get outta my face or Leave me the hell alone!!!
The one with the girl or the raven "yelling"? I like to think the raven is yelling something like: Get outta my face or Leave me the hell alone!!!
smith2267
Well-Known Member
Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe
Yelling. My online game persona is Darkwing the Raven.
music.forlife7
Well-Known Member
Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe
Animals are great. I love how they understand even when people don't.
Animals are great
. I love how they understand even when people don't.
gailt915
Well-Known Member
Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe
I had this horrible tooth ache one night and my cat Hobbes knew I was in pain and stayed with me the whole night, right at my side. I was in so much pain, didn't want people around, but my cat was such a comfort to me.
I had this horrible tooth ache one night and my cat Hobbes knew I was in pain and stayed with me the whole night, right at my side. I was in so much pain, didn't want people around, but my cat was such a comfort to me.
Ste11aeres
Well-Known Member
Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe
I used to not feel emotional love for anyone. But after I reached my mid twenties I met this guy who drew me out of myself. He was always helping me. I fell in love with him, started caring for children, got my heart broken by him, and reconciled with him. After all that, he has become my best friend and it is clear that he cares for me and I care for him. Through the whole thing, I learned to go from obsession with him, to actually caring about him, (shown by praying for him.) And to caring about the children I took care of.
After going through all that, things changed in me, emotionally, and now I feel tender emotional love for other people.
I think sometimes certain things develop more slowly in us Aspies. It's not that we never have those emotional things, they just develop at an older age...
Maybe it will be similar for you.
I used to not feel emotional love for anyone. But after I reached my mid twenties I met this guy who drew me out of myself. He was always helping me. I fell in love with him, started caring for children, got my heart broken by him, and reconciled with him. After all that, he has become my best friend and it is clear that he cares for me and I care for him. Through the whole thing, I learned to go from obsession with him, to actually caring about him, (shown by praying for him.) And to caring about the children I took care of.
After going through all that, things changed in me, emotionally, and now I feel tender emotional love for other people.
I think sometimes certain things develop more slowly in us Aspies. It's not that we never have those emotional things, they just develop at an older age...
Maybe it will be similar for you.
Aalo
Hypostasis
Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe
They can also decrease with age or certain events. We can be sensitive to things like these, but then again, some things might never break our defenses.
There might not be answer if it's ok not to feel love, and we don't know if it isn't the most usual autistic trait to have. For what I've understood it's not odd either. I don't know if it's bad or harmful as long as one doesn't feel doing thing as obligated. After all love is just name for a feeling and because it's cultural connections it's not something every person just knows since their birth. It might grow after a while, but there's no need to feel bad if it won't. It's not in any way necessary for life if person can still extrapolate which people are important and worth certain actions etc.
Where as most people in the spectrum have trouble expressing their feelings, I'd in fact be really interested to know how people without feelings at all, and I bet there are more of these, can learn acting so, if they will and do they see it meaningful. But I believe that's a far side autistic trait, and not something most it concerns will be able to discuss well about.
They can also decrease with age or certain events. We can be sensitive to things like these, but then again, some things might never break our defenses.
There might not be answer if it's ok not to feel love, and we don't know if it isn't the most usual autistic trait to have. For what I've understood it's not odd either. I don't know if it's bad or harmful as long as one doesn't feel doing thing as obligated. After all love is just name for a feeling and because it's cultural connections it's not something every person just knows since their birth. It might grow after a while, but there's no need to feel bad if it won't. It's not in any way necessary for life if person can still extrapolate which people are important and worth certain actions etc.
Where as most people in the spectrum have trouble expressing their feelings, I'd in fact be really interested to know how people without feelings at all, and I bet there are more of these, can learn acting so, if they will and do they see it meaningful. But I believe that's a far side autistic trait, and not something most it concerns will be able to discuss well about.
Ste11aeres
Well-Known Member
Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe
Although, to be 100% honest, I don't have feelings for most people. I just now know what it's like to have feelings for some people. Usually for the children I've cared for. But one can care about other people without emotionally feeling it, (although it's a lot nicer to feel it. )
Although, to be 100% honest, I don't have feelings for most people. I just now know what it's like to have feelings for some people. Usually for the children I've cared for. But one can care about other people without emotionally feeling it, (although it's a lot nicer to feel it.
)
anne.bc
Well-Known Member
Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe
I normally care, but there's select people where I intentionally ignore them. Sadly they don't catch the hints in my body language. Basically I shut out stupid and oblivious people, but sadly some of them are not oblivious by choice. Sometimes it's honestly for medical reasons like they hurt so bad that they can't think... but because of the way my mind works, I just get easily irritated anyway. If anyone got confused by anything I said, I'd prefer to not get into specifics. It involves family. I'm not saying I hate anyone in my family, but boy I am frustrated.
I normally care, but there's select people where I intentionally ignore them. Sadly they don't catch the hints in my body language. Basically I shut out stupid and oblivious people, but sadly some of them are not oblivious by choice. Sometimes it's honestly for medical reasons like they hurt so bad that they can't think... but because of the way my mind works, I just get easily irritated anyway. If anyone got confused by anything I said, I'd prefer to not get into specifics. It involves family. I'm not saying I hate anyone in my family, but boy I am frustrated.
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