Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pets?

[Aalo]

Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe

Mankind might got lead to really destructive direction if none hadn't any affection for anyone. It has been studied how effective group dynamics can be it they're solely based on rules and just set of consequences of actions made, and the results haven't been promising. After all, feelings can be very real motivators as they're own for every individual.

I've been thinking about this on my own behalf. I can't say that I'm incapable of love, it's quite simple to understand what that word means, but for me it's all just theory and I feel it difficult to have my knowledge put in practice. It's mechanical and something I've got used to do, not a thing that my mind just would do by itself. Because of that thinking about future seems somewhat sad as seeking a partner is never really going to be a priority and all I'll want to do seems to be having some factual achievements. That sounds quite cold and lonely, and I also mentioned health side about that in another thread earlier. But I won't miss something I don't want, right.

Because I'm still interested in doing things it might not just be a depression, might it be an aspie thing, I can't tell nor won't my therapist do so either. I'm not denying that things couldn't change after meeting someone pecial, but for now it all feels a bit obscure in means of ...well, everything. Ending up with someone just because there should be someone doesn't sound nice for either party. After these thoughts I've only one question - whether life can be meaningful alone, if that's how it's going to be spent.

 

[motormouse]

Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe

Ruby, I would be interested in conducting a little experiment with you. It might seem a bit cruel but might help you understand something

Write down a list of the family and friends you interact with most. Close you eyes and think about them and then think that they have died. Really put yourself into that dark place. How do you feel? If you feel upset/depressed or want to cry (even if you don't understand why) - you love them

You might need ice cream or chocolate for this one and a phone to call someone after. Let us know how you went

 

[ghoulbler]

Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe

Ruby, I would be interested in conducting a little experiment with you. It might seem a bit cruel but might help you understand something

Write down a list of the family and friends you interact with most. Close you eyes and think about them and then think that they have died. Really put yourself into that dark place. How do you feel? If you feel upset/depressed or want to cry (even if you don't understand why) - you love them

You might need ice cream or chocolate for this one and a phone to call someone after. Let us know how you went

Why do you believe that your reaction to someone's death is the deciding factor on whether or not you feel love for them? There are many different points of view about death, so not everyone will experience the anguish you described.

 

[tridianprime]

Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe

Hello, like minded person. Have you had a traumatic experience as a child? I believe my trauma and my string fears lead to me creating a coping mechanism , sometimes consciously, which comes across as sociopathy. I, although have no natural social ability, have learn about body language and manipulate people. I also resultantly feel no emotion for others any more and have become very self revolving. I have no shame confessing it because it makes me feel powerful. My aspergers ha allowed me to detach.

See if you're like me. I was terrified of serial killers for years and would obsess over them and their acts so my solution was to relive it and do similar acts in my mind. It was bad at first but soon you start to enjoy the excitement. It is the whole idea of becoming what scared you. It was partly subconscious though and I did it to cope with my pain. If you have no issue with the lack of caring then embrace it because it is useful. The one issue is because of my Aspergers so the manipulation is very conscious for me but I'm nullified to it. I sometimes wonder if I would go back and change it but if I hadn't i would likely have killed myself.

 

[Ruby]

Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe

Hi. I haven't had a traumatic experience. My lack of caring still kind of bothers me but I have found other ways in which I am caring. I don't care in the same ways and about the same types of things as most people.

My cat passed away recently. My sister and mum were very upset and crying. I didn't cry and my sister didn't see any pain in me at all which seemed to bother her. I didn't want to give away that I didn't care but my sister could tell. The truth is that I didn't care. I didn't really feel anything for my cat since a few years ago but I used to love him. I guess after a while I got bored of him and realised I wasn't an animal person.

 

[Fluttershy]

Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe

I care about my family, but I don't relate/interact with them well and therefore don't express emotion with them.

Friends are different because I get to pick my friends (or lack thereof..) and therefore share interests and become more emotionally close to my friends.

I am very close and very emotional about animals, probably more than people. My pets are like children to me. I am a huge advocate of animal rights and proper pet care. I spoil them. They make me happy. When a pet dies I am devastated and cry. When a human dies I get kind of numb and it feels unreal.

 

[tridianprime]

Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe

The fact you care about caring tells you that its probably just an inability to relate to people. Thats my theory.

 

[Dirtdigger]

Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe

I just wonder how common this is for autistics. Is it okay not to feel love, care or sympathy for family, friends or pets? Is this related to autism or depression? Why do I feel this way?

I'm just like you in this respect. I don't even want a relationship with the opposite sex ever or don't want to even be touched. But, I don't necessarily see it as depression in my case, but a blessing. I have my hobbies, interests and comfort toys that preoccupy my mind which I'm perfectly happy with. I also see my lack of empathy as one of my Autistic symptoms along with my other symptoms which is based on the DSM-V manual where some of them are more severe now than when I was younger.

 

[grapesicles]

Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe

I probably care more about my pet more than I care about humans. I still get upset if someone I like dies.

Though I never understood why people would be sad when celebrities or public figures die if you don't know them personally. I remember people crying and them being incredibly emotional when Princess Diana died but since I didn't know her personally I didn't really care; however when I told family members this they'd shout at me and tell me I should be sad and to be more respectful. I never understood that..

 

[tridianprime]

Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe

When my tadpole died, i cried for weeks. When my mum died, i didn't cry at all. I guess, we're born this way and theres no point trying to change- its who we are.

 

[Ereth]

Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe

There are different ways to grieve. I wouldn't say that not crying at the death of a human loved one makes anybody abnormal. Sometimes the tears won't come until much later. I know this from experience.

 

[tridianprime]

Re: Is it normal for people with autism not to love or care for family, friends or pe

By crying i also mean caring but, yes, you are correct.

 

[Nick12]

NOT ME I LOVE AND CARE FOR EVERY ONE