Is it Normal That I Make Friends With Girls Easier Than I do Other Guys?

[Mr Allen]

I have female carers who I get on great with, and in some cases if I knew them under different circumstances I could, y'know, like them "like that", except I'm loads too old for them at 42

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Holy crap! This thread is featured. Thank you, staff!

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Not saying everyone who likes to talk with girls is like this, but.

Ive encountered guy in university he would have conversation with me and another guy then two girls he was friends with show up in the room and he instantly cuts off in middle of conversation and runs towards them like a puppy. I think he was in their friend zone at best, but he was like disgrace of men in my eyes no backbone they probably considered him as another girlfriend.
This was in late 90s, long before i found out that some women women like to be friends with gay man like go shopping with them etc.

Something tells me when men grow up without a father figure (raised by single mothers) then he have nowhere to copy men traits from so he copy behavior of his mother, which is opposite sex...

I have both a mom and dad, as well as an older brother. I'm also straight.

 

[Mr Allen]

I have both a mom and dad, as well as an older brother. I'm also straight.

Me too, annoying thing is, I've been accused of homosexuality purely because I watch WWE, which according to uneducated idiots is all sweaty men in tights hugging each other.

 

[Judge]

Perhaps that's a question the OP should pose to the females who find your friendship preferable to that of other males. They may find you less threatening in comparison, for whatever reasons. That this may be more about them than yourself.

Social dynamics that in fact, don't necessarily require a guy to be gay.

 

[Autistamatic]

I find it interesting that you're putting such significance on this. Why does it matter?
I personally choose to keep my social circle quite compact, but the gender of my friends makes no difference to how I interact with them, or what I talk about with them. I don't have "guy friends" and "girl friends" or "gay friends" - I just have "friends" irrespective of their gender, sexual orientation or any other factor. I can't say that I find understanding or communicating with either gender any easier or more difficult than the other.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Perhaps that's a question the OP should pose to the females who find your friendship preferable to that of other males. They may find you less threatening in comparison, for whatever reasons. That this may be more about them than yourself.

Social dynamics that in fact, don't necessarily require a guy to be gay.

I'm not threatening at all. I would only hurt somebody if they were trying to kill me. So, that maybe why I got along with girls so well. I also see a large amount of dudes my age (not necessarily NT or on the spectrum), as too aggressive and overly defensive.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

I find it interesting that you're putting such significance on this. Why does it matter?
I personally choose to keep my social circle quite compact, but the gender of my friends makes no difference to how I interact with them, or what I talk about with them. I don't have "guy friends" and "girl friends" or "gay friends" - I just have "friends" irrespective of their gender, sexual orientation or any other factor. I can't say that I find understanding or communicating with either gender any easier or more difficult than the other.

I'm just asking if anybody else relates.

 

[Judge]

I'm not threatening at all.

Exactly.

However hearing it from them rather than yourself may likely answer your most basic concerns.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Exactly.

Yep. I would only harm people if assaulted physically, and attempt to only disarm/disable the assailant.

 

[Judge]

Yep. I would only harm people if assaulted physically, and attempt to only disarm/disable the assailant.

Actually I'm thinking of other types of behaviors that may not necessarily imply physical violence.

Like being seen or heard over ogling women. Anything that might be construed as lecherous behavior. If you don't do such things, you might be viewed in an even more favorable way. No guarantees, but it can happen.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Actually I'm thinking of other types of behaviors that may not necessarily imply physical violence.

Like being seen or heard over ogling women. Anything that might be construed as lecherous behavior. If you don't do such things, you might be viewed in an even more favorable way. No guarantees, but it can happen.

Agree, but what is ogling?

 

[Judge]

Agree, but what is ogling?

verb
gerund or present participle: ogling
stare at in a lecherous manner.
"he was ogling her breasts"
synonyms: leer at, stare at, eye, make eyes at, check out

Something some guys even post about in this domain...without even thinking how it may appear to many female members of this community. I'm inclined to think that one should always avoid any appearance of commenting on or analyzing women in terms of a sex object.

If this is something you are never seen doing in whole or part, it just might put you on their radar, and in a good way. -"Less threatening". Though as I said, there are no guarantees.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

verb
gerund or present participle: ogling
stare at in a lecherous manner.
"he was ogling her breasts"
synonyms: leer at, stare at, eye, make eyes at, check out

Something some guys even post about in this domain...without even thinking how it may appear to many female members of this community.

Oh, okay. Got it.

 

[Monachopia]

I don't know if this is relevant... but I find that as a female, I heavily prefer to be friends with men. They are easier to understand, are more straightforward and are far less likely to play weird social games. I really don't understand or relate to most women out there, our interests or hobbies hardly ever match. I'm more likely to share interests with a guy. There are some women out there who have been great - but they tend to be tomboy-ish in personality or unconventional in what society deems 'normal'.
I don't know if this is to do with being an Aspie, or due to the fact that I didn't grow up with a constant mother figure. There are too many nurture based variables at play to put it down to Autism, same with your preference to being friends with girls... At least in my opinion.

 

[Fino]

Do you find men more threatening? I'm generally afraid of men and avoid strangers who are men as much as I can and am more awkward than usual when meeting someone new who is male.
Men=dangerous
Women=safe

I'm definitely not saying this is true, that's just my emotional reaction, definitely caused by my experiences.

Too bad I'm gay LOL

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Do you find men more threatening? I'm generally afraid of men and avoid strangers who are men as much as I can and am more awkward than usual when meeting someone new who is male.
Men=dangerous
Women=safe

I'm definitely not saying this is true, that's just my emotional reaction, definitely caused by my experiences.

Too bad I'm gay LOL

No, not really. I'm talking about in my age range, so not adults. It seems like teenage guys are more likely to act irrationally than adults, because puberty, obviously.

 

[Judge]

No, not really. I'm talking about in my age range, so not adults. It seems like teenage guys are more likely to act irrationally than adults, because puberty, obviously.

Having an elevated sense of maturity beyond your years can't hurt either. Though it wasn't something I could claim at that age.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Having an elevated sense of maturity beyond your years can't hurt either. Though it wasn't something I could claim at that age.

Yeah. Lol. Other guys my age seem either too sensitive, too irrational, too combative, and maybe even too dangerous. Of course, most of these traits do not apply to my male friends at all.

 

[Pats]

I always got along better with the guys for the same reason as @SusanLR. I wasn't interested in the things the girls were interested in. Guys usually liked me better than girls my age, too. They'd say I was different than the other girls. (I was.) In school I had more male friends than females and it was easier being their friends than dating.