Is my situation novel?

[Au Naturel]

I know the most likely cause(s). It's not a secret. Just unlikely to enter mainstream discourse yet.

Good grief. This is all quite mainstream.

The population decline was inevitable. No conspiracy is needed. Science removes the need for God in the equation. That eliminates the religious injunction to have children. The arguments against birth control and early-term abortion were always religious. Religiosity in advanced economies has slowly but steadily declined for the last 70 years. That includes the US.

Feminism makes marriage less important and offers women lifestyle choices other than childrearing. Childless women become role models.

Technology created the birth control pill. It became extremely easy to avoid pregnancy and put the control in the hands of the woman, who (usually) cares more about such things than the man.

The economics of industrial and post-industrial life turn children from assets to support the family into liabilities who leave home as soon as they become economically viable. Since children are now optional, only people with a deep need to raise children will have them.

China shot itself in the foot with the one-child policy. But now that it is revoked, the people of China decided that only having one - or no - child is a pretty good thing. Birth rates have not rebounded. China is just beginning to implode.

The result is that technologically advanced countries simply don't have children like they used to. Unless you really LOVE children, there's nothing to be gained from it. Many countries in Europe and East Asia are looking at substantial depopulation in the next few decades. OTOH, parts of Africa are exploding. I don't believe current rates will continue. If they do, then Nigeria will have more people by the end of the century than China does now.

Much of the globe will suffer from not having enough young worker bees to support the elderly. The economic survival of nations will depend on further automation and AI to replace the workers who weren't born.

Eventually, it will stabilize. Not every sector of the population will experience the same drop. People who want more children will grow to become a larger part of the population.

 

[Au Naturel]

Asking or answering questions about specifics of your sex life is off limits. No matter where such exchanges take place - school, work, or anywhere else - it is tacky, inappropriate, immature and socially unacceptable.

Bingo!

Anyone who asks you about the frequency of your sex life is setting you up to feel inferior. Don't let them.

 

[Hypnalis]

@Au Naturel

I've been tracking this for a little while, starting with of interview of Stephen J Shaw (who is, for good reason, extremely careful about how he presents the facts).

I think Hans Rosling's story of lower population growth through evening out prosperity (poverty reduction changing the behavior of the worst-off) seems likely to naturally constrain the current high-growth lands, including Nigeria.

I view the other part as being in a grey area on this forum. In my experience on a smaller scale, it can induce a wide range of different responses, ranging from denial to quite strongly negative responses I believe Shaw is right to be cautious.

A prediction of sorts: my guess is that the world will accommodate the changes reasonably well, but we'll see something new in workforce migration. with a new kind of economic equalization as a side-effect.
But the richest countries will start too late, and plan poorly. So assimilating the new workers will be a mess for two generations as usual /sigh.

 

[Markness]

I guess there is no solution for me after all.

 

[Slime_Punk]

I guess there is no solution for me after all.

There are likely an infinite number of solutions, but it's up to you which ones you try. I wouldn't be surprised if 99% of the things guys do on average are actually just to attract / keep a mate, whether we like to tell ourselves otherwise or not!

 

[Markness]

If my situation isn’t novel, why can’t I get out of it?

 

[Au Naturel]

If my situation isn’t novel, why can’t I get out of it?

Novelty has nothing to do with difficulty.

 

[Luca]

If my situation isn’t novel, why can’t I get out of it?

I'm obviously not a psychiatrist, but have you ever been evaluated for OCD? The problem isn't that you don't have a partner, it's that these intrusive, obsessive thoughts are taking over your life and it's all you can ever think about.
Medication and therapy can reduce the intensity of intrusive thoughts. You might want to mention this to a professional because it is greatly reducing your quality of life.

The only way to manage intrusive thoughts I had (I was paranoid about getting pregnant to the point that I was almost hospitalized, because my anxiety was so bad that I couldn't function) was with anxiety medication.