Is there a proper reason to emote?

[DavidS]

Oh david. My heart aches for you. For the hangover, biscuits n gravy tend to be gentle, also immerse yourself in water if you can, or take several showers uf at all possible, the body can absorb some water, and its soothing. Also power napping is highly effective, give yourself an hour, set a pleasant wake up alarm.

I have not been a secret lover in many years, tho i remember it with fondness and the pain is all scarred over. I have the old man's cynicism on romance, in general. I me mine is totally diferent than you and yours, @ simetra is of the wise and should be carefully listened too

My own secret lover was delightful and glorious and of course it all ended in tears. Im a slut though, so go figure.

Best wishes

There was no hangover, I drank down some rum and slumped into the shower, I felt like my feet were swaying but I gauged myself and walked straight lines. It all felt so perplexing. I finally rolled into bed and like a three dimensional snow-angel I rolled from side to side my arms flapping in the air. I then finally fell asleep.

I don’t know what to do, she’s immersed herself into fast pace politics, literally shaping the state of Texas. I keep hoping and praying for some gasp of air that she’ll finally have time to devote to us, but the action never stops, it only grows stronger and everyday I sink further into depression. It’s a living hell.

 

[Thinx]

Do you like/prefer secrecy, or is this her wish? I'm not sure I would feel very confident about this relationship if it's like this. It sounds like you both think you are less important or significant than she is? If you cant be introduced to her colleagues. Tricky if so.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

YOU SHALL NOT

Get outside, go gather stones. Pick some herbs. Find some lizards to watch. Stalk game, shoot a bow, anything. Just distract yourself from this wretched mess. There will be many other beds to leave your boots under in this life. Its really kind of selfish to be monagamous, its like not sharing. This too shall pass,

Now art in any form is a great cure for what ails thee. Wanna see a cool carving project? Its golden (sunburst) locust. Hard as whores heart, i mean i cant dent it with my thumbnail. Birds beak on one side and kanto for the tip. I was going to do fire hardening this year but its too late now, fire season is upon us here again.

I will find a way. If i have to go to some filthy park and make a fire in a stupid metal box that stinks of old food, then so be it. I need to be around a fire, and be in running water up to my neck, and hear the wind in the grass, and watch the raptors fly, perhaps you do too? Are you neglecting the needs of your spirit this day?

 

[DavidS]

Do you like/prefer secrecy, or is this her wish? I'm not sure I would feel very confident about this relationship if it's like this. It sounds like you both think you are less important or significant than she is? If you cant be introduced to her colleagues. Tricky if so.

She co owns a business with a man who’s been her best friend for many years. She’s never wanted to be his significant other, but he’s always held a torch for her. She’s directly told him that if I asked to marry her she’d say yes. He always acted oblivious so she longer tried to tell him anything and fears he’ll go off the rails. As for the other thing, the other secrecy got imposed because her life became way more public over the past 4 months, and stones would be cast by those who want to discredit her message. She is 25 years my elder.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Alright, this one is gonna be kinda deep. I sought out my diagnosis because of relational problems, inability to emote when my girlfriend is stressed (I’d perform actions to make things better but I’ve no strong grasp of theory of mind yet), meltdowns and breakdowns in conflict, and other factors that point to ASD.

So, with diagnosis in hand WHY and WHAT prompts one to change and undergo therapy? I love my girlfriend, with all my heart, I want us to spend the rest of our lives together and I want to always do anything to make her happy. Is this the wrong reason to peel back the onion to try to be “normal”? She says if I want change I have to want it for myself or it is for the wrong reason, but I can’t wrap my brain around that.

Hypothetically, let’s say you were blind from birth and were given the opportunity through rigorous methods to at least see hazily, are you prompted because you want to see or because you want to experience the world in the same way those you love do as well?

What are y’all’s thoughts?

Don't change your basic personality, that is you.
Only improve on areas you feel need it, we all have them.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

It may well be a boundary issue. As an active artist you have a fith circuit active, the nuero somatic. As a man that has
ASD your thinking is more holistic. And you have a different situational awareness. Its like seeing in color.

Boundary issues are the great big issue with all of us. A confusion of roles and responsibilities. Then too remember, you project your own insecurity onto your appreciation of the Other. Some [aspect] of your Appreciation of the Other is Always False.[or incomplete]

 

[Fino]

Therapy could definitely help! Perhaps not for your stated reasons but for many reasons.

 

[DavidS]

Therapy could definitely help! Perhaps not for your stated reasons but for many reasons.

Well, yesterday we finally reached an agreement. We’ve put the relationship on hold until I can better understand my triggers and find ways to minimize them, or at least have a less explosive meltdown. We’ll talk, but only if we need to, and when I feel ready, we will move forward again.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Let time pass, the pain will lessen. Singing is actually really good for you.
Be kind to yourself. Remember you have value in your own wright. You are a well regarded tradesman, a marvelous artisan, a scholar, and many other things as well i am sure. As you get older, you will learn better coping skills. Discernment is the wisdom born of often painful experience. Might be a great time to start writing that thing you have always wanted to?