Is there a way to not live in an apartment when you suffer with noise sensitivity? (UK only)

[Judge]

Originally the apartment building we live in wasn't designed for families. It was supposed to be exclusively and conveniently for key workers who are doing shift work.

I suppose that's a lesson learned. That if the occupancy doesn't appear to match a building's intended use, to pass on it as a place to live. A "red flag" so to speak. Of course we can't guarantee being aware of such factors in real time before a unit is actually occupied.

 

[Misty Avich]

I suppose that's a lesson learned. That if the occupancy doesn't appear to match a building's intended use, to pass on it as a place to live. Of course we can't guarantee being aware of such factors in real time before a unit is actually occupied.

They first moved in when the baby was tiny. On their first week we kept hearing a baby crying, and I didn't have a problem then. I just said to my husband "oh, I think they have a baby up there" and didn't think anything else. But they kept banging and stomping about before the baby could walk, so I guess the baby isn't just to blame.

It triggers the shame I have about not being a parent when other parents lecture me that "I'm not a parent so I don't know how severely hard it is to be a parent". But I guess the same applies to people who have never had to live below stomping elephants in a poorly-built apartment either, although I suppose families get better protected than sensitive folk like me. It is why I think there should be child-free apartment blocks, but I got called a "selfish old bat" for agreeing to that idea.

 

[Judge]

although I suppose families get better protected than sensitive folk like me. It is why I think there should be child-free apartment blocks, but I got called a "selfish old bat" for agreeing to that idea.

Sounds like a good idea, but do the local demographics and landlords support such a notion?

I only know here that housing segregated by age is no guarantee of other problems. Like older people smoking indiscriminately, or having their tvs volume excessively loud because of their hearing. Or being located predominantly more often in the inner city areas which often have more crime. It gets pretty discouraging to see how easily lower rents for senior citizens have their issues as well. Apart from rents on a monthly basis without a lease and some control of rents within a 12-month period.

Leaving much of the equation as a "crapshoot". Throw those dice and see what happens. Interesting to see though that the UK's median age has gone up progressively for some time. Yet the age of 40 probably isn't high enough to support exclusive communities for senior citizens in the eyes of government or planners. And private sector landlords likely not wanting to give anyone a break.

https://www.worldometers.info/demographics/uk-demographics/#median-age
Meanwhile on the other side of the pond....a similar story.

https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2023/population-estimates-characteristics.html

 

[Misty Avich]

Sounds like a good idea, but do the local demographics and landlords support such a notion?

No, because as humans we can only have noise sensory issues if the noise is being made on purpose. If it's a darling little child making the noise then we just have to tolerate it, because, well, it's a darling little child who can't help it, so we're expected to just live with it. But that's not how it works with me. Put me somewhere away from children then I'll be happy.

I only know here that housing segregated by age is no guarantee of other problems. Like older people smoking indiscriminately, or having their tvs volume excessively loud because of their hearing. Or being located predominantly more often in the inner city areas which often have more crime. It gets pretty discouraging to see how easily lower rents for senior citizens have their issues as well. Apart from rents on a monthly basis without a lease and some control of rents within a 12-month period.

Leaving much of the equation as a "crapshoot". Throw those dice and see what happens. Interesting to see though that the UK's median age has gone up progressively for some time. Yet the age of 40 probably isn't high enough to support exclusive communities for senior citizens in the eyes of government or planners. And private sector landlords likely not wanting to give anyone a break.

https://www.worldometers.info/demographics/uk-demographics/#median-age
Meanwhile on the other side of the pond....a similar story.

https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2023/population-estimates-characteristics.html

My husband is over 60 so we might be able to get an old people's bungalow but if he passes away then I wouldn't be able to stay there unless he passes away after I turn 60, which is highly unlikely because I'm quite a lot younger, though I'd do anything for him to live another 100 years of course.

He says he has life insurance and that I'd be richer if he passed away, and although I'd love to be richer, I'd still rather him be alive with me, whether I'm rich or poor. I'd be so heartbroken if I ever lost him.

 

[Misty Avich]

. I hope that you understand that parents cannot and should not try to silence a toddler who is simply acting normally. That would be cruel and potentially detrimental to the child's wellbeing.

I DO understand, what do you think I'm stupid? But understanding doesn't erase sensory issues. You're NT so I guess you wouldn't understand that.

 

[Jonn]

The noise they make, no matter how innocuous, is having a knock-on effect on my sensory issues and I don't care whether it's made by party-goers or a cute little 2-year-old, noise is noise and we want out for the sake of my mental health.

Many ppl on the spectrum have major sensory issues. Some shops/businesses have low noise/music hours bc of this.
Having very noisy neighbours must be extremely distressing for those who do.

 

[Jonn]

But understanding doesn't erase sensory issues. You're NT so I guess you wouldn't understand that.

Research shows that autistic people consistently experience physical discomfort and anxiety as a result of sensory issues.3 When we consider sensory processing issues in this way, we can appreciate just how difficult it can be for autistic individuals to manage daily demands, such as coping with school environments.4 And the problems don’t stop with school, of course. Being in the workplace, parenting, or completing daily tasks like cleaning and shopping can all become unmanageable.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...c-people-experience-sensory-processing-issues

 

[Jonn]

If it's a darling little child making the noise then we just have to tolerate it, because, well, it's a darling little child who can't help it, so we're expected to just live with it.

The primary fault is with the parents who removed the carpet and installed wooden floors instead.
I am surprised they haven't offered to put down some rugs to lessen the problem.

 

[Misty Avich]

The primary fault is with the parents who removed the carpet and installed wooden floors instead.
I am surprised they haven't offered to put down some rugs to lessen the problem.

The tenant who lived there before was the one who removed all the carpets in every room.

 

[Misty Avich]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...c-people-experience-sensory-processing-issues

This.
Having noise sensitivity isn't the same as not understanding the cause of the noise. I have mentioned my noise sensitivities in the housing application. It's been a few months now and we haven't heard anything back. I suppose we have to chase them up, or do I just need to be more patient?

 

[Mary Terry]

I DO understand, what do you think I'm stupid?

I have observed that you're a chronic complainer and attention-seeker, on this forum. Insulting NT people is no different from racism, bigotry and many other behaviors. When you do that, you reinforce the world's negative stereotype of autistics.

 

[tree]

This.
Having noise sensitivity isn't the same as not understanding the cause of the noise. I have mentioned my noise sensitivities in the housing application. It's been a few months now and we haven't heard anything back. I suppose we have to chase them up, or do I just need to be more patient?

It would be wise to follow up.

 

[Misty Avich]

I have observed that you're a chronic complainer and attention-seeker, on this forum. Insulting NT people is no different from racism, bigotry and many other behaviors. When you do that, you reinforce the world's negative stereotype of autistics.

I don't even know how I insulted NT people, all you do is put words into my mouth as usual I'm not welcome here I'm leaving or the mods can lock this thread I'm fed up with being called all these names what is wrong with you get back to Wrong Planet into your clique if you're one of them

 

[Mary Terry]

Misty - See your post #105. Making a snide remark that because I'm NT, I cannot understand that you have sensory issues despite your understanding the source of the noise that bothers you, is rude, insulting to me, and a form of bigotry. I've never been on Wrong Planet and I belong to no clique.

 

[Misty Avich]

Misty - See your post #105. Making a snide remark that because I'm NT, I cannot understand that you have sensory issues despite your understanding the source of the noise that bothers you, is rude, insulting to me, and a form of bigotry. I've never been on Wrong Planet and I belong to no clique.

I meant it sounds like all the replies from you in this thread are due to not understanding sensory issues that some of us with ASD, ADHD, anxiety and other mental health issues have a hard time with. I wouldn't have said that if you hadn't replied with unsolicited criticism in my thread. I just thought you didn't understand about sensory issues.

And thank God you're not from that toxic site, I was treated awful there and I'm still fragile from it and I'm paranoid a few people from there are following me around the internet.