Is there any hope for me?

[Markness]

l am a little confused. You are trying to meet someone who is well-known socially? Or has decent social skills? The cat rescue place here has a a lot of very socially adept volunteers. It seems to me you have very high standards. Are you well-know socially? Do you have decent social skills? You over- ask when you are here saying you feel socially inadept.
Dating sites are a learning process, you need to go with the intention of meeting a friend first. Some people meet somebody right away. Others may never meet someone. Then maybe it may develop more or you just stay really great friends. You need to pursue a passion so that you draw more interesting people and possibly someone to date. Also your passion may generate income. Too me, it feels you expect woman to drop out of the sky and land on you.

I didn’t mean it like that. What I meant was that I get told to volunteer but the people who tell me don’t do it themselves. They are partying with friends. It’s similar to how I was told to just focus on studying for college but I saw others socializing both in and out of class. It really saddened me and made me not want to go back to college.

When it came to dating sites, the closest I got to getting a date was a woman messaging me that she wanted to meet even though she had no money. I told her I was willing to pay for her even though I don’t think either sex is entitled to free stuff but then her profile disappeared without a trace. Other times I messaged women, either the conversation would fizzle out, the woman would drag her feet by coming up with all sorts of reasons why she couldn’t meet even though she would say she wanted to, I would get ghosted, or get told they weren’t looking for a date anymore. One even told me she only had a profile for hook ups and she stopped doing that but didn’t bother taking her profile down. She didn’t want to even be my friend because she already had a group of friends and was not interested in making new ones. That further exacerbates my struggles. Women in my culture tend to only either socialize with other women because their boyfriend/husband won’t let them talk to other men or they think men always want something from them or they already have an established friendship circle and don’t want to make new friends anymore. Dating sites essentially tortured me mentally and I don’t want to use them anymore. I don’t even want to use Facebook at this point.

I tried to be a part of the heavy metal culture but I struggled to get good at the guitar (I don’t even pick it up anymore), I couldn’t find fellow musicians, I couldn’t keep conversations going no matter how hard I tried, and I didn’t drink or smoke so I was constantly the odd man out. I was even subjected to hostility from some people at shows.

 

[Aspychata]

Think l understand better. Being on the spectrum, means we are odd and usually don't fit in. l enjoy working out but l am usually the only older female. l like being alone at times but l am accused of being a lesbian. There are a lot of reasons why l don't fit in. l like the stock market. Most woman could care less. l enjoy biking and tennis, even more woman don't. l don't like manipulating men yet l have plenty of females telling me that l should.

 

[Markness]

Think l understand better. Being on the spectrum, means we are odd and usually don't fit in. l enjoy working out but l am usually the only older female. l like being alone at times but l am accused of being a lesbian. There are a lot of reasons why l don't fit in. l like the stock market. Most woman could care less. l enjoy biking and tennis, even more woman don't. l don't like manipulating men yet l have plenty of females telling me that l should.

Manipulating men? It’s usually men who are accused of manipulating women so this is news to me. If you are a man and seen without a woman, others might think your gay. It’s ridiculous to accuse either sex of that just because they are by themselves.

My only female friends are a woman I knew back in high school whose husband doesn’t get protective of her if she talks to another man and some previous social workers. Partly why I lost an ex-friend was because one of her boyfriends wouldn’t let her talk to other men despite how she considered herself to be a feminist.

 

[Markness]

Please understand that I do wish I had female friends in person besides the few I already have. I would even be even happier if a relationship came out from a friendship with a woman. I just keep encountering women who already have boyfriends who are controlling of what they do or they aren’t interested in making new friends. I am 32 and that doesn’t help things. It makes me scared about my time running out.

 

[Markness]

I sometimes see young women wearing Legend of Zelda sweaters. I only recently realized I actually like those games and I wonder if playing them when I was younger would’ve led to more interactions with the opposite sex. Could it still happen now?

 

[Markness]

Think l understand better. Being on the spectrum, means we are odd and usually don't fit in. l enjoy working out but l am usually the only older female. l like being alone at times but l am accused of being a lesbian. There are a lot of reasons why l don't fit in. l like the stock market. Most woman could care less. l enjoy biking and tennis, even more woman don't. l don't like manipulating men yet l have plenty of females telling me that l should.

I am surprised I didn’t get ripped in half for my initial response to this.

 

[Markness]

If I finally found a loving girlfriend, would anyone here be happy for me?

 

[VictorR]

If I finally found a loving girlfriend, would anyone here be happy for me?

Whether we may say it or not, we'd be there vicariously cheering for you

 

[Kalinychta]

Dude. STOP WHINING. You’re probably the most self-centered, self-obsessing person I’ve ever seen on this thread. Try focusing on commenting on other people’s threads for a while. Start doing yoga. Meditation. Puzzles. Volunteering. ANYTHING to focus off of your obsession with your own neurosis.

Seriously, if you’re not going to take our advice here, if you just want to whine and gripe about how sad and lonely you are, just keep it to yourself already. We get it. Otherwise, start listening to what we say and DO something to help yourself.

 

[tree]

If I finally found a loving girlfriend, would anyone here be happy for me?

This question sounds like you value the status of having a girlfriend
at least as much as the wished-for relationship. How does the
evaluation of others enter into the situation, for you?

 

[Markness]

This question sounds like you value the status of having a girlfriend
at least as much as the wished-for relationship. How does the
evaluation of others enter into the situation, for you?

I don’t mean to come off like I am wanting a certain status. I guess I just don’t understand how it comes off to others. How the evaluation of others comes in? I am not really certain. It would feel nice to hear something like “See? Told you you could do it!” or something like that instead of “You’re never getting a chick!” or “You’re a loser!” like the bullies at school told me.

 

[tree]

So you hope that by being able to announce you are in a relationship
with a girl, it will make up for times in the past when people invalidated
you. You are tired of people asserting that you don't really count.

 

[Markness]

So you hope that by being able to announce you are in a relationship
with a girl, it will make up for times in the past when people invalidated
you. You are tired of people asserting that you don't really count.

Is it a bad thing? Please hear me out, I really do want a relationship for the love and to spend my life with someone special.

I suppose I take things that people tell me too hard. At work, I get scolded by a certain person often and I don’t really see her doing it to others like she is singling me out.

 

[Markness]

Dude. STOP WHINING. You’re probably the most self-centered, self-obsessing person I’ve ever seen on this thread. Try focusing on commenting on other people’s threads for a while. Start doing yoga. Meditation. Puzzles. Volunteering. ANYTHING to focus off of your obsession with your own neurosis.

Seriously, if you’re not going to take our advice here, if you just want to whine and gripe about how sad and lonely you are, just keep it to yourself already. We get it. Otherwise, start listening to what we say and DO something to help yourself.

Let me set some things straight.

- I work at a library and I tried to apply to another because the people at the other one are nicer (the people I work with tend to be short tempered and hostile), the patrons who go in are actually quiet (the ones who go into the one I work at are loud and will get hostile easily), and it doesn’t stink badly. My application was taken but I never got a call back despite inquiring multiple times and only found out through my older brother and his wife that I wasn’t considered even for an interview.

- I have volunteered before.

- I have tried yoga before.

- I have even tried ballroom dancing before.

- I attended a Meet Up group for a few years but was often pushed to the wayside because I didn’t drink or smoke and the group leader’s girlfriend chewed me out for something completely trivial.

- I don’t play video games all day; I also don’t play FPS games. I also don’t see anything wrong with the games I do play. If I did, the stuff I’ve drawn and the stories I’ve written wouldn’t exist.

- I have posted in other people’s threads.

- I do meditate. Sometimes it works, sometimes it’s difficult but I haven’t stopped.

Are we clear?

 

[Kalinychta]

Let me set some things straight.

- I work at a library and I tried to apply to another because the people at the other one are nicer (the people I work with tend to be short tempered and hostile), the patrons who go in are actually quiet (the ones who go into the one I work at are loud and will get hostile easily), and it doesn’t stink badly. My application was taken but I never got a call back despite inquiring multiple times and only found out through my older brother and his wife that I wasn’t considered even for an interview.

- I have volunteered before.

- I have tried yoga before.

- I have even tried ballroom dancing before.

- I attended a Meet Up group for a few years but was often pushed to the wayside because I didn’t drink or smoke and the group leader’s girlfriend chewed me out for something completely trivial.

- I don’t play video games all day; I also don’t play FPS games. I also don’t see anything wrong with the games I do play. If I did, the stuff I’ve drawn and the stories I’ve written wouldn’t exist.

- I have posted in other people’s threads.

- I do meditate. Sometimes it works, sometimes it’s difficult but I haven’t stopped.

Are we clear?

Excellent. Now you’re showing some spunk. Keep it up