I apologize for asking this but...
Is it just me, but is it the "typical" for one with Asperger's to be "strong", "brave", and "stable" during the death of a love one?
I am not trying to troll or pick at people. I just believe I am not grieving right.
I really loved this relative that died and was close, but I am the "brave" one during this time.
I felt almost nothing at the death of my grandfather and my great-grandmother (I was actually close to my great-grandma and used to go to her house and feed wild cats whenever we visited at Christmases and Thanksgivings!). I felt somewhat sad only when I saw my mom and grandma crying. When my grandma on my dad's side died, I did feel really sad but I didn't want to cry. I don't like crying in front of people because then they feel the need to ask what's wrong and "nothing" doesn't suffice >_>
Also when I see things in public that make me uncomfortable, I don't look nor pay any attention to it. I can block it out. It seems like lot of people can't. Is this an AS thing?
I also tend to not get embarrassed like other people do. My husband says lot of things just do not embarrass me. Things that normally embarrass people do not embarrass me. Is this an AS thing?
I avoid what makes me uncomfortable. I avert my gaze and dismiss it. In most cases. That being said the woman that was selling frozen meats to us that had such a low cut dress that her bazooms were all over the place was much more difficult to ignore - interestingly enough my husband never noticed! lol. I only get embarrassed in social situations. Like when I was young, I used to have a lot of modesty. Now my kids walk in on me in the bath, using the toilet, whatever, dressing... nothing. Now on the other hand if i had to give a speech, or if I were talking to someone and my cheeks get super hot.
Anyone else mix up related/semi-related words often? I do all the time.
Sometimes I know the definition of a word I want, but not in words, like I just KNOW the meaning of the word I want, but I can neither think of the word nor of how to explain the definition of the word I'm looking for in words. It's not quite a "picture" of the word that I have but just a sense of "this is what the word is", if that makes any sense.
Is this typical: to transition from being an honor roll student in elementary school, to having difficulty in the later grades?
I started off as a straight A's student, then by middle school I was AB's. In high school I made my first C and then D. In college I had to retake a class. My GPA was something like 2.8 to 3.0. I got my stupid diploma though lol. B.S. in CS. I just stopped seeing the point of taking the classes. I wasn't learning anything and I didn't like doing the "busywork". As a result of my public education I know homeschool my children and am having fun with it. I believe in learning, not being "taught at". And quite honestly I don't see the point in knowing the exact years such and such things happened, or all these little details. Having some general knowledge on subjects such as the civil war, or biology, or the like is good, and I'm all for learning, but I HATED being graded on what I knew. I just wanted to learn, and maybe do homework for fun if I wanted (I used to love the logic puzzles that I would get assigned in math classes.. Super fun). The classes I had the best time learning in were the math classes because they were always illustrated on the board (part and parcel of teaching math in public schools). I also did fairly well on things like grammar because there was also lots of that drawn on the board. Lecture classes though like chemistry, histories, most sciences... I had to work to pass those classes. Even in my specialty (computer science) I did well in most of my classes. But one class the teacher was frequently absent (he was a professional teaching on the side and went on frequent business trips), and so he would just say "reach ch. blah blah", and I did not do well in that class at all. It's difficult for me to learn by reading unless it's something I'm absolutely fascinated in. Usually I read fiction, and if it's not something I'm interested in it's almost impossible for me to learn anything from reading.
- I tend to laugh at very inappropriate times ("sad" parts of movies, violent crimes in the newspaper, etc)
I laugh when people hurt themselves on accident >_> Although intentional stupidity I do not find funny (aka Jackass The Movie). Sometimes I laugh at my children when they hurt themselves :-/
Luckily I also look young (I'm 20, could pass for 14) but my creepy interests...I mean I literally read about serial killers for hours =P
And other very odd things.
I have a photo of myself when I was 12 and with a few very minor difference due to puberty I still look exactly the same. Other people have told me so too. As far as interests, they vary from fantasy and vampires and medieval to old fashioned things like knitting and crochetting lol
I hate the sound of people chewing or eating. No real reason, I just can't bear it. It upsets me, makes me feel panicky, angry, etc. Like I said, there's no reason for this, I just hate eating noises. Is it me? Or...
I despise this. As a result I'm very self conscious of my own eating noises. Like I feel VERY uncomfortable eating chips in a quiet room (unless I'm alone) and I will practically let the chip dissolve before chewing so it doesn't make noise when I find myself in such a situation. Usually I try to get some background noise going on so it's not as obvious and annoying. And it's hard to tell sometimes since chewing sounds SO much louder inside your own head than other people can hear.
Does anyone have problems in eating certain things if they're not of a specific brand and thus of different quality/consistency.
I only like instant maple and brown sugar oatmeal. I won't eat homemade oatmeal even if it has maple syrup and brown sugar. Not the same thing. I also only like Busch's baked beans. I don't like chewy fudge, only crumbly fudge.
Irrational Sense Of Loyalty.
If someone gives me a job or if I make a friend, I am extraordinarily loyal to that person, who then makes my life that much harder if they end up being a jerk like taking advantage of that faithfulness in some way.
I'm very loyal to those I perceive to be friends. Like the first time I was married, even though it was far from an ideal relationship and he did all kinds of things to hurt me I stayed with him for 8 years because I thought I was supposed to. My husband now says that I throw myself into a relationship with all I am which is good for us now because now I am in a good marriage lol. However i also have this: when I feel people are treating me fairly I treat them fairly. Like at jobs... if I feel like I am being respected with my work and not being badgered or smothered then I work hard and am honest and get all my work done before moving on to other things. But there have been a few jobs where I felt smothered and like questioned on my abilities so I was less than accurate in counting time and such. Like I had a job where I had to pump milk for my baby at home and they insisted I not record that time as work time (I am a programmer so this is kind of a stupid policy and I'd never heard that crap before). IT made me feel like they said I was stealing so regardless of the fact that I work much faster than most people I know and I jokingly say one of my hours is like 4 of other people's I was very offended and thus the reaciton that ensued.
