Is this love?

[Larisa]

I have had a friend for six years. Family friend, visits our house every couple of weeks but has now lived in college town for the past three years. We met on stage, strangely enough, whenever I was about ten and he fifteen.

This question comes into play, however, due to a conversation I had with some of my classmates. I was beginning to be concerned that I had some sort of heart defect due to the occasional heavy thumping and light airy feeling I get in my chest on occasion, stemming from about six years ago. They had asked me about the specifics and soon pointed out that all of these "attacks" coincided with me being around, texting with, or even thinking about this friend.
As of now, I can see how ridiculous my previous hypothesis of a heart defect was, as my chest is feeling airy at the mention of my friend. I have examined my behaviour since then and have come to the definite conclusion that this feeling, whatever it may be, is a response to this friend. Perhaps I had diverted myself from the obvious due to my unwillingness to admit that I could respond to another individual in such a positive way. I say positive, but sometime this feeling burns or keeps me from thinking of other things. I have never slept well, but this feeling has occasionally disrupted my sleep these past years.

Anyhow, my classmate concluded that I must be sexually attracted to this friend of mine, for they believe the feeling I described to be a sexual response. I will admit that my hands become sweaty and my pulse quicker when addressing my friend, but I don't feel any stimulation in the genital area. I often want to reach out and hug my friend (something highly unusual for me), but I have never had any desire for coitus whatsoever. We often hug and this airy feeling intensifies during these occasions, but as stated previously, I don't recognise any sexual urges. Sometimes, when we are both laying on the sofa, I have the urge to snuggle with him, but not in a sexual context: I'm curious if all of these feelings are some sort of repressed expression of a subconscious romantic inclination towards him, because it doesn't seem common for friends to snuggle or hug as frequently as we do.

I want to support you with your own sensations and feelings.
And I think you'll know more by listening to them and your wishes that might appear in your mind.
I think a lot of people confuse their feelings of fear and interest and make rapid assumptions (and sometimes act on them) that don't make them happy eventually.
Do take your time and your own tempo of approaching to your real self and your real dreams (because I can see you are hiding from yourself your connection to the person you care for and sensations you feel about him).
I don't think there can be universal etalons of 'love' or something - it's a choice what to make out of small signals.
Sometimes to hurry up and grab what seems close - ruins everything that could grow naturally if was given a chance and time.
Listen to yourself and choose for your own life - do not betray yourself trying to match.
I advise: breathe, let go of your fears to approach and to loose, live your full life you can and notice everything you feel and sense.
It's your life, first of all.
If you'll stay friends with the guy - it's great, isn't it?
If you'll become closer eventually - let him make his own choices as you make yours - or your relationship may get suffocated by fear and control (that is jealousy).