Is this really a friend worth it for me to consider?

[paloftoon]

I think this is a friend worth it for me to consider, but the effort is already becoming too lacking. This was a person I was interested in dating on a dating app about 3/4 of a year ago. I was getting tired of initiating the contact after about 3-3.5 weeks, and probably found other things or people to focus on instead. So, the conversation didn't continue. It was always open to continue, but it didn't. Come the present, turns out this person wants to start off as friends and see how things go. I find out he was going through a transition to some psych meds according to him and that is why the time gap.
He wants gay friends and he doesn't have any, but I'm still chasing down for information and he finally suggested something only after I asked about what to do, but "going to the mall because it's cold outside" is still vague. There is a mall near both of us, but no mall in-between. I wonder if I should just ask about the mall specifically near me?

If I'm using my time, I want it to matter. I prefer building deeper friendships and if I know that's not going to happen at minimum, then I want to move on. I don't care about the time gap too much, but I don't want to be pissin' around twiddling my thumbs either.
I doubt any dating prospects would come to fruition even though I'm attracted to his physicality and I sense he has a respectable career and general life things.
Thoughts?

 

[Masked Man]

I think this is a friend worth it for me to consider, but the effort is already becoming too lacking. This was a person I was interested in dating on a dating app about 3/4 of a year ago. I was getting tired of initiating the contact after about 3-3.5 weeks, and probably found other things or people to focus on instead. So, the conversation didn't continue. It was always open to continue, but it didn't. Come the present, turns out this person wants to start off as friends and see how things go. I find out he was going through a transition to some psych meds according to him and that is why the time gap.
He wants gay friends and he doesn't have any, but I'm still chasing down for information and he finally suggested something only after I asked about what to do, but "going to the mall because it's cold outside" is still vague. There is a mall near both of us, but no mall in-between. I wonder if I should just ask about the mall specifically near me?

If I'm using my time, I want it to matter. I prefer building deeper friendships and if I know that's not going to happen at minimum, then I want to move on. I don't care about the time gap too much, but I don't want to be pissin' around twiddling my thumbs either.
I doubt any dating prospects would come to fruition even though I'm attracted to his physicality and I sense he has a respectable career and general life things.
Thoughts?

My only thought is something that someone said on a Reddit forum in relation to feeling like you have to always be the one to organize activities or contact friends. They said - if you feel like you're chasing someone, it's because they're running away from you.

This stuck with me, as someone who has felt like I quite often have to be the one to initiate texts or meetings with people I want to be friends with. I have basically changed what I do, in that I initiate, but if they flake or are vague I just drop it. When people are interested they make time.

 

[paloftoon]

My only thought is something that someone said on a Reddit forum in relation to feeling like you have to always be the one to organize activities or contact friends. They said - if you feel like you're chasing someone, it's because they're running away from you.

This stuck with me, as someone who has felt like I quite often have to be the one to initiate texts or meetings with people I want to be friends with. I have basically changed what I do, in that I initiate, but if they flake or are vague I just drop it. When people are interested they make time.

I do have friends that are followers, but when I ask them something, they respond promptly.

 

[paloftoon]

I decided since it's only one day before, I'll ask him to meet at a place close to me and if he's not okay making that reasonable trek since he didn't try hard enough, then I'll just move on.

 

[kyliewyote]

I think this is a friend worth it for me to consider, but the effort is already becoming too lacking. This was a person I was interested in dating on a dating app about 3/4 of a year ago. I was getting tired of initiating the contact after about 3-3.5 weeks, and probably found other things or people to focus on instead. So, the conversation didn't continue. It was always open to continue, but it didn't. Come the present, turns out this person wants to start off as friends and see how things go. I find out he was going through a transition to some psych meds according to him and that is why the time gap.
He wants gay friends and he doesn't have any, but I'm still chasing down for information and he finally suggested something only after I asked about what to do, but "going to the mall because it's cold outside" is still vague. There is a mall near both of us, but no mall in-between. I wonder if I should just ask about the mall specifically near me?

If I'm using my time, I want it to matter. I prefer building deeper friendships and if I know that's not going to happen at minimum, then I want to move on. I don't care about the time gap too much, but I don't want to be pissin' around twiddling my thumbs either.
I doubt any dating prospects would come to fruition even though I'm attracted to his physicality and I sense he has a respectable career and general life things.
Thoughts?

I'm on another string I started, but am so appreciative of the responses, I figured to offer the same kindness in some other strings.
He said he's going through med changes, so leave an open door for that....but keep your main door with all the other options you may find where the effort is more equal (some of the feedback I'm getting, but very different situation). Comments back to me in my string have me thinking strongly on myself for my choices

 

[Rocco]

I decided since it's only one day before, I'll ask him to meet at a place close to me and if he's not okay making that reasonable trek since he didn't try hard enough, then I'll just move on.

This sounds like a good plan.

 

[paloftoon]

It was raining real hard today. So he canceled and I agree that the weather was unusually bad.

I hope he reschedules on his own. I also wish he was into me sexually from the start, and I dislike that he isn't. I really want the friendship, but I don't want to take my time with it either. So, I'm not going to initiate reaching out to reschedule, but I will definitely respond if he does.