Job rejection dealing..

[Owliet]

Why do job rejections hurt me? I don’t understand. I didn’t really even want this job that has just rejected me but telling me that it has nothing to do with my relevant experience, means that I messed up the interview and I dont understand how or why because I didn’t think that I seemed anxious to them — but now I’m thinking if I was anxious obviously to them and that makes me worry if I think I am masking but I am not….

Job rejection again just means that I have failed again.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Agree.

That said,...there are several videos on YouTube that specifically cover this topic of how to make the right impression during a job interview. These may help with your approach, your language, the key phrases, the key behaviors, etc.

 

[Owliet]

Agree.

That said,...there are several videos on YouTube that specifically cover this topic of how to make the right impression during a job interview. These may help with your approach, your language, the key phrases, the key behaviors, etc.

I think I will also have to speak to my support worker too in knowing how to deal with this process. It is just very difficult to determine what I am doing is enough during them, because I do get to the interview stage often but then I just seem to fail at the point. during my first interviews it was my anxiety, but this time around it was not too much of a problem …or at least I didn’t think it was because I had at least successfully completed one recently to get this current job and it is disappointing that by behaving the same way it just didn’t work…but maybe it was my anxiety — I had it as a surprise and it was quite quickly requested. It is just very frustrating.

 

[Aspychata]

Rejection for jobs is pretty much a given. Sure , l am sad when l didn't make the grade but it's a very subjective process decided by paper pushers who sometimes have no skills at picking productive workers. ND bosses usually pick up on my ND, and l usually get hired. I usually fail over half of NT interviews however l don't go into overthinking it. Because our style of communication is different.

You can lose out on job interviews because the interviewer just doesn't personally like you. I do better with a male interviewing me then a female about 3/4 of the time. I also do much better with an older person who is hiring then a younger one. So there are a lot of parameters going on.

One thing l noticed, is if you can make a connection with them, like you both like dogs, or have the same understanding on customer service, the success rate is better.

Sorry to read you feel so defeated by the process.

 

[Owliet]

however l don't go into overthinking it. Because our style of communication is different.

This is what I think is the problem — I am now going into some over thinking of what I did and what I may not have done but had to do. I will get over it but I just don’t understand why they hurt me, why do I take them like I feel like I’m being broken?

 

[Outdated]

I had the opposite problem. I had mental problems and I wasn't prepared to go back to work, but in order to qualify for unemployment benefits I had to apply for at least 20 jobs a month. I became a bit of an expert at walking that fine line, writing applications that looked like I was making an effort but were guaranteed to put employers off.

Actually getting an interview triggered panic attacks. I looked forward to getting emails that started with "We regret to inform you....".

 

[Atrapa Almas]

Rejection hurts. Its ok that you feel that way.

If you have some friend or familiar to roleplay interviews, it can be usefull. I recorded myself at fake job interviews and pretending to talk in public so I could review and spot things to improve.

 

[Aspychata]

This is what I think is the problem — I am now going into some over thinking of what I did and what I may not have done but had to do. I will get over it but I just don’t understand why they hurt me, why do I take them like I feel like I’m being broken?

Did you have a overly critical parent? My father was overly critical. I also can freeze when dealing with a critical friend, because l can trigger back to my step-father. Do you feel your self-worth is being questioned? You should apply in Florida, employers are desperate for workers here. I just read the hospitals have such a severe nursing shortage that they can't take patients. You probably would nail a job in one hour by the time you stepped of the plane. The problem is that you may quit because you hate the co-workers though.

Great you are discussing this and trying to get to the bottom of these feelings. That's a sign of maturity.

 

[Owliet]

"We regret to inform you....".

Yes, I have something similar and this always hurts me as soon as I read it, like Ihave a stabbing pain of dread. Having no job fills me with anxiety, I like working. I enjoy working (except the social elements with colleagues). I become depressed if I have no purpose (as example for since July to Oktober).

Rejection hurts. It’s ok that you feel that way.

If you have some friend or familiar to roleplay interviews, it can be usefull. I recorded myself at fake job interviews and pretending to talk in public so I could review and spot things to improve.

This job interview was very last minute. I do prepare and practice, And I guess this time around it was not enough but i also didn’t know what to prepare for because the job was too lacking in description.

Did you have a overly critical parent?

Not really. I just want my parents not to be disappointed in me. They have a lot to be disappointed in me with.

Do you feel your self-worth is being questioned?

Yes. I feel like I am not good enough. I should really take it like they miss out on someone who is great at their job. Even this current temp job i keep being told how well its going and that I am making a huge difference in the knowing that the classes are being well taught and back on track after having a (really bad) substitute But instead of taking THAT from being told today, I am focusing on the negative again. I dont enjoy it and I dont really understand why i cant just brush it off and get on with the next stuff.=( In this job Rejection, it is really not a big deal. Yet my brain is processing it all at every angle.

 

[Aspychata]

Maybe it gets down to changing your inner dialog.

When your brain retorts to, see, look at that. Rejected. It's true l am worthless, or whatever actual words your brain poop tells you, the loop that starts again.

You have to say, l was rejected, apparently l don't quite fit the mode or company vision that they represent. There must be a better company for me out there. So maybe they did me a favor.

I find that usually something better comes up that l like way more then the job interview l flunked. Also when l apply for jobs, l come off as this is a okay interview no matter if l get hired or not. Believe me when l say rejection really starts after 45 years-old when younger hiring managers think you couldn't fart yourself out of an excel spreadsheet if your life depended on it. (Potty humor, l know l have no class). I actually apply for jobs that l may not get hired at just to stay sharp on interviewing skills. Sometimes l am surprised when l do get hired. The other inner dialog you should play is l have held a job and l was pretty great at it, or l gained a lot of experience. So l am a valuable employee.

So please change that inner dialog. Writers deal with zillions of rejections when submitting their work. Comedians also deal with a lot of rejection because their humor bombs, in fact a lot of successful comedians use their rejection and failures as a money making opportunity and we all laugh at their jokes because we all have those insecurities just like you.

 

[Forest Cat]

Yes, I have something similar and this always hurts me as soon as I read it, like Ihave a stabbing pain of dread. Having no job fills me with anxiety, I like working. I enjoy working (except the social elements with colleagues). I become depressed if I have no purpose (as example for since July to Oktober).

We have a saying here, some people work to live, others live to work. I'm one of those who work to live, I can do fine with not working. But only if I have something else to focus on. An interest or a hobby or something. Remember that life isn't really about working, that's something we do to earn money so we can survive. I just think it's important to remember that and not get too attached to work and have other, more meaningful things in your life too. If that makes sense. I understand we have to work of course, I just think it's important to stop and smell the roses once in a while, to remember that work shouldn't really be the purpose of life.

 

[Owliet]

We have a saying here, some people work to live, others live to work. I'm one of those who work to live, I can do fine with not working. But only if I have something else to focus on. An interest or a hobby or something. Remember that life isn't really about working, that's something we do to earn money so we can survive. I just think it's important to remember that and not get too attached to work and have other, more meaningful things in your life too. If that makes sense. I understand we have to work of course, I just think it's important to stop and smell the roses once in a while, to remember that work shouldn't really be the purpose of life.

We have a similar saying too. As you know, I have been terribly depressed since the job ended, and I have talked about how difficult it has been to find something to do when I am not working. Despite having hobbies, and it did save me from the depression, its the only reason why I recovered, I do get more of a self worth by feeling like I have achieved something more worthwhile by working. But I do understand. I just have to change to this idea. It is a little weird that it is even before having a job, like the interview and the application process is something that I seem to put all my hopes in to but it could end up like my previous job with the negative experience and I dont want to go back to zero again.

 

[Judge]

It doesn't help that society in general promotes one's identity with whatever they do for a living. Which to me remains a preposterous notion in which society tragically continues to program into our hearts and minds.

 

[Forest Cat]

We have a similar saying too. As you know, I have been terribly depressed since the job ended, and I have talked about how difficult it has been to find something to do when I am not working. Despite having hobbies, and it did save me from the depression, its the only reason why I recovered, I do get more of a self worth by feeling like I have achieved something more worthwhile by working. But I do understand. I just have to change to this idea. It is a little weird that it is even before having a job, like the interview and the application process is something that I seem to put all my hopes in to but it could end up like my previous job with the negative experience and I dont want to go back to zero again.

I understand that work is important for you. And there's nothing wrong with that of course. The important thing is that you are happy, however you achieve that. That's the goal in life I think, being happy.

Best of luck with work and everything, remember that being happy is the important thing. And being rejected from a job is not a huge deal if we look at the big picture, it will be ok.

 

[Owliet]

It doesn't help that society in general promotes one's identity with whatever they do for a living. Which to me remains a preposterous notion in which society tragically continues to program into our hearts and minds.

I suppose that also explains why i have this fear that if I dont have a job then I am worthless…

 

[Owliet]

And being rejected from a job is not a huge deal if we look at the big picture, it will be ok.

Yes, I need to start looking at it like that.=)

 

[Judge]

I suppose that also explains why i have this fear that if I dont have a job then I am worthless…

Those societies which promote the "Protestant Work Ethic" don't help either. Another tragic method of society reinforcing a value that you are what you do for a living. With absurd religious overtones thrown in for good measure.

And perhaps above all else, are so many boards of directors and shareholders depending on everyone to buy into this school of thought to keep a healthy bottom line. For them- not for you. Not surprising this parallels so many alleged standards of beauty. Which are mostly based on a profit motive of the cosmetic and modeling industries. Not to aesthetically enhance society, but to enhance one's wealth.

In essence, implying one is exclusively defined by what they do remains a bankrupt concept. Despite given so much wealth that a notion is designed to accrue for so few.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Rejection for jobs is pretty much a given. Sure , l am sad when l didn't make the grade but it's a very subjective process decided by paper pushers who sometimes have no skills at picking productive workers. ND bosses usually pick up on my ND, and l usually get hired. I usually fail over half of NT interviews however l don't go into overthinking it. Because our style of communication is different.

You can lose out on job interviews because the interviewer just doesn't personally like you. I do better with a male interviewing me then a female about 3/4 of the time. I also do much better with an older person who is hiring then a younger one. So there are a lot of parameters going on.

One thing l noticed, is if you can make a connection with them, like you both like dogs, or have the same understanding on customer service, the success rate is better.

Sorry to read you feel so defeated by the process.

And don't forget body language.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I've got rejected for some many jobs in the past it is not funny, before I even knew I was an Aspie, now looking back it is obvious the problem was them even for jobs I was very qualified for. Once I got experience, they could not overlook and I got confidence to tell them what I could do for them, landing jobs became easy they found out fast what I stated during the interview was not hyperbole. We are different do not be scared to let them know. Our strengths are our advantage.

 

[Owliet]

And don't forget body language.

I thought mine was okay, but maybe there are some more things that I have to hold onto during these things — I think in job I am not that bad but considering that this interview was after work, after doing a few things — maybe i pushed it and should not have done it when I was feeling tired.