Hello Everyone,
I have no intention of ever becoming officially diagnosed. The absolute last thing I want is to be discriminated against, especially in the work force. Besides, I don't feel I am "fixable". A psychologist may be able to tell me how to function better in a social situation, but that is just another set of "canned responses"...it would never be who I really am. But I am interested in talking to more people with Asperger's and discovering more about myself and understanding how other people cope.
Thanks for reading.
Amy
First of all, welcome!
This last paragraph kind of struck me as typical of someone who doesn't fully understand what autism is,...and I don't mean this in any derogatory way,...a lot of people within the community still haven't done their research. If they did, then I think they would have a fuller understanding and not have these sort of thoughts you are expressing.
Autism is a result of brain development starting at the earliest stages of fetal development through early childhood,...and then slows down significantly as we age. It is anatomical and functional. A trained radiologist and neurologist can see these things on MRI scans. The resultant behavior is not a so-called psychological disorder,...it is a result of brain development. The autistic brain is characterized by areas of abnormal brain cell migration, abnormal brain cell structure, and abnormal brain cell "pruning" during early childhood, as well as, areas of hyper/hypo conductivity (voltage) and hyper/hypo connectivity (wires). There are many variants of autism resulting in different brain anatomy and function, some are clearly genetic in nature, some are a result of the maternal hormonal milieu, and some appear to be some combination. Every autistic person is different,...there is far more neurodiversity within the autistic community than the so-called neurotypical community.
Having said that, we would never marginalize someone with heart, lung, or kidney disease. We would not marginalize someone with obvious congenital abnormalities. The issue is that autism, and especially the milder forms like Asperger's condition, is considered "invisible". So when our behavior appears somewhat "odd", we tend to be marginalized,...which does wonders for our self-esteem (sarcasm).
So,...depending on your inner circle,...family, friends, co-workers, etc....you have to pick and choose to whom you wish to confide in and come out to. Now, for me, personally, I work within a busy hospital and am an educator,...a different class of people for the most part. Professionally, I feel I must divulge my diagnosis in order to get out in front of any judgements against me. In other words, if others are judging you based upon neurotypical norms, and they don't know you are actually autistic, it can be a set up for a lot of misunderstandings, emotions, and headache in your life. On the other hand, I do have potentially toxic people in my life that frankly, I don't associate with often enough to even bring it up.
I could go on and on here, but what I want you to take away from this is: (1). Autism is anatomical and functional,...the behavior is secondary, it is not a psychological issue,...some things cannot be "fixed". All you can do is take care of yourself and manage symptoms. (2). Masking ourselves, or creating a persona of so-called neurotypical or normal behavior is nothing more than acting. It is fake. It is mentally exhausting. It can affect a person's self-esteem to the point they may feel they are not good enough for society,...no good can come of this. Suicide within our community is a serious issue. Many autistics are not good enough at masking to pass for neurotypical,...we will always be perceived as somehow "odd". You have to be emotionally mature enough and have a thick skin to overcome this desire to be like everyone else. You are not. Let that go. An apple is not an orange no matter how hard the apple tries. Be yourself and hold your head up high. If certain people need to know you are autistic,...fine,...don't hold back. If certain people don't need to know,...they don't need to know.
