Lately I wonder if feminism is needed or not.

[dark cloud]

Since i was young i had an inferiority complex because i was born a girl. I know i shouldn't but it's a bit difficult for a girl to not have an inferiority complex compared to boys and men if in school all the important humans in history she learns about are men or at least the majority are men etc. At least in my country (i live in europe)

I try by reading (opinions of some people online) to figure out if patriarchy really exist.
I recently read that feminism was created for no reason by two misandrists women. I felt weird.

Some people think that women are on top now and always were. In my opinion this is something really strange to believe provided that the majority of people in authority back then and now are men.
Some people think toxic masculinity it's a myth and yet many women have a story to tell about toxic masculinity who hurt them. Does that mean all these women are suddenly crazy and dramatic or lying?

The way i understand patriarchy makes sense and i will explain.
Patriarchy doesn't mean that men have easy lifes and no struggles compared to women. Of course they have struggles! Patriarchy system wants specific roles for men and women which it requires them to follow and hurt both of them and if they don't want to follow those roles they're struggle and if they follow those roles perfectly they admired by others.
The difference is the role that a woman have to follow is more confined.

There's still people who believe now in 21 century that woman is the weak sex and her more valuable role is to become a wife and a mother. Any woman who don't want this role get blamed.
Some people really underestimate women.
They blame women for almost everything out of insecurities. They get annoyed by women's sexual freedom and power but at the same time men enjoy these without anyone stigmatize them. Some men complain that they have a hard time to have sex or relationship (and they blame women for it). I don't know if it's just me but seriously?

They can go whenever they want to have sex with sex workers women-men and even underage girls and boys to make their (if they have) pervert fantasies come true without shame or guilt. There is pornography for them to watch whatever they like. They learn their sexual desires are important and have the freedom to express them.
They can have many sexual partners if they want or takes part in orgies and threesomes and never be called a whore or a slut. They can sexualize themselves and society normalized it so much that we might don't even realize it sometimes (i mean they can sexualise, capitalized their bodies without stigma). They can go around in public without a shirt and nobody ever tells them ''what are you doing? put a shirt on, you want to get raped by a woman?'' or ''don't complain if women view or treat you like a piece of meat now''.
I believe they can have orgasms easily compared to women.

They can do all these stuff while women even though they can do these stuff as well they stigmatized and might its difficult for them to have orgasm. And men are the ones who complain? As for relationships they can take care themselves and have a normal character (not be a jerk) and they can have a partner.

I don't know how many people with this mentality exist but if they are many of them i believe feminism is needed.
Recently i was called feminazi just because i said men and women are equal, different but equal.
Do i have to be a feminist for saying the obvious stuff? I can't understand.

I really want to have a reasonable objective opinion to this but i realized it's not black and white unfortunately and this is driven me crazy.

But in another hand i really don't want be viewed as the weak sex just because i'm female that the most valuable thing she can offer in this world is children because it's not something i want.

And at the same time i tend to gaslighting myself and i hate it. I think the anti-feminists people might they're right feminism isn't need it anymore. Maybe feminists are overreacting and want payback and superiority. And what anti-feminsists believe? that we are already equal or that women should stay home raising children and be good, obedient wifes?

If men and women are really equal that means if a woman want to work in a job or anything which we think is male-dominate she won't confront understatement or sexual harassment, right?

Are we really still need feminism or is my confusion and my inferiority complex speaking and all feminists are suddenly hypocriticals and liars who speak about situations that don't exist anymore?

What's your opinion?

 

[Billthecat]

Figlia mia, le strade della vita sono piene di rifiuti organici, ma tu vuoi proprio andare dove portano I cani.... e con le scarpe bianche

 

[dark cloud]

Figlia mia, le strade della vita sono piene di rifiuti organici, ma tu vuoi proprio andare dove portano I cani.... e con le scarpe bianche

Is this Italian? I saw what it meant on google translate but i didn't understand so good. What do you mean? If you answer, answer me in English please.

 

[Billthecat]

Too tired now

 

[Shevek]

My mother had a pre-nup in 1945, and was going to VOW meetings when I was in diapers. Since my sister's feelings had to be respected, and I was not expected to have any, I was all in favour of gender equality. Eventually, I was the first man invited when a feminist action and support group decided to go co-ed. Alas, the women got the support, and the men were on permanent probation. When someone spread malicious gossip, I had no support and had to leave the area.
I was surprised that anyone would believe some lies, but have learned that memories are not like books or tapes. Every time they are "read" they can be altered, and sometimes wind up very distorted indeed, especially when mixed with false suspicions, etc.
Regarding feminism, I noticed that it has never stopped at equality, nor respected male problems. I think it is rooted in a very one-sided view of human society for most of history. Looking back, we only see the big buildings, not the houses, and we hear about big battles, etc, but not about daily life. The history is about the patriarchy, but women had just as much power, concentrated in home-size matriarchies.

Gender roles were as strict as guilds, and it took the skills of a couple to raise a family. The wife was responsible for a garden that not only fed the family year-round, but also produced fiber to be spun and woven into their clothes. She had to manage with wood heat and water buckets, and also conduct a home school. The husband had to hustle to keep the house safe, the wood in, the taxes paid, and provide other essentials. Later, it was never unusual for a man to simply turn over his paycheque to his wife, when one was enough.

Within her home, a wife gets to dictate what is true. No adult will question her stories about Santa Claus or the Bogie Man, because she is dealing with small, developing minds that can't handle too much. She also gets to designate a father for her children to get support, while lying about 10% of the time. This is the magic number that pushed our evolution. It is low enough to keep fathers involved, and high enough to reduce inbreeding and conserve the genes of men good for the community, but not a family, such as traders, troubadours, and heroes. It also is the best deal available for sterile men who like kids.

The Industrial Revolution upset all the old job descriptions and many gender roles, but I see a lot of problems from women's inborn sense of being right in their own homes being taken out into the commons.

 

[dark cloud]

Too tired now

It's okay you can explain whenever you like. And if you don't want it's okay too.

 

[Fino]

I believe that the primary proposition of feminism is, as you said, that men and women are equal. I think feminism in that form will always be needed. I don't think there will ever be a time where the majority of society agrees that it's now equal. I don't think sexual harassment can be stopped completely. From what I hear, sexual desire is overwhelmingly strong sometimes (I'm asexual). I would never expect a significant portion of society to behave civilly and resist temptation. That's far too much to ask of the average man, and so the imbalance continues in perpetuity.

 

[Progster]

I really resent gender roles. Society and culture shouldn't be dictating how a person should be and what they they should do with their lives according to their gender; that should be up to each individual according to his or her circumstances - though there are some biological limitations to this such as childbirth.

(Edited for clarification)

 

[Shevek]

I believe that the primary proposition of feminism is, as you said, that men and women are equal. I think feminism in that form will always be needed. I don't think there will ever be a time where the majority of society agrees that it's now equal. I don't think sexual harassment can be stopped completely. From what I hear, sexual desire is overwhelmingly strong sometimes (I'm asexual). I would never expect a significant portion of society to behave civilly and resist temptation. That's far too much to ask of the average man, and so the imbalance continues in perpetuity.

Equal rights do not produce equal abilities and motivations. What we need is to recognize our differences, and seek parity in win-win relationships. Sociobiology made a fine start at an inventory of our natural symbiosis, until it was shouted down for not matching feminist dogma. The whole nature vs nurture debate was cancelled, pretending that humans are uniquely lacking in instincts.
One very basic difference we evolved with is that women always know who their children are, but men can be fooled. You have twice as many female ancestors as males, because some men had many children, and many men had none. A man's investment in starting a baby is trivial, so he is inclined to spread his seed, while a woman has a huge biological investment and significant personal risk. She gets to choose the best genes, and the best provider for hers. She is also more likely to feel incomplete without children, and can be quite willing to manipulate men to get them.
Because a mother is essential to an infant in nature, the men are disposable. Even the rich men on the Titanic saved most of the women. Men are strongly inhibited from striking women, and heavily punished if they slip even in defending themselves. When guns became "the great equalizer" between large and small men, women did not take them up, feeling naturally invulnerable. Now, they almost own the Police and courts in Canada and other countries. A third of the men paying child support are actually cuckolds, legally enslaved.

 

[Shevek]

I really resent gender roles. Society and culture shouldn't be dictating how a person should be and what they they should do with their lives, that should be up to each individual according to his or her circumstances - though there are some biological limitations to this such as childbirth.

Humans have always worked in unisex groups. We needed to shuffle occupations completely in the Industrial Revolution, but I think that having half of the jobs available should be plenty of selection for anyone. Both genders treat the other harshly if they are a small minority in their profession.
Mixed groups distract each other, and have to put extra effort into managing around romantic concerns. BC Ferries lost a boat and two lives when a mixed watch crew with a history of mutual distraction hit a rock. People with an outstanding ability for the "other's" profession have always found ways through. Marie Curie was a fine scientist, but her presence caused a divorce. The disturbance has to be worth it.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Some aspects of feminism are excessive, but others, I'm thankful for. Like voting, driving, working, women's health care, etc.

I hate the "Man-hating" side of feminism. I really do. I'm just gonna say it. I am not a victim. I am a survivor. And I celebrate the differences and similarities of the genders.

I think it's neat that women can work in any field. I think it's neat that women have choices other than just getting married after high school. We are stronger than anyone in past generations could have guessed.

And it's important that nowadays, if a woman is assaulted, it isn't assumed to be her fault. Abusers and creeps are finally taken seriously, for the losers they are, and crime survivors are listened to.

We can do what ever we want, in the Western World, and that is a very free feeling. We still have a long way to go before we can truly feel and be safe in all situations though.

That being said, for myself, in my private home life, I am very traditional. My mother and her generation of women rejected everything that the women of our lineage had passed down. Needlework, childrearing, cooking, cleaning skills, home remedies, etc. And it was lost.

I remember my grandma teaching me little things, passing on her knowledge. But I was so young. And she got ill and passed away.

I tried asking my mom or other female relatives about these skills, and I was blown off. I was told that we live in the modern age, and women don't have to do that anymore. It's not "groovy".

But I wanted to learn.

I feel very natural in a domestic setting. I like helping out. I like the fiber arts, child development, gardening, and caring for my young and elderly loved ones. I like making a big meal for everyone. I like nurturing and helping.

There is another side of me, however. The girl raised feral in the desert, climbing rocks, catching snakes, mountain biking, and skinny dipping in the crick. I love cars, and driving. I always wanted to learn how to work on cars, but no one ever taught me. I really can't do very many repairs at all. But at least I was taught to drive on mountain roads at an early age. I was fishtailing on dirt roads and swerving around potholes at twelve or younger. It was great fun.

So there is a balance in every person, I think. I also believe, however, that there are inborn differences in the genders, that should be honored.

I prefer the nurturing, traditional side of womanhood, that was passed down from time immemorial. But I also have a very wild side, too. And it's nice that in the modern world, I can freely express that too.

And I'm just gonna say it. I love chivalry. Whenever a man opens a door for me, or gets something off a high shelf, or offers to drive me someplace because it's dark out, I feel protected and honored, as a woman. There are still gentlemen out there.

 

[Slime_Punk]

In today's world, I think feminism needs all the help it can get. I know there's technically a dark side to everything under the sun, but I don't think that should get in the way of fighting for a baseline of equality and human rights.

 

[Knower of nothing]

Feminism has only seen a modicum of success in a handful of facets of western culture and just about nowhere else. Take two steps across the globe and find women being treated like property and socially coerced into staying indoors and not going to school. Men and women are not equal, but there should be equity. Feminism is about a "should" statement because the reality in societies today still opposes it. And though people often think its exaggerated, it's genuinely largely the fault of male social behavior that brought about this situation in all these cultures. It is low standard of respect for others that is the culprit.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

The problem with discussing many topics like this is that people have a difficult time understanding perspective and context,...and as a result, will take some "kernel of truth", blow it up, out of proportion,...combine it with their rather narrow life experience, and come up with some "theory" or "personal truth",...that is often total BS within the greater view. It is a bit of a thinking skill to pause for a moment and try to understand where people's thoughts are coming from.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

It depends where you live Afghanistan, you could not survive if you were Female, without a feminist attitude.

 

[Progster]

but I think that having half of the jobs available should be plenty of selection for anyone. Both genders treat the other harshly if they are a small minority in their profession.

For me, it's about choice. If I'm a female who wants to be an airline pilot, a mechanic or a bricklayer, then I should have that choice. If I'm a male and want to be a florist, a secretary or a nurse, again, I should have that choice. I would very much resent being told that only half of all jobs are available to me because of my gender, or being told that I can't do a job that I know I'm physically and mentally capable of just because of my gender.

 

[Forest Cat]

We can look at Norway, Sweden and Denmark to see how things are when feminism is strong, it has been strong here since the 1970s. When I was in kindergarten in the 80s, young boys were taught feminism. And we can look at other places where feminism barely exists to see how that works out. All I know is that here in Norway women are free, as far as I know, no one is stopping them from doing anything. Politics, police, military, business, sports, women everywhere. And I pity the fool who tries to stop them. I like strong, independent Scandinavian women. And I have a sister so I have to say this or she will kick my butt.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

My sister worked as a geologist in northern Ontario for years, in charge of red neck male drilling crews. The only thing her current employer will not do is send here on a business trip to Saudi Arabia.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

I think that Feminism as equal rigths and oportunities is necessary, but should be renamed to make it clear that it want equal rigths and oportunities. We could include racial stuff, religion stuff and neurodivergence there to figth for equal rigths and oportunities for all people.

On the other hand, Feminism like on equal crimes we will punish men more than woman or we will protect more women than men... I dont like it. To me an abused person should be protected in the same way, no need to ask their gender.

 

[Forest Cat]

It depends where you live Afghanistan, you could not survive if you were Female, without a feminist attitude.

I think that sounds a little backwards, Taliban is ruling Afghanistan now. From what I have seen, you are more likely to get killed if you have a feminist attiude there. They don't exactly encourage women to be independent or anything like that.