I was amazed when I discovered what not everyone laughs at their thoughts or the imagination's product (in movies stamps it's only 'bad persons' do that - when they build their evil plans to hurt as many people as possible, unfortunately).
Also I can cry at something I think, I feel hurt and can cry as I analize the system of behaviour of some person (the hardest was discovery of my parents's actual behaviour) toward me - and realize them being systematically (not just by chance) abusing.
It's even weirder than me laughing - for people around.
I can think and analize and I can feel emotionally synchronously - that's why my inner world is so changing and captivating for me, why I prefer to spend a lot of lime alone and sort out my thoughts and emotions after time spent with other people or after receiving some information that changes my gained understanding of things.
Also I laugh at inappropriate times when I'm painfully tensed - laughing is the universal way of letting out the stress. As I tried to fit into companies I noticed that people often laugh not at the joyful things but on the stressful or shunned topics - they don't actually have fun, they let out the stress.
But I could not help myself but laugh (and I remembered funny events) on my mother's funeral. Granted - I did so along with my father (I think in fact I took after him in our family), but the churchgoers, my mother's friends, were appalled.
I was disturbed my my behaviour because I could not understand: WHY do I react this way and how can I change it?
I observed the situations and my reactions - I noticed that its my self-protection: I am really more deeply affective and sensitive than the most people - and I'm painfully overwhelmed by my thoughts and feelings on the matter, when other people manage to be innerly undisturbed.
I went into discussion with my psychologist - she insists that a person can only either feel, or think - but I panick if I can not sort in my mind the factors and get the whole picture: what's going on around me - and only after I become aware of my surroundings that my emotions become less intensive and I can sort them out.
Dad would read me a serious fiction story about a man trying to hunt down a giant worm, but all I thought about was the man and the worm becoming friends and living in a gigantic house together
I can't watch the most of movies or read the popular books because I loose my focus very quickly: I can't help my thoughts wandering and I can not follow the stated plot. I stopped suffering were I can and let myself to interrupt whatever activity I can not see the common sense or have no curiousity to go on.
I think it's that your parents read to you the books you did not felt intrested in that you don't like reading. Their fault - not yours, in my opinion.
I'm not good in accepting information through hearing (I prefer the multiple verification of incoming info: hearing, seeing, sensing) - so I was always strained whether I had to sit and listen some story the authoritive persons (my parents or kindergarten teachers) chose would be educative for the kids (with me among them).
I remember - like it was just yesterday - how my thoughts wandered about guessing of meaning the heard words I did not understand, I guessed about the plot as really strange and scary (from my own point of view), I felt boring and tensed because other children looked like they understood everything perfectly and I didn't.
I guessed I had to find out everything on my own, anyway, I was unsure of too many things and words' meanings to verbalise my questions to anyone.
