Little sister beat me up, really confused

[rob76]

Your ideal BMI weight is about 167. That weight would put you right in the middle of the green section of the chart I posted previously. According to world-class running coach Jack Daniels, elite runners should weigh about 15% less than their ideal BMI weight. That would put you at about 142 lbs, assuming you are an elite runner. If you're not world-class, the you should weigh more than 142. At 110 lbs, you are severely underweight, even for an elite runner. That explains why you are so weak and why your sister can pin you so easily. You simply do not have the muscle mass you need to carry your skeletal mass. I'm not trying to be critical here. I'm just stating facts. Your problems are much bigger than a bratty sister. You are putting your health at severe risk until you put on about 30-40 lbs.

Update: Once you put on the needed weight, the problem will take care of itself. You will weigh twice what your sister weighs and she will no longer be able to pin you.

I try to gain weight, I'm eating 4 meals a day but it never really works. We went on holiday last summer and we ate so much for 2 weeks. I lost 2 lbs at the end of it.

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

I try to gain weight, I'm eating 4 meals a day but it never really works. We went on holiday last summer and we ate so much for 2 weeks. I lost 2 lbs at the end of it.

Based on what you told us about your sister and family, your problem is not likely to go away until you gain that weight. It's probably time to get a physician and/or a nutritionist/dietitian involved.

 

[rob76]

Based on what you told us about your sister and family, your problem is not likely to go away until you gain that weight. It's probably time to get a physician and/or a nutritionist/dietitian involved.

Even if I do gain that weight in let's say, 6 months. Am I supposed to just be my sister's punching bag for 6 months? I just want her to stop.

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

Even if I do gain that weight in let's say, 6 months. Am I supposed to just be my sister's punching bag for 6 months? I just want her to stop.

Absolutely not. Can you lock your bedroom door and stay away from her?

 

[rob76]

Absolutely not. Can you lock your bedroom door and stay away from her?

I don't have a bedroom lock. I tried locking myself in the bathroom before, but she threatened to break my xbox if I didn't come out.

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

Do you have a job?

 

[Streetwise]

Girls can be strong, but they can't be strong when they've never worked out before, when they're 11 years old and when they weigh 70lbs. And no, she attacks me unprovoked.

She did it again today. I wanted to leave the room but she kept blocking my path, I tried pushing her out of the way and then she dragged me to the floor and wrapped her thighs around my neck this time until I submitted. When she let go, I stood up and tried leaving again. Then she did the exact same thing. She made me submit 4 separate times with her thighs squeezing my neck until I was too dizzy to stand up.

She said she would stop if I agreed to do all of her homework from now on. I said okay. I feel like a complete loser. I spent like 2 hours doing her Christmas homework.

The mind can give incredible strength( to prove that I can work even though I am extremely weak because of panic attacks),you have got to tell your parents they are legally responsible for her ,just think she could assault somebody else.
an example think of a venomous spider which is very small but can kill a very large animal or a human.
I was a strong girl at her age -I didn't assault people but I was strong ,she needs help she can't rely on physical strength for the rest of her life, I have learnt that.

 

[rob76]

Do you have a job?

No, I'm a recent graduate. I'm more of an education person than a job person

 

[rob76]

I'm starting to think that I should just sneak up on her and fight her? No punching because of her age, but something to send a message. I'm getting pretty desperate, the bullying keeps getting worse.

 

[Progster]

I can barely tell strangers on the internet about it, I would be way too embarrassed to tell my parents. I don't want them thinking less of me. My dad values strength.

I guess that's a possibility.

I think that in this case, you need to swallow your pride and tell them. Perhaps tell your mum, not your dad. Or someone that she respects, regards as an authority figure and is going to listen to. If your parents are protective as they say, and want you to live with them, then they also need to listen to you and deal with this issue.

 

[Major Tom]

I am really sorry this is happening to you. Nobody should be treated that way.. I'm guessing she scares the bejesus out of you, and its making you lose your strength. I have no real suggestions, other than you should at least tell your parents about it. If you are going to do her homework don't give her straight As' make her fail, she seems to need a taste of failure in her life.. Sounds like a wicked little beast..

 

[onlything]

I'm saying if I'm malnourished, then she's even more malnourished. Her BMI was actually lower than mine. I have more muscle than her and she's a female child. This doesn't explain anything.

I understand your point. Do you feel it is fully physical weakness or could it be mental one? Is something blocking you against retaliating against your little sister? Be it sentiment or fear? Or maybe just your nature. You seem like a gentle person and there's nothing wrong with it. I personally prefer these kind of people. However, nice and gentle people tend to be used if they do not fight back.

Anyways, it can't go on like this. You need to either let someone know or fight back. She's not stronger than you, she's put you into submission. Ever heard about how small elephants were tied to a pall? When they grew up, they didn't try fighting back even if it would be easy with their bigger strength. I don't want to assume anything about you but it may be something like this. You're scared, maybe used to her getting away with everything, so you stopped fighting altogether?

If no one wants to help you, you need to help yourself. If you feel you're not strong enough (which I'm sure is not true), use something she doesn't expect, even a pepper spray. Put her in her place or she'll proceed with worse things and turn your life into a nightmare. Waiting won't give you anything.

Eventually, confront your parents and tell them that if they don't reign her in, you're going to leave the house seeing as you're not going to live with a future criminal(this is, after all, what she seems to be growing into).

You need to do something. It starts with homework and forcing some submission and goes further down the lane. It will get worse if you don't do something and I tell it from experience. Fight back.

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

So let me get this straight, because I'm starting to think I fell down the rabbit hole: Here's a male adult who claims he is in an intolerable situation, yet he has no money, no job and no intention of getting a job — so his proposed solution is to assault a female child? And others on this forum are encouraging this male adult to assault this female child? That's utterly ridiculous. The only outcome to doing that would be jail time.

Here's a much better solution: man up, get a job and move out of there.

 

[watersprite]

Good Point @Beguiling Orbit (except not all of the responses are suggesting assault). This OP seems to be one of the people who come to a forum on the internet when what he should seek out is a real life intervention by professionals and maybe even legal assistance.
I don't think the OP is, unfortunately, capaable at this point in time of the sort of leap unto action you're proposing.

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

I don't think the OP is, unfortunately, capaable at this point in time of the sort of leap unto action you're proposing.

Maybe not, but he always has a choice. Someone will not stay in a situation that he/she considers to be intolerable. By definition, staying in a situation is tolerating it. Once the OP finds it intolerable, he will make that leap.

 

[OlLiE]

tell your parents, what's going on, that it is unacceptable, that you don't react because you don't want to hurt her, that they need to do their job and raise the brat, if they don't act, that you will not allow that behaviour to continue

there's a pressure point on the earlobe, if you press hard on an earlobe it's supposed to really hurt

you can research pain/pressure points that don't require strength, generated pain quickly, but do not harm

grab her by the back of her pants, pick her up, take her to your parents, ask them if they wouldn't mind teaching their brat some manners and actually do their job

by the way how can you be weak as a cross country runner?
i always thought your guys were lean but mean with a huge amount of resilience

 

[rob76]

Update: She cornered me and I kept telling myself to fight back so I tried punching her (I panicked, I shouldn't have tried punching) but it only grazed her. She punched me in the stomach and I fell to the ground winded. She choked my neck with her legs again, but when I submitted she wouldn't let go. I passed out.

I've never passed out before, I thought I was going to die. I'm looking at hostels that I can go to because I can't be near her anymore.

 

[rob76]

I am really sorry this is happening to you. Nobody should be treated that way.. I'm guessing she scares the bejesus out of you, and its making you lose your strength. I have no real suggestions, other than you should at least tell your parents about it. If you are going to do her homework don't give her straight As' make her fail, she seems to need a taste of failure in her life.. Sounds like a wicked little beast..

She said "she expects 100% marks", I don't think it would end well for me if I failed the homework.

 

[Bella Pines]

Your original question was 'how is she able to do this?'.

She is able to do this because you are a good person and deep down, don't want to hurt her. If this same situation occurred in a dark alley with a mugger then you would be far more motivated to lash out. So the fact that you haven't hurt your sister is a good thing. You need to stop obsessing about BMI and muscle tone and look outside yourself to the real problem.

Several posts have pointed out that this is classic bullying. You need to stop putting yourself down, looking for flaws with yourself and find the inner strength that you have, the inner strength that has so far stopped you from hurting your sister. Then please please please reach out for help. I understand why you are reluctant to talk to your parents, they must suspect what is going on and clearly are reluctant to face the problem. But still give them a chance and talk to them privately, if they are too weak to act then talk to someone at school. A counseller or teacher. Turn our good wishes into strength.