Long term clincal depression

[china autie]

I hate that part of things too.

 

[Markness]

I hate that part of things too.

It's the worst thing in the world. I see couples pass me by every day and I feel like a loser. I can't even get a simple coffee date. I sometimes wish I killed myself back when I was 17 and the depression started kicking in.

 

[china autie]

Some guys don't marry until their late thirties or early forties.

Colleges do have cliques. The open-mindedness is probably more related to academics. Sigh.

I am glad you are still here.
I can tell you from recent personal experience that being alone is far better than being with the wrong someone as I was.

There is so much emphasis on being a couple that somehow if we are single we are supposed to be incomplete.
Yet that simply is not true.

We are complete and whole. Getting a lover won't fix that if we don't feel that on our own.

 

[Markness]

I've suffered from clinical depression (Specifically dysthymia) since I was 17 (I am 30 now) and it's caused me to live a very unhappy and hopeless existence. I've tried various medications and have had different therapists throughout the years I've struggled but I keep going through the dayd feeling unhappy, hopeless, helpless, and sometimes suicidal. I want to get better but my mind tells me it's impossible and I am going to suffer until I die.

 

[BraidedPony]

I have chronic depression and have to take an antidepressant. Thank goodness they work on me. Just 20mg Prozac makes a world of difference and has kept me alive.
Have you tried Cymbalta? It’s a little different than regular SSRIs.
Keep trying, don’t give up.

 

[Markness]

I think I've tried Cymbalta before. Does it contain the little pellets inside of it?

I used to take Prozac but it started to jangle my nerves and I had to stop.

I tried Wellbutrin for a while but it didn't really help with anything.

 

[BraidedPony]

Yes, Cymbalta has those darn pellets. I say darn because it makes it hard to taper off because the caps can’t be split.
Prozac can “give me energy” aka nervousness whereas Zoloft did not. With Zoloft I could take a nap during the day and still sleep well at night. Zoloft is my second favorite antidepressant.

 

[Gracey]

It’s pants isn’t it ?
The overwhelming feeling of helplessness and hopelessness.

When you’re in the moment it’s really easy to generalise that you’ll never be happy again,

But having experienced it on and off since you were 17, your success rate at getting through it is at 100%

I’ve often thought depression is one of those things you can’t hurry.

The spiral downwards creeps in slowly, self care, meds and self help happens in slow time,
As does the gentle rise upwards again.
Non of it can be rushed or forced.

I think there was a study done to show those experiencing depression pay less attention to detail,

Perhaps that’s how it’s easier to generalise ?
Brainwashing the self with messages like,

“I’ll never be happy again” or
“I’ll never enjoy anything again”


It is rotten when you’re in the hold of depression.
(But it does and will pass)
Try to be kinder to and look after yourself while you’re low.

 

[Mary Lyn]

depression is sometimes or even often, biochemical and can be fixed through biohacking. Plenty of online resources

 

[Ginseng]

Have you ever had any, even one manic episodes? Also, have you tried seeing a psychiatrist to prescribe you some meds for medication resistant depression? They actually might can help you where your regular doctor is limited in what he can prescribe.

 

[Nauti]

SAMe is a non addictive, but often very effective and more healthy alternative to anti depressants. It has worked for me and other's I know.

There is a lot to really recovering, I have found though. It requires working on your self talk, as in behavioural cognitive therapy, building self compassion, allowing yourself genuine grief expression for losses and traumas, learning to love yourself with acceptance and self care and finding out what you are really passionate about and finding a way to honour that and take action.

Are you doing what you can or are you giving in to fear, resistance and inertia and making excuses?

Any way that we cop out usually results to an erosion or lack of building self esteem, and, developing healthy self esteem is essential to truly overcoming depression, I have found.

It requires both internal and physical action and constant small changes and sometimes big lifestyle changes, depending on your situation .

Good luck! You deserve wellbeing and positive feelings as much as anyone!

Don't buy into thinking negatively about yourself, challenge and correct your thoughts if and when you undermine or defeat yourself with your thoughts.

You can do this!!!!

We are here and support you in your efforts, many, many, many of us have been there or are still in the same boat, simply opening up and communicating, as you've done here, can make a big difference in how you feel about yourself, so well done for making a great move with sharing how you are struggling!

Dietary changes can also make a difference, are you eating healthily? Keto diet or looking into foods to combat depression and adding more of them to your diet can really help, too.

 

[Fino]

When I started taking medication at 16, all of them were like sugar pills. I was on a very high dose of lithium and prozac first and suddenly stopped taking it. No effects from stopping. I was on and off a dozen medications over about 6 years and none of them did anything.

I stopped taking medication, experimented for 3-4 years with other, non-prescription drugs, then returned to a psychiatrist after those years, stopping those drugs.

And every medication prescribed then had an immediate, dramatic effect. Much better!

I'm not saying to do that, I'm just saying what happened.

Brains are weird.

 

[Monachopia]

I've had dysthymia for most of my life and unfortunately have found that no medication or therapy seems to do the trick. I sympathise with you. It does seem like mild depression is just the "normal" with dips into horrible depression two to three times a year.
I had similar thoughts that this is just how it will always be and there is no escape... I guess, maybe more recently I've found peace with it. It's just a different baseline to what others around me seem to experience, but that doesn't mean I can't try to find glimmers of comfort in the darkness. Even if things don't seem to make me happy for long - it's enough to carry over until I find something else. Distraction in music, art, nature helps too. Sometimes it does take effort to get interested in things, but perseverance is worth it.

 

[Markness]

I've had dysthymia for most of my life and unfortunately have found that no medication or therapy seems to do the trick. I sympathise with you. It does seem like mild depression is just the "normal" with dips into horrible depression two to three times a year.
I had similar thoughts that this is just how it will always be and there is no escape... I guess, maybe more recently I've found peace with it. It's just a different baseline to what others around me seem to experience, but that doesn't mean I can't try to find glimmers of comfort in the darkness. Even if things don't seem to make me happy for long - it's enough to carry over until I find something else. Distraction in music, art, nature helps too. Sometimes it does take effort to get interested in things, but perseverance is worth it.

I find music and art to be more depressing than distracting. I'll try playing the guitar but I'll wonder why I am not in a band, why can't I write my own songs, and why can't I do things like guitar solos. When it comes to comic books and manga, I'll wonder why can't I draw as good as the artists can and the amount of preparation is daunting to me.

 

[Gracey]

You may be able to do any or all of the things you wrote about,

but I think you’re missing a part of the process out,

Picking up a guitar and then expecting to be in a band misses out the middle part of the process.

The learning chords and tabs and months/years of practice to get up to the standard acceptable for a band.

Same with the comics and Manga.

 

[Monachopia]

I find music and art to be more depressing than distracting. I'll try playing the guitar but I'll wonder why I am not in a band, why can't I write my own songs, and why can't I do things like guitar solos. When it comes to comic books and manga, I'll wonder why can't I draw as good as the artists can and the amount of preparation is daunting to me.

It's very easy to focus on the "I can't do X" ... trust me, I know. All those thoughts are going through my head constantly. So I try to find the one "I can" in the sea of the negative. Drawing takes a lot of patience and practice, I'm learning to draw more seriously since January. It takes a lot of effort and a lot of the times I do give up in the middle of a drawing because it's not going as well as I thought it should. It's not as good as what others can do. But, the important thing is *trying*. With every drawing you'll get better. Just draw one thing a day and maybe at the end of the month or in a few months time, go back to your first and you'll see an improvement. Do some manga/comics studies. Remember, the artists you admire have years and years of trial and error to reach the point where they are now. Same with musicians.

I do hear you, I'm a little impatient, I want to be GOOD at the thing NOW and it's daunting to think of the time it'll take to get where I want to be. Setting little goals helps. Mastering a chord. Mastering how to draw an eye. Then you set the next little goal - master two chords and be able to switch between them seamlessly. Draw two eyes and maybe even a nose. Little steps will take you to where you want to get to eventually.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I am Prozac 40mg but it might be enough. I have been very depressed for weeks wishing I was never born "not suicidal" big difference don't mix them up. I also lost 25lbs down to 305lbs from over 325lbs I am not as hungry feel hungry but don't want to eat much. I also walked to my therapist today and back no back pain. Walked fast with no back pain. Grin on my face listening to smooth jazz ‎Bloom by Cindy Bradley and later this great album walking home.
‎Rhythm Nation 1814 by Janet Jackson

Of course my music and TV
Watch Married... With Children Streaming Online | Hulu (Free Trial)
Amazon.com: Watch Hawaii Five-O (Classic) Season 5 | Prime Video
is keeping me content.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I find music and art to be more depressing than distracting. I'll try playing the guitar but I'll wonder why I am not in a band, why can't I write my own songs, and why can't I do things like guitar solos. When it comes to comic books and manga, I'll wonder why can't I draw as good as the artists can and the amount of preparation is daunting to me.

That's your mistake I tried to learn the piano various times and it was a complete failure. Just enjoy listening to the music don't worry how it is played.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Kill what's killing you. Radically change your life and eliminate all that makes you miserable. It's the only way.

Not easy for an Aspie to eliminate what makes you miserable when the miserable is everywhere.

 

[Monachopia]

It's easier said than done @Raisedbywolves. Some people have a chemical imbalance in their brains that makes it much harder to change things - and even if those things are changed, depression doesn't lift. It takes more than that to alter the mindset. I know this from personal experience so your suggestion while I know is coming from a good place, is not necessarily the most practical.