Losing all interest

[keebles]

I have the "core" obsessions that haven't changed my entire life...Disney, Duran Duran, cross stitching, but everything else comes and goes pretty fast. I can be so obsessed with something that I almost can't breathe if I'm away from it for an hour, but a few weeks later, I'm done. There are times when I do go back to previous obsessions, but the second or third round typically doesn't last as long as the first. The core three has their ebbs and flows too, but they are always there and don't tend to affect me as strongly as the "newbies".

I'm the same way with people, FYI...besties for like five minutes, and then I'm done. The only exception to this rule has been my online friends for some reason. Maybe it has to do with people in my face or my space.

I do find that, when I'm in a serious obsessive phase, I tend to be more depressive because I can't be doing my obsession 24/7. With the core three, the only time I'm depressed by them is what I call "post Disney depression" which is after a Disney trip and I'm back in the "real" world and I'm not spending an entire year planning a trip or actually being on a trip. I can't say that Duran Duran or cross stitching puts me in a depression much. A lot of the time, when I'm really in a bad mood, I will play Duran Duran's Serious over and over on constant repeat, sometimes for days or weeks (drives my co-workers nuts) until I start feeling better. I also tend to stitch every single waking hour at home and clock more stitching hours than working hours in a week (I average about 50 working hours per week, so that's saying something).

I can probably add secondary cores of Astronomy and Take That to the bunch because I have been obsessed with them for at least 10+ years now so they made it through the short period. They aren't as strong as the big three (or holy trinity as I like to call them), but strong enough that I've decided to go back to school to study Astronomy and I tend to play Take That constantly unless I'm in a bad mood (although I have never seen TT live and I've been to dozens of DD shows).

 

[2205]

I have the "core" obsessions that haven't changed my entire life...Disney, Duran Duran, cross stitching, but everything else comes and goes pretty fast. I can be so obsessed with something that I almost can't breathe if I'm away from it for an hour, but a few weeks later, I'm done. There are times when I do go back to previous obsessions, but the second or third round typically doesn't last as long as the first. The core three has their ebbs and flows too, but they are always there and don't tend to affect me as strongly as the "newbies".

I'm the same way with people, FYI...besties for like five minutes, and then I'm done. The only exception to this rule has been my online friends for some reason. Maybe it has to do with people in my face or my space.

I do find that, when I'm in a serious obsessive phase, I tend to be more depressive because I can't be doing my obsession 24/7. With the core three, the only time I'm depressed by them is what I call "post Disney depression" which is after a Disney trip and I'm back in the "real" world and I'm not spending an entire year planning a trip or actually being on a trip. I can't say that Duran Duran or cross stitching puts me in a depression much. A lot of the time, when I'm really in a bad mood, I will play Duran Duran's Serious over and over on constant repeat, sometimes for days or weeks (drives my co-workers nuts) until I start feeling better. I also tend to stitch every single waking hour at home and clock more stitching hours than working hours in a week (I average about 50 working hours per week, so that's saying something).

I can probably add secondary cores of Astronomy and Take That to the bunch because I have been obsessed with them for at least 10+ years now so they made it through the short period. They aren't as strong as the big three (or holy trinity as I like to call them), but strong enough that I've decided to go back to school to study Astronomy and I tend to play Take That constantly unless I'm in a bad mood (although I have never seen TT live and I've been to dozens of DD shows).

That's really interesting! I guess I can relate a bit to your "post Disney depression", as I have some kind of "post jazz depression". There are times when I'm really into music (focusing on jazz), practising guitar etc, but sometimes this phase ends and I'd need to force myself to take my guitar. That's when I get depressed. And I have no idea when the desire to play comes back... which is stressful.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I will play Duran Duran's Serious over and over on constant repeat, sometimes for days or weeks (drives my co-workers nuts)

Can I suggest captain beefheart for deliberately driving your co-workers nuts?

 

[LooseEnds]

I am just like this... I have wondered if I can be Aspie without the few 'intensive special interests' but what I do is keep finding such interests, research the hell out of them, get real into it even maybe try to make a go with it, then POFF - gone. Like you say. It's almost like once I've 'conquered' the concept the motivation disappears or I'm suddenly bored at the prospect of doing this ONE thing all day forever. Or perhaps too i just get overwhelmed by all the various options/choices/ways I can take it, and get a bit paralysed. Very frustrating as I'd like to specialise and excel in one thing, but maybe I'd have been better suited to consultancy or project-based work, where things keep changing. I get what you mean and sympathise - no real suggested solution but it is good to hear you're not alone in this. Thanks for sharing.

 

[keebles]

Can I suggest captain beefheart for deliberately driving your co-workers nuts?

I'm not so sure it's the song so much that drives them nuts, but the fact that it's on a constant loop for so long. I probably could play just about anything on a loop for weeks and drive them nuts. It may be one of the reasons why I have my own office now.

 

[Sozdatelniza]

Yeah, my interests change over years. I'm sure it's normal. Then it means I change myself and I renew my database in my brain.

But sometimes it scares me that I get new interests and I lose them as quickly as I got them.
One time in 2014 I got interested in Fifa and Olympics but after a few months I suddenly lost any motivation in reading about it and other stuff.

 

[Mattymatt]

Hi, I'm 29 and I've noticed a pattern how my interests change over time. I was wondering if anyone else has noticed similar about themselves?

First of all, I don't have one main obsession/interest throughout my life as some aspies do. I rather have many intense interests that change quite often, from few days to few months and they kind of come and go several times, like rotating of interests. Sometimes, if the interest has potential to make money out of eventually, then I've managed to keep that interest for several years (for example music), but it seems to me now that it can't go on forever. Eventually, the "forced" interest becomes more like torture and then I need to quit.
Right now I'm at this point (and I've been there before), where my previous interest has disappeared but unlike most times, a new one hasn't replaced that. I've been trying this "fake it til u make it" approach, where I take a potentially interesting subject and try to research that, but I don't feel about it like I feel about the real interesting subjects. I feel literally bored to death but I have no interest in anything.

tl;dr - Have you ever been literally bored to death, but don't feel like doing anything? Like none of your previous areas of interests appeal to you anymore? How would you deal with that?

Hi. I am right there. I am bored to death yet struggling to find motivation to do things. I've lost interest in some of the previous areas of interest that I had. Wish I had something to contribute but I am fighting clinical depression. Every day is a battle.

 

[Bella Pines]

Live life. Temporarily, if you do it too much you'll go insane.

When I am at a loss for a special interest, I do normal dull things. I go to the gym, I joined a running club (which was hell!), I did pottery. I "lived". It was torture. But every time I do this I happen across something fascinating. Like for instance, I pulled a muscle in the gym which led to a fascination with fibroblasts and cellular biology! I participated in a school event at my sons school which led to a small income in face painting.

So rather than look for the next project, get out there, live life until inspiration finds you. Then you will yearn for boredom and can retreat into our glorious aspie holes which is always such a relief!

 

[Mary Anne]

Thank you! Really interesting point! I suppose I have mostly purpose issue, because when I accidentally find myself in some activity, I do get the buzz. (yesterday I went hiking spontaneously and that was great! enjoyed that very much)

But I feel I don't have any purpose, because I have now settled on a job that supports me and I have relatively stable life (unlike most of my previous life). For example, about 10 years ago I had strong purpose to get up in the mornings to work on my skills to become "the best version of myself" and to "conquer the world" in few years (like most 20-year-olds do I guess). Now all that is gone, because obviously I didn't conquer the world and I just "get by" now. I've accepted mediocrity. And since there is no big purpose, I also dismiss some small activities in my head, because they seem like child's play that don't have any true meaning.

Sounds like a basic midlife crisis. We all have hopes & dreams in ours 20s. As life settles in, the passions dwindle, and everyday sameness settles in. One day we all say, is this all there is? Where did my life go? That’s when some men buy the red sports car, ditch their wife of 30 years, and start dating 21 year olds! :-0

 

[Puppywings49]

That's happened to me before. I just sorta stopped and thought about things that may interest me, and then tried them. And now I'm obsessed with character creation and Steven Universe, and it's all good.
Long story short, try new things!

 

[Lichi]

Hi, I'm 29 and I've noticed a pattern how my interests change over time. I was wondering if anyone else has noticed similar about themselves?

First of all, I don't have one main obsession/interest throughout my life as some aspies do. I rather have many intense interests that change quite often, from few days to few months and they kind of come and go several times, like rotating of interests. Sometimes, if the interest has potential to make money out of eventually, then I've managed to keep that interest for several years (for example music), but it seems to me now that it can't go on forever. Eventually, the "forced" interest becomes more like torture and then I need to quit.
Right now I'm at this point (and I've been there before), where my previous interest has disappeared but unlike most times, a new one hasn't replaced that. I've been trying this "fake it til u make it" approach, where I take a potentially interesting subject and try to research that, but I don't feel about it like I feel about the real interesting subjects. I feel literally bored to death but I have no interest in anything.

tl;dr - Have you ever been literally bored to death, but don't feel like doing anything? Like none of your previous areas of interests appeal to you anymore? How would you deal with that?

Me too. I don’t have one specific interest or obsession. I will usually get over interested in something for a period of time then get bored of it. My therapist categorized that as a part of my ADHD, because it’s a consistent pattern.

As far as activities I don’t really know what I enjoy doing, more what I have to do and don’t mind doing.