Losing my trust in God.

[Nation]

I am not Catholic but having not been raised in a religion the times I did attend any service were with friends who were Catholic. I have not been to any religious services for years now. I kinda miss them sometimes. I think my crisis of faith has prevented me from seeking anything further. There is a small part of me that does believe in a god of sorts. Jesus to me, is a great example of a good man. Would like to be able to believe in something more.

 

[camerartus]

A question and a comment:

Elsewhere you said you are NT. Is the other person NT or Aspie?

While you may have had a set back as this point, you don't know what the long term impact in the other person's life may be. Maybe it's still what they needed. And you are not answerable for their response, only yours. We don't know the full story, but it sounds like it wasn't you that failed. This is a common experience for ministers and Pastors, so you can imagine how they often feel.

Zurb, she is an aspie. Thanks for saying that and the analogy.

 

[camerartus]

I'm going to think a bit before responding to this post. Maybe you were supposed to give her a chance; and it's not your fault that she squandered that chance. You sound like a very sensitive and caring friend.

I know I didn't do everything perfectly, but I'd like to think I'm that kind of friend.
Thanks.

 

[zurb]

I'm not sure of your gender, or the relative ages (both of which could make a difference) or exactly what happened, but if you are NT and she is aspie, there could be significant misunderstandings of your intentions and genuineness - especially if she has had hurtful relationships in the past (which is almost certain if she is aspie). Proceed very slowly and gently. Don't push or force her beyond what she feels comfortable. Don't assume she likes a hug. Don't assume she will open about her herself until you show an openess and care yourself. And don't expect an NT response. You may be misinterpreting her response as much as she misinterprets you.

 

[camerartus]

I'm not sure of your gender, or the relative ages (both of which could make a difference) or exactly what happened, but if you are NT and she is aspie, there could be significant misunderstandings of your intentions and genuineness - especially if she has had hurtful relationships in the past (which is almost certain if she is aspie). Proceed very slowly and gently. Don't push or force her beyond what she feels comfortable. Don't assume she likes a hug. Don't assume she will open about her herself until you show an openess and care yourself. And don't expect an NT response. You may be misinterpreting her response as much as she misinterprets you.

Thanks for your response. Looking back I can see I might have misinterpreted some things, but she was all over the map and everyone who has read her comments also wonders if someone else is writing them for her because of certain things that keep cropping up. I would love to talk to her more to resolve all this and get back to being friends. Unfortunately, she's blocked me on her phone and on Facebook and there's nothing I can do to communicate with her. And for the record, I'm not the only person she's done that too. Usually, she saves that for her official boyfriends, so I find that interesting.

 

[camerartus]

Or you were used to test. That also happens.

I had a succession of spiritual encounters during an intense course in undergraduate ministry. It started to show up in my homework, class participation, and my design of worship services.

It did not make me any friends. The spiritual gift of prophecy is the gift of truthtelling, and moreover, of truthtesting. And it feels awful at times to live in this world while not-quite trusting the owner, by whatever name you call Him/Her/It/Them.

I'm not sure if I replied to this, or not, but your life sounds a lot like my life. It was a part of my life I wanted to open up more in depth to her because I had a feeling it would resonate something with her. I think that I am as insightfully she is and that perhaps, that scared her. Also, her health problems were piling up on her and I didn't realize, until recently when I found a blog of hers, how much it was getting to her. She wrote this on a remarkable day when we had gotten pretty close.

 

[SPEED RACER]

I was raised a catholic then I joined a apostolic church over a year ago until the members made fun of me behind my back so I quit going I feel I did not fit in anyway to bad I can not go to a church to just worship and not having to deal with all the other stuff.

 

[camerartus]

I was raised a catholic then I joined a apostolic church over a year ago until the members made fun of me behind my back so I quit going I feel I did not fit in anyway to bad I can not go to a church to just worship and not having to deal with all the other stuff.

[emoji22]

 

[4gottenLoreKali]

I would not worship any god that created humanity. I would tell him to go to hell. How ironic it is then, that the very people who caused me to think this way were the ones who claim to be his favored children.

Just recently I left a situation in which the sole factor that determined my housing was whether I went to church or not. The church I was forced to attend could have been worse but it wasn't that great either. My grandmother (my former landlady) bore all the characteristics of a modern-day Christian parasite: virulent affiliation with elitist and genocidal ideologies (ex. the Tea Party)? Check. Unswerving faith in a cult of personality? Check. Vengeful and bitter proselytism? Check. Oh, and a hypocritical martyr complex? Check.

Listen, I'm not saying all Christians are bad. There are indeed sane ones; I salute them. But they are few and far between. They are like chocolate chips embedded deep in a landfill of excrement. At the end of the day, it is not mere religious affiliation alone that determines whether you are a good person, but the ideology you subscribe to. And it seems as if there's a strong correlation between a person's religion and whether they're a good person or not.

I would love to think that there's some kind of god who loves humans and wants us all to heal and share blessings to our fellow man. But the overwhelming majority of humans, it seems, loves to posture god as some kind of vengeful sadist, but more than that, his targets of choice are people who did nothing to warrant anyone's scorn.

 

[Markymarkh]

I always wanted to know do Catholics celebrate bum fire night?