Made to feel like a child - Awww Muuum!

[Spiller]

Unfortunately, it's a feeling I know quite well. In the end, I just have to use the serenity prayer to provide some relief. Every time I feel as if I'm being treated like a 38 year old child, I simply recite the following to myself, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change; the courage to change the things that I can; and the wisdom to know the difference." I cannot change the way I am being treated so why agonize over it anymore? I know who I am, I know I'm not a child.

I find the Serenity prayer works quite well to the beat of banging my head against that metaphorical brick wall

 

[wanderer03]

The serenity prayer is a way of self soothing and acceptance. It helps me take breather, shrug my shoulders, and move on.

 

[Ylva]

I cannot change the way I am being treated so why agonize over it anymore?

Hmm. But what if you can? Or is that just a carrot they're never gonna let us have? "I'll treat you like an adult when you behave like one" is a common thing to say. What if I either can't or don't want to behave like their model of an adult? What if the phrase sounds like it implies that I can control how they treat me, but actually implies that they can control how I behave?

 

[Tom]

I have run into this to an extent. Two things seem to bring it on, and both involve getting catagorized as incompetent.

Make a mistake that people think is foolish or dum. They then catagorize you as that and expect more of the same.

Tell someone you have Aspergers or HFA. They catagorize you as incompetent in standard life skills.

Both involve the person not understanding the nature of autism. Aspies often have different strengths and weaknesses from NTs. Whats 'dum' to them is normal learning curve stuff to us.

 

[Spiller]

I have run into this to an extent. Two things seem to bring it on, and both involve getting catagorized as incompetent.

Make a mistake that people think is foolish or dum. They then catagorize you as that and expect more of the same.

Tell someone you have Aspergers or HFA. They catagorize you as incompetent in standard life skills.

Both involve the person not understanding the nature of autism. Aspies often have different strengths and weaknesses from NTs. Whats 'dum' to them is normal learning curve stuff to us.

Agreed.
I commonly find myself struggling endlessly with things everyone else already knows and takes for granted but don't tell you and can't understand why you don't get it.
At the same time, I often see something that others can't but have to overcome the inertia of belief that I don't know anything and can't contribute.
Once people form an opinion it seems to be almost impossible to change it.. I thought we were the rigid thinkers..

 

[wanderer03]

I have run into this to an extent. Two things seem to bring it on, and both involve getting catagorized as incompetent.

Make a mistake that people think is foolish or dum. They then catagorize you as that and expect more of the same.

Tell someone you have Aspergers or HFA. They catagorize you as incompetent in standard life skills.

Both involve the person not understanding the nature of autism. Aspies often have different strengths and weaknesses from NTs. Whats 'dum' to them is normal learning curve stuff to us.

What I think people don't understand is how I have problems with basic organization and executive functioning while I can do some very advanced stuff with computers. I can set up some complex systems and integrate them yet I struggle to do things like cook. So if I'm categorized as struggling in certain life skills, they aren't totally off base. However, I will not tolerate being treated like a child because of an executive functioning issue.

This does not fly with me and I will firmly state, "I am a high functioning autistic, not someone with Down's Syndrome. I struggle with certain life skills but can maturely articulate what my needs are and how you can help me." To my delight, this statement often leaves NT's flummoxed and not sure where to go so they often repeat themselves. In their bewilderment, I take delight because they cannot get past their own stereotypes of what Autism is. NT's get confused when an autistic person is able to clearly articulate what their form of autism is and what their needs are.

An autistic person that's able to clearly self-advocate doesn't "compute" to an NT. I think a lot of NTs see us as children and it both pisses me off and amuses me at the same time. The amusement is more akin to, "You poor ignorant schmuck. You never took the time to actually learn about Autism. You're just parroting back what you heard on the news and taking it as gospel versus doing a little learning."

This is what I really love about people on the spectrum: we're learners and we commit to lifelong learning. Whereas the typical NT might quit active learning after schooling, learning is a core essence of who we are. When NTs get caught up in the shallow of social networking, we're interested in the more cerebral side of just how it works.