Maladaptive daydreaming?

[Section_Eight]

I still do this, to a lesser degree today. As a teenager I used to play Dungeons & Dragons. As an adult I no longer play (much to my regret), but I still spend a lot of time thinking about and creating characters and then think about how they would react in different scenarios. Sometime I think about a favourite TV show or movie and how I might react in the given scenarios or what I might say. I also think about how I would act in a hostage situation and what I might say and do.

Because I’m married to a NT and I work full time and have teenage children I don’t get much alone time nor could I zone out when I’m around the family. I try to walk home from work a few times a week (which takes 45 minutes) so that’s when I can spend more time fantasizing.

As a side note I haven’t officially been diagnosed as having ASD, but I have been diagnosed as having bipolar II and schizoid personality disorder (which no longer exists). I also score highly on the alexithymia test (152).

 

[MonolithImmortal]

I'm not 100% sure, the word my therapist used was 'changed'. I haven't seen the paperwork or anything. It might be worth mentioning that I never fit into the 'classic' borderline, but was the 'quiet'.
If you're interested, I'll try to find out more..but my therapist really discourages asking about diagnosis for some reason.

Interesting. FWIW I have a sister who is diagnosed with ASD, but my other siblings (who don't know about her diagnosis, or don't believe it) think she is a borderline. I don't see how you can get them confused considering there are a couple of actual borderlines on my wife's side of the family. I suppose an autistic person growing up around a borderline might learn borderline like behavior as a coping strategy, without being borderline, but idk.

From what I understand borderlines absolutely can not deal with solitude, so your day dreaming in solitude strikes me as very unborderline like.

 

[celestialregale]

Interesting. FWIW I have a sister who is diagnosed with ASD, but my other siblings (who don't know about her diagnosis, or don't believe it) think she is a borderline. I don't see how you can get them confused considering there are a couple of actual borderlines on my wife's side of the family. I suppose an autistic person growing up around a borderline might learn borderline like behavior as a coping strategy, without being borderline, but idk.

From what I understand borderlines absolutely can not deal with solitude, so your day dreaming in solitude strikes me as very unborderline like.

I can see your point. I had the label attached since childhood though, not as a diagnosis then, but as 'shows borderline traits'. I know a lot more about borderline than I do asperger's just since I thought I had it so long. I had early childhood abandonment issues, self harm and a few other issues that are common in borderlines. I can see why their minds would go there and I also had massive communication issues with therapists (as in I pretty much spoke to them in monosyllables if ever), so almost everything they learned about me was second hand.

 

[Ragnahawk]

I can see your point. I had the label attached since childhood though, not as a diagnosis then, but as 'shows borderline traits'. I know a lot more about borderline than I do asperger's just since I thought I had it so long. I had early childhood abandonment issues, self harm and a few other issues that are common in borderlines. I can see why their minds would go there and I also had massive communication issues with therapists (as in I pretty much spoke to them in monosyllables if ever), so almost everything they learned about me was second hand.

The complete guide to Asperger's. It's on amazon.

 

[dragoncat16]

I do this but it's usually at night as I fall asleep. I have done so since i was a kid. I don't get why people on the spectrum are supposed to have problems with imagination. Maybe some people on the spectrum do, but some clearly don't, just like how some NTs are imaginative and some not

 

[Desiree W]

From what I understand it's not a recognized disorder, but I'm wondering if anyone else on the spectrum does it?

I started looking into it when my husband asked what the heck I was doing pacing on the porch for hours at a time. I've done it for as long as I can remember and don't consider it a problem, but I guess it doesn't really seem..neurotypical? Is that the correct term?

Quick description, I just imagine scenarios, fantastical worlds, and my place in them. I can do this for hours at a time, usually pacing. It's different than just getting lost in my head thinking about something, which I often also do..

Anyway, this feels poorly worded, but I'm curious!

I'm constantly daydreaming, no matter where I am or what I'm doing. I get lost inside my head a lot in my dream world. I have mental conversations about what I should've said or should've said, future plans, etc. When I have a glazed over look in my eyes, my family knows I'm in deep thought then. I, also pace a lot as my stim.

 

[Datura]

I used to pace while daydreaming all the time, and still do to a degree. In addition, I would shake an object while pacing. This behavior is also known as "hand flapping with object." I find that kind of funny because I used to think I wasn't a hand-flapper, but I guess I am just a different sub-type. But I digress.

I have always enjoyed this activity, but it caused me some distress for a couple of reasons. First of all, it was strongly discouraged by my parents and other people in my life. I learned to hide these behaviors when I was quite young and harbor a lot of shame. I still paced frequently into adulthood as a normal part of thinking, but eventually was shamed out of that as well.

Enjoyable as it was, my daydreaming definitely entered the realm of 'maladaptive'. The amount of time it consumed became a major concern to me, and yet I found I was compelled to do it whenever I had the privacy. I would typically spend hours a day locked away in my room, not engaging with anyone, not accomplishing anything, nor improving myself in any demonstrable way.

Though Youtube and surfing the net have largely displaced my daydreaming, I still partake regularly. When I was a kid my daydreams largely revolved around fantasy scenarios which I would replay over and over again, refining certain details as I went. These days they tend to focus more on special interests and music. I can sit for hours "listening" to the music in my head. It's almost as good as actually hearing it. I just wish I could muster the motivation/courage to actually record some of it.

 

[Anonymous]

I was actually into the community of malidaptive daydreamers on a webpage movement to make it a diagnosis. Before it sort of became official, everyone was discussing their worlds, what helps keep them there(it’s almost always music, at least for that cominity) and wanting a kind of imagination machine where they could live there forever while the outside world viewed the daydream as movies. Now all the websites are all discussing “coping techniques”. Daydreaming has long been a large part of my life. Sometimes I’ll even take reminents of my dreams and piece it together again to make a new story.

 

[LostInSilentHill]

Oh hey yeah, I've had this for a long time. I 'discovered' daydreaming and imagining when I was ten and since then, I have always gotten lost in my daydreams. I can travel across town, walk ten blocks, shop, etc, all on autopilot while my body moves. Thankfully I stop at crosswalks and usually stop once I get to my destination. I also cannot fall asleep without daydreaming, and cannot always control when I will either start or get lost in thought.

I have never feared losing it because I can't remember what it was like not to have it. The only things that have changed over the years is that everything has to have a logical explanation, even in fantasy worlds (magic is logical dam---t). Also, I can only be myself. I have no concept of being another person, so I am always myself from this life.

While I tend to stay still while doing it, I do make faces, laugh, and talk out loud (although not as much as I used too). I'm sure people notice it, though no one has ever mentioned anything to me about it, so I guess it's fine. I don't consider it a mental illness so much as a good distraction and escape, nor do I find it interferes with life though that may be because I no longer work. I do remember it being a problem at work, as well as while out and about.

I think the only real problem with it is that it does depress me sometimes, too realize I have more of a life in my head than in reality.

 

[DCA]

Interestimg thread. I didn't know this was something other aspies do, but something I do as well. Not as frequently as I used to. But one thing I used to do if I was alone in someone else's house was walk around imagining how I would decorate or configure the house. Heck, I still do this in my own house but instead imagine how it would be configured if it was a spaceship! Yes, I'm 43...

 

[WereBear]

Interestimg thread. I didn't know this was something other aspies do, but something I do as well. Not as frequently as I used to. But one thing I used to do if I was alone in someone else's house was walk around imagining how I would decorate or configure the house. Heck, I still do this in my own house but instead imagine how it would be configured if it was a spaceship! Yes, I'm 43...

When stuck in line inside public buildings I pass the time by imagining how I would revamp it to live in.

 

[tree]

When stuck in line inside public buildings I pass the time by imagining how I would revamp it to live in.

That sounds like so much fun.

 

[WereBear]

My favorite is a bank downtown where I work. Two story main room, lots of stone and big windows, with a loft at the back end.

I would make the safe into a pantry (door propped open!) with the office opposite my kitchen. Upstairs, two bedrooms and a nice bath. Powder room near the entrance hall, of course.

 

[shysnail]

I only came across the term "maladaptive daydreaming" by accident on a Tumblr post a couple of years back, but it was shocking to me that it existed as a term to describe this thing that had really been a big, secret part of my life. I felt a lot of shame around it because it was definitely "weird" behaviour (as I saw it), and I felt mortified the couple of times people had "caught" me at it.

I don't know whether it's because I'm autistic that I do it, but I've always felt that it was a way for me to make up for what I couldn't actually do in my actual life. For example, I daydream about having successful social interactions and have substitute, pretend people in my life, perhaps to make up for the lack of actual people I have meaningful relationships with. Along with that, having a world I have total control over where I can't be made to feel bad is probably part of it, too. It's a way of coping, I guess.

It's interesting though, because I don't feel like it's something that I do more when I'm having a hard time in my real life. In fact, the opposite. When I'm really down, I don't want to do much of anything. So when I'm doing my maladaptive daydreaming, it's normally when I'm actually in a happy, carefree mood. So it's not simply a coping thing, I don't think. It's an enjoyable thing, too.

What experiences do others have with maladaptive daydreaming? Do you have theories as to why you do it and if it's related to being autistic?

 

[Pats]

Very detailed - I like all the people in my daydreams better than most in real life - unless I'm upset and need to bring in someone that I can yell at. But, usually, it gives me someone to talk to. And, actually, it's weird, but when I have needed to yell at someone and I daydream the scenario I have actually worked myself up to the point my heart is racing and I have to stop.
Most my life I have known I could easily live in my daydreams instead of reality.