I wish I'd met someone like you when I was younger, I was subject to harsh decisions on choosing someone who could pay bills and defend his space but my inner world wasn't comprehending the cause and effect here.
A lot is coming out in media regarding women masking and choosing or being chosen by interested parties who tend to be neuro-typical. One day my batafina snapped and was less than lady like, I don't pardon or condone this but somehow it was unspoken or unspeakable to say he pressured me so much into constantly performing Nd exacerbated by living in his territory(flat) and I was dearly unhappy, not sure where to turn for help, and having a family tired of supporting my dysfunction!!
Perhaps I leave young batafinas with a lady like guideline to this Delema.
If you don't think or feel it's your problem, pls empathise with your childhood and how you would feel if mother lost her job for insane reason, and was pressured into a relationship for conformaty when she actually questioning agenda of dating him against meal and roof on offer!!
No women should ever have to feel so utterly confused about her role in this.