Many NTs also experience challenges in making friends.

[Mr. Stevens]

Uh, not sure, it's hard to find a girlfriend or boyfriend. A lot of people are just unwilling to socialise or have horrible people skills. What I mean by that is that many people are horribly selfish and unpleasant to be around. I gave up on socialising too, but because I don't have any need to talk about something at the moment and most people I meet walk right through my boundaries all the time and won't listen when being told about it. I don't like them. I don't know what happened, but it wasn't like that some 10 years ago when I was at school, and it was possible to meet a non-egoist and have an actual fun time with someone else. Not saying decent people aren't out there, but for some reason, they are perhaps fed up and sitting in their own homes as well.

One thing that strikes me about this time, is people are so open about mental health and their efforts to improve wellbeing. Yet, we seem to trust each other less and less. I can't help but wonder how people are applying this information. I share many of their struggles as well, though, so I don't say that with a sense of superiority. I think it's sad if people are fed up socializing instead of being able to find those they can get along with.

 

[mw2530]

On the other hand, if we all waited until we could afford children, we would never have children. No one is really ready to have children, nor can afford them. You simply do what is needed and adjust. <Rant> There's a lot of very low income families having children, yet, for example, my son and daughter-in-law, making an easy $300,000+ a year (both lead engineers, student loans paid off) are constantly whining and complaining that having a home and children is just too cost prohibitive. My wife and I are like, seriously? We raised you boys on about $75,000, with a house, and two vehicles. We just went without for many years, but you kids are wanting to maintain a certain lifestyle and then complain that you don't have any time or money left over to afford a home and children. Well, surprise, surprise! Yes, I have seen the cost of living graphs over the years, but the math still doesn't add up. Seems to me they can live on one of those incomes alone and still have the other income to have a home, investments, and children. Groceries, utilities, vehicles, homes, etc. are just as expensive for us older folks, price inflation effects us too, our wages have not caught up with the cost of living either, we just know how to manage our lifestyle and money better.

Not sure where you live, but I think Americans in general do a poor job managing their financials, and with delayed gratification. A personal financial course should be taught in all schools. I am often amazed at how many nice vehicles there are when I am driving. Everyone has to have their $80,000 pick up truck or SUV even if it means they have to live paycheck to paycheck. It is a status symbol. I enjoy listening to Dave Ramsey and his radio show. There is nothing wrong with a nice car, but IMO it is too high on the priority list for many. Making $300k a year is plenty to afford a house and raising a family, in almost any city.

In terms of children, I was trying to get at the notion that is our culture more than anything that has impacted the ability to start or have a family. Going to college is one contributing factor in delayed milestones in terms of relationships, marriage, and children. Once in a relationship, two adults with careers working full time makes it more difficult to have the time to have children. Many parents struggle with finding childcare due to chronic shortages in childcare availability, not to mention how expensive it can be. Once a little older, you can't just send your kids outside to help on the farm like my parents did for us.

 

[MROSS]

Experiences from both NTs, and adults on the Autism Spectrum can offer important dynamics in this disc. thread.

Experiences from NTs, or even NT-like adults (other than close family, yet people famillar with High Functioning Autism, and Neurodiversity) would bring an important dynamic to this disc. thread.

Note: Close family would likely have too much personal experinece with the Autism Spectrum. People with too much experience with the Autism Spectrum alone proves to be detrimental - that is experiences from trusted people who would be more impartial (close family are naturally not impartial) would prove beneficial.

 

[TikvaBall]

Well I can't say because I've never been an NT, but from what I've heard they can struggle to make friends just like we do, particularly if there's any type of difference. It's harder to make friends as an adult anyway because, according to my therapist who is NT, people usually only have a few close friends, so when you're starting over, like if you move to a differenttown, there's a challenge because most people already have their friend group, or their tribe as I say. Sadly, sometimes it can be harder for autistic people to find their tribe, no matter how small, because people are more interested in either forcing them to be normal or just saying heck with them because they're not. Thank God I had one family member who just accepted me during my childhood, and now the rest of my family is understanding for the most part, at least the ones I like anyway. I feel sad for the autistics and the NTs out there who can't find their tribe.

 

[MROSS]

Bumping-up discussion-thread- NTs can experience challenges in maintaining friendships.