Meltdowns?

[Archer36]

It was more frequent before and it lasted longer ... but I seem to be able to manage to prevent them more often now. But I remember it happened at least twice in 2013 ...
- When I failed my motorcycle test
- When I had a very bad day at the archery range

For the motorcycle test, i spent two days in a row in the rain on a little defective motorcycle and very bad unhelpful instructors. I was exhausted, frustrated, tired, and I lost all my points during the first exercise of the exam. It wasn't fun and at that point I thought "another thing I'm not good enough at!" ... my reaction was irrational. I just accumulated so much frustration because the instructors didn't want to help me properly or replace my defective motorcycle ... I kept everything inside and just exploded at the end.

At the archery range, I couldn't shoot as good as i wanted for several days ... I built up an incredible amount of frustration inside me and at some point i shot a really bad arrow. I slammed my bow back on the rack ... and I almost broke it my precious bow ... Then went home and I was destroyed mentally.

In both cases, it was a build up of frustration and the inability to recognize the symptoms announcing the explosion. I didn't like it.

Archery sport helped me a LOT during the last year regarding that issue. I learned that the more frustrated you get, the worse you'll shoot. I learned to calm myself and put things in perspective when i have a bad day ... I kind of self-hypnotize myself when I'm shooting and repeat myself that if i stay calm and relax with no tension, i'll shoot better ... then automatically I restart to shoot better ... then i tell myself stuff like "you've been a very good boy, you did so well at being relax." ... sounds weird, but it works ... My natural state is much more relax today than a year ago. I kind of took some control back over my mind.

And few months after failing my motorcycle test, I went to another school, the teachers were amazing and i got my license and didn't lose any point. It was fantastic. ... I love riding my motorcycle now.

 

[thegreatflamarion]

I once had one at a restaurant, it wanst my greatest moment. That was when I was still a male, and my fustration was just at its peak. So I cried and yelled.

 

[paloftoon]

Rarely, but has happened. They can be embarrassing, that's for sure. One time was when a band teacher was emotionally abusing me, and my mom let him get away with it because she was so insistent on me being in the band no matter what the cost. She didn't listen to anything I said about the abuse, and just said it was a way to become academically better. But I also liked chess, and that's supposed to make you academically better. I even tried to give up band to take Spanish and French at the same time or do to Chorus instead. My mom didn't value Chorus enough, and didn't like the idea of me to take two languages even though I think I would've benefited more than doing something for 7 years that I did not enjoy at all. I understand trying something one year because kids don't always really know what they like and what they don't, and that's what my mom told me first. After the year was up, I told her I still didn't like it and she forced me to stay. It was just a whole childhood of depression from there

Another time was in college when my mom was telling me I couldn't do this and that. It was just me and her in the room, but I think it made my roommates in other rooms in the suite want to keep their distance even more. Not that it mattered in that case. Luckily, my roommate in the same room was not around when that happened.

I'm glad that's done and over with. No one wants a life of meltdowns. It's hard. We have to be willing to deal with a lot and find ways to avoid situations, or walk away sometimes. Hold your head up as high as possible, and don't have expectations or be to eager, or try to be. Always prepare for the worst as much as you can.

 

[brother daniel]

On my mission a couple years ago my companion and I were going door-to-door. A man answered and invited us in. I explained to him, as always, about the many ways our church could change his life for the better. He insisted we read scriptures from the book, but something was off. He started laughing at us, and mocking my religion, and especially my hero Joseph Smith.

It was then he noted my Popeye lanyard that I wear (one of my obsessions is Popeye), and said that Popeye was more real than anything Joseph Smith says. We normally encounter this, but he brought Popeye into it. I know Popeye is a fictional character, along with Bluto and Olive Oyl. But to insist that he is real and Jesus is a lie, that set me off real bad. I don't remember what happened but I blacked out. When I came too, the man's couch stuffings had been pulled right out and I was on the floor crying with my pants wet. Apparently I went into a fit of rage, and seizured on the floor. The man was horrified and the ambulance took me away.

The church took me off door-to-door duty for a couple months while I recovered. I pray to God everyday to never lose my cool like that ever again. It's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, not even that same man who ridiculed me so.

 

[Sev]

The meltdowns I tend to have just make me go extremely quiet, and sort of depressed. There have been times when I've just broken down to a point of just crying (particularly when I was younger).
I meltdown whenever my situations at home just become unbearable or when having moments of severe social anxiety, sometimes months in advance of the actual event.
The only thing that can calm me down is music, sometimes I go for the depressive music if I would rather be quiet, or I go for more aggressive music if I feel like anger would be a more useful emotion (I guess).
It's strange how the music I listen to can determine my mood after a breakdown.

 

[The Penguin]

Experiencing one right now. Feeling very ****** right now. Worked 43 hours in 4 days. I hate the place I live. I hate knowing this job I have might not be a long term. I hate knowing if I fail in life, no one going to give a dam. This meltdown is triggered not knowing if I have a future ability to keep a job. I lost so many jobs in my life. I do fight hard to get back on track, but after some time I get back off track again since most people don't want to help someone with a disability.

 

[Rob]

Experiencing one right now. Feeling very ****** right now. Worked 43 hours in 4 days. I hate the place I live. I hate knowing this job I have might not be a long term. I hate knowing if I fail in life, no one going to give a dam. This meltdown is triggered not knowing if I have a future ability to keep a job. I lost so many jobs in my life. I do fight hard to get back on track, but after some time I get back off track again since most people don't want to help someone with a disability.

I had a meltdown many years ago when I had to work in a busy tax office here in Golden. When the tax returns came in fast and furious, I made a lot of mistakes. The constant criticism drove me to scream, throw things and punch the walls around me in a fit of rage.

More recently, I had to drop out of pharmacy school in Kamloops BC when I had near-meltdowns when I basically gave up thinking and just wanted to finish things off as fast as I could. Of course my instructors faulted me, and things got so bad I had to tell the faculty that I had to withdraw from the program. Their student evaluations of me were depressing and had little good to say about my performance there. It was then I had to go see a doctor and get a diagnosis. They recommended me to mental health centres and I got to an employment service that helped people with disabilities find employment. My psychologist did some harsh testing, and diagnosed me with Asperger's. He recommended I apply for Persons with Disabilities funding. After much waiting I finally got the good news! I paid off my huge student loan with a government lump-sum tax credit, after weeks of fighting with fussy government agents who wanted no mistakes or missing information in their file. And all this after nearly being totally broke if my dad did not give me some cash to help me pay the monthly rent at the Kamloops motel I was at. I then returned to Golden BC where my aging parents needed my help with housework and mobility/dementia issues with my mother.

I remember last summer in Golden, when I had to work five or six days in a row when the traffic was insufferably busy. I did not know what to say to my boss that week, but he saw me in a grouchy mood with earplugs in my ears to shut out the distractions of busy traffic and nonstop customers and tourists all around me. But my boss's son was there, and though he did not speak to me about it my boss told me that his son noticed I was in a bad mood. After this hellish week, my boss (who knows my condition) told me that he would give me the shifts that were the least stressful, and he did.

I cannot solve everyone's problems, and I know resource availability is different from place to place. But perhaps (just a suggestion) you can visit an employment centre for advice regarding your condition. If you can find a place that can help those with disabilities that would be great. Places like the Open Door Group (and similar ones in your area if possible) can be very helpful.

 

[The Penguin]

I had a meltdown many years ago when I had to work in a busy tax office here in Golden. When the tax returns came in fast and furious, I made a lot of mistakes. The constant criticism drove me to scream, throw things and punch the walls around me in a fit of rage.

More recently, I had to drop out of pharmacy school in Kamloops BC when I had near-meltdowns when I basically gave up thinking and just wanted to finish things off as fast as I could. Of course my instructors faulted me, and things got so bad I had to tell the faculty that I had to withdraw from the program. Their student evaluations of me were depressing and had little good to say about my performance there. It was then I had to go see a doctor and get a diagnosis. They recommended me to mental health centres and I got to an employment service that helped people with disabilities find employment. My psychologist did some harsh testing, and diagnosed me with Asperger's. He recommended I apply for Persons with Disabilities funding. After much waiting I finally got the good news! I paid off my huge student loan with a government lump-sum tax credit, after weeks of fighting with fussy government agents who wanted no mistakes or missing information in their file. And all this after nearly being totally broke if my dad did not give me some cash to help me pay the monthly rent at the Kamloops motel I was at. I then returned to Golden BC where my aging parents needed my help with housework and mobility/dementia issues with my mother.

I remember last summer in Golden, when I had to work five or six days in a row when the traffic was insufferably busy. I did not know what to say to my boss that week, but he saw me in a grouchy mood with earplugs in my ears to shut out the distractions of busy traffic and nonstop customers and tourists all around me. But my boss's son was there, and though he did not speak to me about it my boss told me that his son noticed I was in a bad mood. After this hellish week, my boss (who knows my condition) told me that he would give me the shifts that were the least stressful, and he did.

I cannot solve everyone's problems, and I know resource availability is different from place to place. But perhaps (just a suggestion) you can visit an employment centre for advice regarding your condition. If you can find a place that can help those with disabilities that would be great. Places like the Open Door Group (and similar ones in your area if possible) can be very helpful.

I did have a meltdown during one of my jobs. I read my employment contract and it says I get 15 paid sick days per year. So I went to the doctor and request for sick leave for 7 days.

Sorry to hear what happen at school. I wonder if having accommodations would make a difference? I was able to have a note taker and extra time for test. Without it, I would have never finished college.

Work with a lot of noise bugs me too. I had a temp agency sent me to one work site at a factory. There was a big huge sign say "hearing protection required!" yet most people don't wear it. I told them I was not working until they provide the hearing protection.

I'm using a center help people with disability in employment. The ones we have here in Nova Scotia is not as good compare to the ones I used in Ontario. I also heard people in Nova Scotia leaving for other province because how bad it is here. I spoke to the case manager how I'm not happy of their organization keeps providing me horrible support and they said they going to correct things. Whether this really happens or not we will see.

Thanks for talking about the disability tax credit. I wanted to apply but I delayed it for some reason. I know you can go back up to 5 tax return periods. I am going to try to make time to apply. Thanks for sharing your life story.

 

[Rob]

The school I attended was the most highly ranked pharmacy school in Canada, but my motor skill impairment, attention span, teamwork problems and poor working memory will not allow me to finish the program there. They are on a fast-track
mode and want to put out as many students in the field as possible. Even if I was able to get through the program, the intense stress of real-life pharmacy tech employment in hospitals and even retail pharmacy would get to me soon. I would have made someone very sick or made some other mistake causing undesirable consequences. But I have no ill feelings toward the faculty and instructors there. They were quite professional and friendly, though frank they were regarding my performance.