Mild psychosis - psychotic depression?

[FIVER]

Sorry if I'm talking too much.

 

[FIVER]

Hey people,

I'm quite a complex person. I have autism and OCD, however, I think I'm quite severely depressed. I'm on medication - 60mg of Prozac. It's works well for the OCD, but not so much for the depression. Also I'm extremely overweight as well, so that could be contributing to the depression.

Anyways, I think I once had an episode of psychosis back when I was 16-years old. I started believing that anime/cartoon characters hated my mum. I have no idea why I thought like this, but it's was so distressing to me. None of the therapy I learned worked and no matter what kind of lists I'd make to say why this thought wasn't true, it didn't work. I was on hardly any medication and started gaining weight again due to eating too much to cope with distressing feelings. I think I lacked insight really badly because I honestly thought these characters were superior and better than us and had feelings too.

I think that if I came off my medication or had my dosage lowered, I would start experiencing these types of thoughts, beliefs, and feelings again. Also, I kind of want to change medication because my depression is quite bad. I'm not sure if I lost weight that the depression would just disappear?

These last 3-years, I've been on the same meds and I can feel myself slipping into a deep, dark depression. I can hear things and sometimes see things too. I can taste things in my nose as well, like smoke and mayo. I also think that Japanese people are the best because of their cartoons and comics. I think that no lives matter - only Japanese. I know this isn't true, but it causes me to want to sometimes kill myself because I think my life doesn't matter.

I also imagine things a lot. For example, I get mental images of me committing suicide and how the mental health team would find me on top of a building, needles going through my belly button, and other images. I also imagine people getting ran over by cars or people stopping me in the road. It's a bit weird.

Regarding the anime/cartoon characters, I'm not sure if that was psychosis, OCD, or both? Is it possible to have autism and psychosis?

I don't know if I should seek help because I'm not sure if a psychiatrist will believe me.

Just wanted to tell you that you are loved.

 

[Rainbow-Sprinkles]

No, do not go off meds but maybe a drug that suits you better. I know of someone who was on Prozac but made her depression worse.
So sorry about your foot. Have you ever heard about "earthing". There is a movie about it. I think it is on YouTube. So they say barefoot on the earth or hugging a tree really helps. I have that thing where lack of sunlight makes me not want to do anything. I've gotten to learning about myself and what are my triggers. I take 5 to 6 IU of vitamin D a day. A simple blood test by your family doctor can determine if it is low.
I have trouble with my weight also. I go up and down. I've realized that if I eat more I need to move more. So I walk. I have OCD as well, but it is manageable.
When I was in graduate school I read a journal article from a Japanese researcher who treated people with depression at an inpatient facility and they were prescribed to do menial chores. Some were inside and some outside. He reported a significant improvement in his patients. I always remembered that study and so I have come to realize that I feel more grounded when I do these things. Of course, sometimes you just got to go with the depression and just ride the wave until you can muster up some bravery. You said you like anime. Have you been to any CONS?

Thank you for your comment.

I've never heard of "earthing". I'll take a look at it.

That's interesting about the Japanese researcher. I do try to get out as much as I can but my foot hurts really badly. Sometimes it hurts less than other times.

I haven't been to any Comic Cons. I would love to go one day to one though.

 

[FIVER]

I am sorry about your foot. I've been to two CONS but not dressed up. I must confess, my daughter is the fan and dresses up.
I have been feeling anxious lately, so I bought a plant. It is called a Wild Shamrock. I touch the leaves. I tell it I am so happy it is here.

 

[NoKipAr on the run]

(drops to the knees)

Psychosis!? I thought I was the only one!

look, I have it too, which co-insides with my Asperger's, and I am very heartbroken to hear that it won't go away, but my aunt has OCD. and please please please DON'T COMMIT SUICIDE!!!

as for the anime stuff, Listen. I love anime too. if I could, I would spoof anime like you'd see in a Mel Brooks joint, or like Austin Powers, or even... Air plane? my opinion is that there isn't any shame in being an Otaku, Weeaboo, or any kind of anime nerd. but "Weeaboo", as me and my cousin agree, it's a nasty word. there isn't a thing I would ever do or say to make you think you're not good enough! I had my share of scary thoughts too! so please... never...... kill yourself. okay?

 

[GrownupGirl]

What do you mean?

For some strange reason many people find others who are intensely interested in anime or other Japanese culture annoying or creepy.

 

[Rainbow-Sprinkles]

For some strange reason many people find others who are intensely interested in anime or other Japanese culture annoying or creepy.

Why would you find that? Sure, there's some annoying and creepy people into Japanese culture, but there's a lot worse things to be into.