Missed Opportunities

[BraidedPony]

I think that was great you called the vet’s office to give her your number. Very sweet and brave.

 

[Fino]

Thank you, Braided Pony for saying that! I was so distracted by the ducks that I never even read your post about what happened!! I didnt even realize this was the same thread! I had been wondering intermittently if anyone else was going to reply on that thread! What the heck!!!! I'm bonkers!!

Anyway, I'm proud of you!

 

[Mia]

Missed opportunities? There have been some, even similar to the one you mentioned. Yet I have been most of my adult life married to someone I love and care about a great deal. So they were not so much opportunities as a test of my loyalty to my spouse.

Other occurrences were related to jobs or my inability to react 'in the moment.'

Once in line at an art store in a city, buying tubes of paint, the older man directly in front of me asked the clerk if she knew of any local artists who airbrush. He required someone to airbrush backgrounds for his paintings. She provided him with a card for a local guild of painters. Overheard all of this, I airbrush well and had almost completed my final year at art school. Wanted to speak, yet I didn't. As he turned to leave, I recognized him. A well-known artist whose interview I had read in an art magazine. Wanted to drop the tubes of paint on the counter and follow him out and say "I know how to airbrush." But I didn't, as I needed time to think.

Went for three interviews at Industrial light and magic, to work in animation in their art department. My animation teacher had some connection with them, and managed to get me the interview. At the fourth interview, they showed me around the studio and I met some of the people who worked there. They were all about five years younger than I was. It was an open studio, computers and drafting boards all in the same area. No privacy, very noisy. They offered me the job, I went home, thought about how much I would hate working in such a place. And turned down the job.

Opportunities that I didn't take, yet rarely regret.

 

[Shamar]

I'm not sure if there's a thread like this, but I figure people will have plenty of stories to share. I'd like to think this will become a place for people to share situations where you met someone and for whatever reason missed your chance to do something with it (or maybe there's a Cinderella story!).

---

So, I'll start it this way (story time!): My motivation to start this thread is that earlier this week I met a beautiful girl while at the Veterinary Clinic for my sick cat (my cat wasn't eating and was lethargic; and yes, is okay and recovering). She had also brought her cat in and, kind of mildly surprise to me, she chose to sit in the one available chair just next to me rather than any of the 3 available on the other side of the front door. Maybe some people are like that, but I always aim for "space" when its available. I had an internal "?! Be cool, self!!" moment. lol

We ended up chatting much of the waiting time, sharing some stories about our cats as well as both observing a very sick dog in the corner (in fact, she gave up her room spot when they called for her, saying that dog needed priority, so she had to wait another 5 minutes or so - I liked her generosity and empathy, as I suck at expressing it but I experience it a lot). If I wasn't such a nervous wreck at the time, I would have asked her casually to coffee or something, but I was at my wits end. When it was her time to go, she wished me good luck in a very sincere tone.

In hindsight, I'm really kicking myself. Also in hindsight, I realize our conversation had a different tone than typical waiting room conversations... usually strangers are a bit louder for all to hear, like a "public" conversation, but we stayed fairly hushed and 1 on 1, almost as if we knew each other. In fact, I've had butterflies all week since then. Part of me thinks I'm just too damn sensitive to this kind of thing (yes), but another part of me thinks its a legit signal and I really missed out (maybe also yes).

I even thought up the idea to contact the receptionist that was there and just offer my name and number as a relay, so as to not request any info and just extend an olive branch. So that way its her choice, and if it was mutual she'll contact me. But then I think that's slightly crazy. (Part of me thinks its cutely romantic, but still slightly crazy).

Complicating matters is that I'm in the process of divorce (over 1 1/2 years of separation though and with no plans at reconciling, so I've effectively been single for a while now), and I may be moving away this year.

I also had to have some "discussions" with myself via my journal to realize I've been holding mental blocks, and its time to finalize that divorce already and set myself free - and that I vow to pull the trigger when my instinct says so (whenever I catch on... needless to say, I suck at picking up real time body language, especially when nervous).

Anyway. That's the story for now. How crazy am I? Should I just let it go and use it as a lesson? Or should I actually try my crazy idea as I've got nothing to lose? OR, because of my circumstances, should I let it go because of the old saying, "Careful what you wish for: you just might get it?"

P.S. Butterflies in the stomach... they make you crazy.

Yes, so many missed opportunities. I cannot approach or initiate a conversation with a lady, she has to make the first move. And the second, and the third, etc. When I try, its like entering a force field that gets more intense the closer I get. If I get too close I get brain paralysis and cannot speak. I feel your frustration, because it id=s also mine.

I cannot understand the social cues that seem instinctive to everyone else. At one party in college I was about to leave and one of the women asked me to walk her home. When we got to her door she invited me in for coffer. I turned her down and went home. She got very pissed off at me, and it took two days to figure out that it was not coffee that was being offered. I remember another party where there was a girl who kept looking at me and standing close. Eventually she sat on my lap, put her mouth against mine, and proceeded to try and suck my teeth out. It was only at this point I concluded she was coming on to me. Unless it is abundantly clear what is going on, I don't have a clue.

 

[JDShredds]

I think that was great you called the vet’s office to give her your number. Very sweet and brave.

This comment touched me. Thank you. I think I had almost forgotten... I've always, deep down, been a romantic. I just look and act like a staunch stoic most of the time (and do a good job convincing myself I am).

Thank you, Braided Pony for saying that! I was so distracted by the ducks that I never even read your post about what happened!! I didnt even realize this was the same thread! I had been wondering intermittently if anyone else was going to reply on that thread! What the heck!!!! I'm bonkers!!

Anyway, I'm proud of you!

You crack me up, Fino. Your ADHD is showing, you scattered little duck you.

Missed opportunities? There have been some, even similar to the one you mentioned. Yet I have been most of my adult life married to someone I love and care about a great deal. So they were not so much opportunities as a test of my loyalty to my spouse.

Other occurrences were related to jobs or my inability to react 'in the moment.'

Once in line at an art store in a city, buying tubes of paint, the older man directly in front of me asked the clerk if she knew of any local artists who airbrush. He required someone to airbrush backgrounds for his paintings. She provided him with a card for a local guild of painters. Overheard all of this, I airbrush well and had almost completed my final year at art school. Wanted to speak, yet I didn't. As he turned to leave, I recognized him. A well-known artist whose interview I had read in an art magazine. Wanted to drop the tubes of paint on the counter and follow him out and say "I know how to airbrush." But I didn't, as I needed time to think.

Went for three interviews at Industrial light and magic, to work in animation in their art department. My animation teacher had some connection with them, and managed to get me the interview. At the fourth interview, they showed me around the studio and I met some of the people who worked there. They were all about five years younger than I was. It was an open studio, computers and drafting boards all in the same area. No privacy, very noisy. They offered me the job, I went home, thought about how much I would hate working in such a place. And turned down the job.

Opportunities that I didn't take, yet rarely regret.

First of all, I love all things art and think its awesome you airbrush. And yes, "inability to react in the moment" couldn't explain better exactly what I also struggle with. I'm terrible at "real time" processing. Its why things like this happen... I realize after the fact what was going on, and then I get really mad at myself for missing it.

Yes, so many missed opportunities. I cannot approach or initiate a conversation with a lady, she has to make the first move. And the second, and the third, etc. When I try, its like entering a force field that gets more intense the closer I get. If I get too close I get brain paralysis and cannot speak. I feel your frustration, because it id=s also mine.

I cannot understand the social cues that seem instinctive to everyone else. At one party in college I was about to leave and one of the women asked me to walk her home. When we got to her door she invited me in for coffer. I turned her down and went home. She got very pissed off at me, and it took two days to figure out that it was not coffee that was being offered. I remember another party where there was a girl who kept looking at me and standing close. Eventually she sat on my lap, put her mouth against mine, and proceeded to try and suck my teeth out. It was only at this point I concluded she was coming on to me. Unless it is abundantly clear what is going on, I don't have a clue.

I feel for you. I don't think I get it quite that severely, but I'm certainly slow on the uptake. That "force field" you talk about... I swear its real. Somehow I broke through it in this recent case... but I didn't finish the deal.

 

[Fino]

"You scattered little duck you!"

 

[tlc]

All my years of long travels on the road, I've encountered people who needed help and have helped a few females. One stuck in her driveway as I drove by, one at a rest stop with a boiling over radiator, maybe others. Once in awhile I thought about it later, what if I had talked to her more? Then I would realize that these things probably only happen in cologne commercials. I think that online is better, first you know who is actually looking, then you know if they even have a hope of being compatible. I don't like to start something and have to end it because I didn't do my homework first.