Mom Doesn’t Believe Diagnosis

[Bella Pines]

I was wondering if other people have gone through this in the community?

Short answer, yes. There are many threads on this, so read away, you are by no means alone:
"Oh you're just faking it!"

All my life I felt like a misfit and couldn’t relate to others, not socializing as others seemed to do. In fact, I used to get yelled at for the things I couldn’t do like show my emotions, not talk, shutdown, no eye contact, cry randomly, my sensory issues, my routine, etc.

Yes, pretty much consistent with everyone on this forum, I have most of these symptoms.

Since the diagnosis my mom has seen his way and she says I’m lying

I can't even imagine how difficult this must be for you, it nearly made me cry.

In the perfect world, she would love you and support you unconditionally. Unfortunately, we are in a highly complicated world.

Now the good news is that you are autistic. So I'm hoping that along with the symptoms you described above, you are logical and see things clearly? The fact that you have described your evil stepfather (who sounds like something out of cinderella) as manipulative, indicates that you see things clearly like most of us here.

So try to view your mum's reaction objectively. Whilst it might feel like a betrayal, an abandonment, I can assure you it is not. I am a mother myself and it is impossible not to love your child. There are probably many factors at work here.

• She may feel responsible, that somehow she did something wrong. She will probably try to deny that you are in any way 'disabled' (not that I think autism is a disability, if anything a hyper-ability)
• She probably feels guilty. She must see that you are struggling, she will not accept that she is contributing to this, she probably just wants it all to go away.
• She is weak. I'm sorry that you are going through so much all at once. But there's a phase in life where young adults are disappointed to find out that their parents are simply flawed human beings like everyone else.
• She may be afraid of being alone. She probably sees her life falling apart and is trying desperately to restore it to an earlier time and keep her boyfriend and child.

So hold on to the hope that it's not you that is the problem here and that your mom loves you dearly.

my stepdad has called me cold, negative and lifeless.

Yeah, he's a dick, try your very best to avoid him. Easier said than done, but try and get some qualifications and escape from his sphere of influence.

Do not, under any circumstances, confuse his opinion of you with the reality of you. We just control our emotions better and think much clearer than neurotypicals.

I have been told that I have the emotional range of a teaspoon, I am emotionally unavailable and dead inside. And actually, I'm fine with that! xx

 

[Taylor Lemke]

Thank you all for the support! It is so comforting to know that I am accepted into an amazing community, to where people actually get me for the first time! It is so nice to know I am not alone and it is refreshing to hear positivity, apart from constant put downs. I am proud to be who God wired me to be and I can’t wait to see where this new chapter leads, as I know with autism that nothing is wrong with me! We just see the world differently!