My 2 year old daughter was diagnosed with asd and I am now questioning my own neurotypicalness

[laurainthesky]

Internally, NTs are so much on the same page that there is a high degree of accuracy in their intuition toward each other. Neuro-diverse people [neurds ] have that to a certain extent, too, with other neuro-diverse people.

I had an interesting conversation with my husband. He feels very comfortable with his ability to read people and have smooth interactions with them. My husband never thought about ASD for me, but now thinks it fits well. He reports feeling perplexed at socials cues I miss. He now understands why I get so overloaded so quickly, why I hit myself when I get very overwhelmed, and why I take everything literally. He said he learned years ago that he has to ask for affection and be very direct in his communication.

 

[VictorR]

Welcome!

I find in my work that it's not usual for women to start their discovery or re-discovery after one of their children receives a diagnosis.

All the best in your journey and making it through the blues - I'm sure you'll come out stronger

 

[Spiritfilled]

Welcome! You sound like me I’m currently self diagnosed and waiting for assessment, my 5 year old daughter got diagnosed recently. I think ASD makes you more susceptible to postpartum for sure, I had a measure of it after each but particularly bad after number #1 and #3. I couldn’t cope with the crying, it was total sensory and emotional overwhelm. I would also do WAY too much after my babies were born and the following months, I couldn’t rest or sit still, despite being exhausted.

 

[laurainthesky]

Welcome! You sound like me I’m currently self diagnosed and waiting for assessment, my 5 year old daughter got diagnosed recently. I think ASD makes you more susceptible to postpartum for sure, I had a measure of it after each but particularly bad after number #1 and #3. I couldn’t cope with the crying, it was total sensory and emotional overwhelm. I would also do WAY too much after my babies were born and the following months, I couldn’t rest or sit still, despite being exhausted.

Did you ever yell at your crying baby? You don't have to answer. I am trying to piece together where postpartum depression, ASD, and my personality intersect to create that awful behavior. Ear protection helps a little, but I may need foam plugs under the headphones. It is getting a lot easier as she is crying less and being more cute. No more babies for me. I don't think I could do postpartum depression #4. I appreciate your reply very much!

 

[Spiritfilled]

Did you ever yell at your crying baby? You don't have to answer. I am trying to piece together where postpartum depression, ASD, and my personality intersect to create that awful behavior. Ear protection helps a little, but I may need foam plugs under the headphones. It is getting a lot easier as she is crying less and being more cute. No more babies for me. I don't think I could do postpartum depression #4. I appreciate your reply very much!

Yeah, I did, and felt such shame after. It’s like I could cope with a certain amount then couldn’t any more. The thing that really helped me in the daytime was babywearing. I actually took it up because my now diagnosed ASD daughter just cried ALL the time and it soothed her so so much and she slept. It also increases your oxytocin when you carry them close to you which has a calming effect. Nights were hard tho, I remember hubby taking her for plenty of drives at 4am desperate to get her to sleep. I went on anti depressants when she was a baby which did help stabilise my moods quite a lot. To be honest, now mine are past the baby stage I’m still finding the noise incredibly hard and overwhelming, I’m really hoping a dx will help me to understand myself better and learn ways to cope. I get out for walks as much as possible which is my main coping strategy.

 

[laurainthesky]

Yeah, I did, and felt such shame after. It’s like I could cope with a certain amount then couldn’t any more. The thing that really helped me in the daytime was babywearing. I actually took it up because my now diagnosed ASD daughter just cried ALL the time and it soothed her so so much and she slept. It also increases your oxytocin when you carry them close to you which has a calming effect. Nights were hard tho, I remember hubby taking her for plenty of drives at 4am desperate to get her to sleep. I went on anti depressants when she was a baby which did help stabilise my moods quite a lot. To be honest, now mine are past the baby stage I’m still finding the noise incredibly hard and overwhelming, I’m really hoping a dx will help me to understand myself better and learn ways to cope. I get out for walks as much as possible which is my main coping strategy.

There probably is nothing in the world to make one feel shittier than yelling at a baby. I do so badly postpartum with newborns that my husband has taken up that mantle of soothing and doing most of the care. I liked babywearing my son when he was a little older. If the baby is fussy I get extremely anxious if the baby is in my physical space like that. I usually do okay with loud child play noise unless it is sudden or constant. This maternity leave, I've pretty much dedicated most my energy to my 2 year old who was just diagnosed asd. My husband thinks I'm a good mother. I'm glad he thinks so, and I hope he is right.

 

[Spiritfilled]

There probably is nothing in the world to make one feel shittier than yelling at a baby. I do so badly postpartum with newborns that my husband has taken up that mantle of soothing and doing most of the care. I liked babywearing my son when he was a little older. If the baby is fussy I get extremely anxious if the baby is in my physical space like that. I usually do okay with loud child play noise unless it is sudden or constant. This maternity leave, I've pretty much dedicated most my energy to my 2 year old who was just diagnosed asd. My husband thinks I'm a good mother. I'm glad he thinks so, and I hope he is right.

I’m sure you are We are hard on ourselves. Newborns are hard work!