My Adventures Going out Alone!

[JDartistic]

So also i tried to hook him up! W the cool entourage but they ignored us....in their own world. But it's hard to approach a group....

 

[JDartistic]

The group wasn't very friendly. I don't think I'll ever try approaching a group again.

 

[JDartistic]

Anyways, turned out he was a Coast Guard Captan & I own a boat! & he had a family & kids & just moved to DC & wanted to know where to go for a good burger!

 

[JDartistic]

I just want to be a nice person. Sometimes my autism makes that harder to do, though. I can clam up or become quickly irritated... I found the entourage too loud & hyper focused on them. Then I didn't enjoy the evening.

 

[JDartistic]

But i lived more tonight than I ever had alone...

That's why we must keep trying...

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

I remember teaching myself to go out to eat alone. It was very awkward at first, until I realized that I was doing it for the first time myself, but the wait staff have all seen this before. "Table for one" was a very daring thing for me to say, to assert that I could spend money and oh, by the way, I would prefer not to sit next to the kitchen, thank you. It took a few years for that to become part of what I could do for myself. But I made a point to tip very well for any place I wanted to come back to--like 25% or more if the food and service was great--because it made me memorable in a very positive way, and after a while, they knew me and would do little extras like comp me a drink or an appetizer. Good times. When bad times come, they don't hold it against me when tips grew leaner. Some of them even helped me network!

 

[Tia Maria]

The group wasn't very friendly. I don't think I'll ever try approaching a group again.

You are right JD, that groups tend to be difficult to interact or engage with because they often have their own agenda & mutual interests going on ... meaning they might want to catch up with each other or whatever, & are often not interested in meeting anyone new or even having conversations outside their existing group.

When you are out alone, another person who is also solo is usually more open - or even hoping to have a conversation with someone else.

I am learning that some Auties & Aspies may not need to (or even desire to) extend themselves beyond their comfort zone; & some may find it physically impossible or just too difficult to do. I think that is fine & perfectly acceptable. However, for others like yourself who desire to try new things & want to stretch your comfort zone, you are doing GREAT & are an inspiration! Bravo again!!!

 

[JDartistic]

I remember teaching myself to go out to eat alone. It was very awkward at first, until I realized that I was doing it for the first time myself, but the wait staff have all seen this before. "Table for one" was a very daring thing for me to say, to assert that I could spend money and oh, by the way, I would prefer not to sit next to the kitchen, thank you. It took a few years for that to become part of what I could do for myself. But I made a point to tip very well for any place I wanted to come back to--like 25% or more if the food and service was great--because it made me memorable in a very positive way, and after a while, they knew me and would do little extras like comp me a drink or an appetizer. Good times. When bad times come, they don't hold it against me when tips grew leaner. Some of them even helped me network!

This is good advice! It never dawned on me to ask for a better table!!!

One reason I sit at the bar is precisely cuz they would always sit me at a terrible table where I felt miserable. (Near the kitchen or worse, in a dark corner, forgotten) it's also hard to get good service at a table cuz they don't think you'll tip well. But at the bar, u get good service & a good seat (except avoid the service station at the bar - that gets too distracting) the only thing I don't like about the bar is a loud TV. That hinders meeting new peeps.

 

[JDartistic]

You are right JD, that groups tend to be difficult to interact or engage with because they often have their own agenda & mutual interests going on ... meaning they might want to catch up with each other or whatever, & are often not interested in meeting anyone new or even having conversations outside their existing group. ...
I am learning that some Auties & Aspies may not need to (or even desire to) extend themselves beyond their comfort zone; & some may find it physically impossible or just too difficult to do. I think that is fine & perfectly acceptable. However, for others like yourself who desire to try new things & want to stretch your comfort zone, you are doing GREAT & are an inspiration! Bravo again!!!

Thanks Tia!
I am in that group of preferring my comfort zone...but I'm trying to push beyond that. I find going out alone to be nerve-racking but the alternative is to stay at home all the time, & I'm just bored. Guess boredom is getting me out more! But it does make me anxious & some days, I back down & don't go out when I plan to.

I just joined Match, too! I dread it but at the very least, I hope to get out of the house more often. LOL

 

[tree]

Restaurant offers staff interactions in three different levels : mildlyinteresting
I was looking for additional sources to verify authenticity.

The comment, "I'm going to bring my autistic friend and a flamboyant gay man there and ask for all three."---is from here:
Restaurant offers staff interactions in three different levels - AR15.COM

Medium Level of Interaction seems like it would be more workable, than the 3rd Level.
If the staff never speaks unless spoken to, many people on this forum
might get pretty hungry.

Assuming this is a real place.

 

[DiverseWonderland]

Cool, I'm not one for social interactions but sometimes i get short cabin fever and i decide to go out and do something even if i don't know what and it usually is awkward or fun but i still like a good short adventure.