You seem like a very kind and approachable person. I think you should take things step by step:
Step 1:
(Find People with Shared Interests)
Look for Common Ground:
Find someone who shares your interests, often found in places you regularly visit. This creates a good foundation as it indicates that you both enjoy being there.
Engage in Relevant Conversations:
Focus on talking about things related to that place or try to understand their interests. For example, if you attend a cooking class, you know the people there share your passion or want to improve their culinary skills. If you find someone interesting, ask them what motivated them to take the class, their cooking skills, and their favorite type of cuisine. This can generate a lot of common material to talk about. Understand what drives a person to be in the place you both find yourselves.
Step 2:
(Manage Conversations and Sensitive Topics)
Avoid Heavy Topics Initially:
Don’t immediately bring up topics like suicide or extreme actions, which are delicate and emotionally heavy. This makes people very uncomfortable because no one wants to take on such a complex situation. No one wants to be the drop that overflows an already full cup, and no one wants to feel “trapped” out of pity or fear that the person might commit extreme acts. This creates a lot of stress for others. I know you need to talk about it, and opening up is a good thing and certainly indicates a desire to face a difficult period. But remember that others also have emotions, and feeling such a burden, especially from someone they are just getting to know, is like an avalanche. No one likes to be overwhelmed by an avalanche.
Step 3:
(Handle Emotions Appropriately)
Talk to Your Therapist:
Speak with your therapist, keep a journal, and address these issues in a safe place with someone competent who is trained and able to protect themselves from such emotional burdens because they do it professionally. Doing this with someone who doesn’t have the skills and doesn’t know you well enough will burn bridges and put the other person in great difficulty.
Step 4:
(Seek Community Support)
Speak with Your Pastor or Priest: If you attend church, talking to your pastor or priest might help.
Join Support Groups:
Attend support groups to overcome your difficult moments if your therapist is unavailable.
Step 5:
(Adapt Conversations to the Context)
Respect Social Contexts:
Each place has its own purpose, and this also applies to the level of intimacy you have with people. With an acquaintance, talk about light topics; with a trusted person, you can open up more. For difficult topics, turn to a therapist or support groups.
Diversify Relationships:
Remember that you can have relationships of varying degrees; not all need to have the same level of depth or intensity. Understand what you want from the person you’re interested in, cultivate the relationship gradually, and adapt the topics to the type (and current level)of relationship.
I wish you the best. I’m convinced that with some adjustments, you’ll be able to cultivate the relationships you desire.
Step 1:
(Find People with Shared Interests)
Look for Common Ground:
Find someone who shares your interests, often found in places you regularly visit. This creates a good foundation as it indicates that you both enjoy being there.
Engage in Relevant Conversations:
Focus on talking about things related to that place or try to understand their interests. For example, if you attend a cooking class, you know the people there share your passion or want to improve their culinary skills. If you find someone interesting, ask them what motivated them to take the class, their cooking skills, and their favorite type of cuisine. This can generate a lot of common material to talk about. Understand what drives a person to be in the place you both find yourselves.
Step 2:
(Manage Conversations and Sensitive Topics)
Avoid Heavy Topics Initially:
Don’t immediately bring up topics like suicide or extreme actions, which are delicate and emotionally heavy. This makes people very uncomfortable because no one wants to take on such a complex situation. No one wants to be the drop that overflows an already full cup, and no one wants to feel “trapped” out of pity or fear that the person might commit extreme acts. This creates a lot of stress for others. I know you need to talk about it, and opening up is a good thing and certainly indicates a desire to face a difficult period. But remember that others also have emotions, and feeling such a burden, especially from someone they are just getting to know, is like an avalanche. No one likes to be overwhelmed by an avalanche.
Step 3:
(Handle Emotions Appropriately)
Talk to Your Therapist:
Speak with your therapist, keep a journal, and address these issues in a safe place with someone competent who is trained and able to protect themselves from such emotional burdens because they do it professionally. Doing this with someone who doesn’t have the skills and doesn’t know you well enough will burn bridges and put the other person in great difficulty.
Step 4:
(Seek Community Support)
Speak with Your Pastor or Priest: If you attend church, talking to your pastor or priest might help.
Join Support Groups:
Attend support groups to overcome your difficult moments if your therapist is unavailable.
Step 5:
(Adapt Conversations to the Context)
Respect Social Contexts:
Each place has its own purpose, and this also applies to the level of intimacy you have with people. With an acquaintance, talk about light topics; with a trusted person, you can open up more. For difficult topics, turn to a therapist or support groups.
Diversify Relationships:
Remember that you can have relationships of varying degrees; not all need to have the same level of depth or intensity. Understand what you want from the person you’re interested in, cultivate the relationship gradually, and adapt the topics to the type (and current level)of relationship.
I wish you the best. I’m convinced that with some adjustments, you’ll be able to cultivate the relationships you desire.
