My financial stupidity and how it makes me want to end my life.

[Gerald Wilgus]

Well, I just contacted a bankruptcy lawyer and the lawyer told me that I was technically judgment proof since my job income was too low to be legally garnished and my SSDI could not be legally garnished, and advised against bankruptcy for me because of that. I will try contacting another lawyer soon.

My new phone will not arrive until Monday, and I will be socially isolated all weekend long because of that.

I still am able to reach people using my work cell phone, but I have none of their phone numbers since all of that information was on my personal cell phone, and I have no landline.

I feel insanely depressed. Not just because of the finances, but because of the isolation, the commute, the bad decision I made with my phone yesterday which really makes me an idiot, the lack of transportation on weekends due to bus cuts, the fact that collectors have started to contact me and my family, the fact that there is only condiments in my fridge currently, the fact that I am surrounded with material possessions I tried to cheer myself up with and they only sit there mocking me.

Time to get smart and assert your rights. Within 5 days of the initial contact the collectors must provide you with a validation letter. Check that what you owe is valid , and if not, dispute it. They are not allowed to repeatedly call you. AND, DO NOT PAY ANYTHING OR YOU ARE ADMITTING THAT YOU OWE THEM THE ENTIRE SUM. If you or your family feel that their tactics are abusive you should file a complaint with the federal CFPB, and your State's Attorney General's Ombudsman's Office.

Start by reading this and assert your rights: How to Deal With Debt Collectors in 3 Steps - NerdWallet

 

[Metalhead]

Time to get smart and assert your rights. Within 5 days of the initial contact the collectors must provide you with a validation letter. Check that what you owe is valid , and if not, dispute it. They are not allowed to repeatedly call you. AND, DO NOT PAY ANYTHING OR YOU ARE ADMITTING THAT YOU OWE THEM THE ENTIRE SUM. If you or your family feel that their tactics are abusive you should file a complaint with the federal CFPB, and your State's Attorney General's Ombudsman's Office.

Start by reading this and assert your rights: How to Deal With Debt Collectors in 3 Steps - NerdWallet

Thanks for the link and the info. One debt collection agency called me and was extremely vague about who they were, then they demanded the last four digits of my SSN, which I refused to give to them. These were the same people who called my parents and my sister, and they claimed they were trying to clear up a personal business matter and they also refused to give me the full name of their agency when I asked them for it. That should be illegal.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Thanks for the link and the info. One debt collection agency called me and was extremely vague about who they were, then they demanded the last four digits of my SSN, which I refused to give to them. These were the same people who called my parents and my sister, and they claimed they were trying to clear up a personal business matter and they also refused to give me the full name of their agency when I asked them for it. That should be illegal.

Yes it is. This behavior is reportable to the CFPB and your Attorney General. They are not allowed to call anybody but you and you need to make it clear that this is the case, and if they do not identify theirselves nobody should talk to them. If they call again remind them that they have 5 days from first contact to send you a Validation Letter and do not talk to them unless you receive it. I hope you will be empowered to fight for yourself. If you cannot be garnished, then it would be expensive for them to take legal action and they may become desperately abusive. Keep a record of contacts(date/time) and notes like you just described.

I was once faced with dunning calls. I got a beeper that sounded off every 30 seconds and started out telling them the call was being recorded (it wasn't). That chilled them completely.

 

[Aspychata]

Oh boy. This was hard to read. We are purposely groomed to buy on credit. We are groomed to feel empty unless we get that dopamine rush of buying another new thing to get another hit. The phone is a perfect tool to promote the brainwashing of staying in credit card debit. The whole system is geared to keep people down and under control by being credit card slaves. I am like you. I have vowed to pay off all my cards and have no credit card debit. I feel so free every time another card is gone. I soon will have only one card. I paid off two years of past taxes. Sure, it took about seven years. I ate a lot ramen. Lol

Sometimes you do feel low. But think of your goals. Make it a point to wipe that debit out. Drink responsibly and don't beat yourself up. Millions upon millions of people are in credit card debit. You can stop it now. Vow not to buy anything. Maybe see if there is a free bartering service, a lot of people give free things on Craigslist. Bundle up your collections and sell them on Ebay. Make a difference. Don't be a slave to consumerism.

 

[Suzette]

the fact that collectors have started to contact me and my family,

Ahghh! It is ILLEGAL for creditors to contact your family concerning your debt unless they cosigned on that debt. Full stop! If a family member tells you a creditor called them, tell them to say "It is illegal ror you to contact me. Do not call again." They don't have to threaten legal action. The creditor will stop calling. Creditor also can not contact your employer or other employees!

Also, do not talk to your creditors. When they call you, don't answer! That is your legal right.

 

[Metalhead]

Oh boy. This was hard to read. We are purposely groomed to buy on credit. We are groomed to feel empty unless we get that dopamine rush of buying another new thing to get another hit. The phone is a perfect tool to promote the brainwashing of staying in credit card debit. The whole system is geared to keep people down and under control by being credit card slaves. I am like you. I have vowed to pay off all my cards and have no credit card debit. I feel so free every time another card is gone. I soon will have only one card. I paid off two years of past taxes. Sure, it took about seven years. I ate a lot ramen. Lol

Sometimes you do feel low. But think of your goals. Make it a point to wipe that debit out. Drink responsibly and don't beat yourself up. Millions upon millions of people are in credit card debit. You can stop it now. Vow not to buy anything. Maybe see if there is a free bartering service, a lot of people give free things on Craigslist. Bundle up your collections and sell them on Ebay. Make a difference. Don't be a slave to consumerism.

I had zero debt back when I had an active social life three years ago. Then the pandemic came and my life got destroyed by it. It is not an excuse, but it is a reason. I racked up $8000 in debt over three retail cards. One of them now has collectors calling my family because they refused to work with my debt management program I signed up for.

$8000 is a lot of money for somebody with limited income such as myself. That was not my wisest decision.

I am an addict. I am addicted to shopping. I am addicted to alcohol. I am addicted to gathering material junk. And this is where it has placed me. I was a slave to consumerism for the last couple of years. No more. I have to put my foot down now. Consumerism did not fill up the hole in my heart that the pandemic helped to create.

 

[Metalhead]

I am no longer feeling suicidal.

But I am feeling like things have to change in my life ASAP if I want to gain some sanity.

Throwing my phone against a store wall was an insane action. I was not in a right mind yesterday. I was in full-blown meltdown mode. And the card getting rejected in itself was just the tiny straw that broke my back.

I need to figure out a way to rebuild my social circle. I need to sell some of my material possessions. I need to figure out how to get the creditors off my back. I need to change my lifestyle completely. I spend too much time alone in my house, browsing Amazon and Instacart, isolated from social ties with a credit card in hand. I spend too much time on the Internet in general. I have not even watched most of the movies or played most of the games I have purchased in the last couple of years.

 

[Aspychata]

This sounds like a plan. Free yourself. One day at a time. You understand yourself. You are working on yourself. Just like me. I work on myself everyday. My dear grandmother who was really my mother told me: l practice **moderation** everyday. Perhaps use this as your goal. Moderation of spending, drinking, friend-ing, gaming, commuting, and anything else to throw into there. Addiction is possible to retrain but only if you realize it and decide to work on it. Some of it is chemical, so you gotta work a little harder with a little less. My life has been boring but l am excited to enter in to a debt free zone. Alot of people hate their jobs. Hate their spouses and so on. We all bleed the same.

Once you pay off debit (don't think about how long) you can then put emergency fund aside. Then you can start savings for old age. Your job may not be the best. But it's paying off debit. Go be the best you can at your job. Because sometimes bad jobs lead to better paying jobs. Try to live life with purpose. Your mom tried to purpose your life and she failed. You left. Now your life is free and you need to greet everyday with a passion. Somewhere along the line, your passion will be recognized. It maybe a life partner, it maybe a better job. Treat everyday as if it's your last day on earth.

Once you become more accepting of yourself, perhaps you can see more possibilities opening up. If you are closed in your thinking, you won't move forward. Sometimes a possibility will present itself thru good timing, but if you are too wrapped in yourself, you can't focus on it. Alot of things happen by chance or timing.

Nobody said life was easy. Some cultures believe our struggles are what defines us. Our struggles make us better people. What a weird concept.

 

[VictorR]

It sounds like you like having some form of excitement, and when you stopped getting from social interactions, you filled the gap with retail therapy - the excitement of finding, buying, and waiting for and getting packages.

How about we turn that around - where the game, instead of buying, is selling.

When I was in college, I had an map of America, and I'd put a pin in it each time I sold something. As I started to get more states checked off, it was exciting, waiting to see what came next, and to list more and more items, in hopes I'd get a sale that'd check off another state and the high that came with that thrill.

I did end up completing all 50 states along with DC and PR.

 

[tree]

I am no longer feeling suicidal.

But I am feeling like things have to change in my life ASAP if I want to gain some sanity...

I need to figure out a way to rebuild my social circle. I need to sell some of my material possessions. I need to figure out how to get the creditors off my back. I need to change my lifestyle completely. I spend too much time alone in my house, browsing Amazon and Instacart, isolated from social ties with a credit card in hand. I spend too much time on the Internet in general. I have not even watched most of the movies or played most of the games I have purchased in the last couple of years.

How to have less stuff | Psyche Guides

The idea of the contracts in the *What to Do* section
looks useful. If you are a person who can keep to
promises that you make to yourself.

 

[Slim Jim]

I think with our, you know, with our economic system, and tax structure and all that, I don't think it's possible, ever, to just retire and never work, you know ... you know, because the economy keeps increasing; if you drop out of the economy, then it just passes you up you know, in a couple of years and you're left high and dry. I don't think you ... I don't think it's possible to retire in a capitalistic society.

 

[Metalhead]

How to have less stuff | Psyche Guides

The idea of the contracts in the *What to Do* section
looks useful. If you are a person who can keep to
promises that you make to yourself.

Thanks for the very useful link.

I was starting to feel like the things I own were actually owning me instead.

 

[Jeff T]

We're human.
We screw up.
A lot.
In looking back 60 years, there are thousands of points where I chose the wrong path.
Sometimes I learned from the screw ups.

You've realized the errors of your path- that's a big first step.
Now you can try to avoid those misdirects more.
You'll still make mistakes, but less of those
Two steps forward, one step back- still, it is progress.

When I'm down, sometimes I look at youtube video- "Zebra Mara River"
No matter how bad things get, I realize we're doing a lot better than that poor Zebra.