My friends want to waste their effort in finding me a job, even though it's hopeless.

[thejuice]

Security guard. For several years it was the only work I could find. It doesn't take any people skills.

I'd like a security guard job but I'd certainly sleep on the job!

 

[Hypnalis]

I'm tired of hearing crap that it's my fault.

Are you actually being told it's your fault by everyone?

Fault is usually used in a negative way. And even if it's not, it's always always interpreted that way.

But if it's reframed to "your life situation is due to your nature", and used as the valid reason for e.g. getting financial support, the meaning is functionally the same, but it doesn't have the negative connotation.

Which leads to a very common problem with complaints about the details of one's personal life situation.
Society works differently for M and F here (which is quite funny in the 21st century, since there a large minority that builds their entire world-view on such things being impossible /lol).

Complaining / Trauma dumping to guys carries the assumption that you want help. 80+ percent of guys will see it as a problem to solve. This is where you are now .....
.... but you didn't follow protocol, and now you're not happy with the outcome.
There's a way to talk about things that can't be changed, and a different way to talk about things that can be changed.

The case with women is different. They have the opposite expectation: they assume the intention is to talk about something, and that the speaker is looking for "support". 80+ percent of women will see complaining / trauma dumping as a request for a supportive discussion.
Again there are protocols, but the rules are reversed: they'll get support unless they positively indicate they want a solution.

This is a well-known issue with M/F communication. And probably the best known counter-argument to the claim that women have more EQ than men /lol.

Of course now I've said you're to blame for a new thing

But I've told often enough that you should:
(a) Quit using trauma dumping as a primary topic of conversation
(b) Work on your communication skills. You can definitely (100%) improve these, with a fairly good "return on time/effort" early on. It will help with (a) almost immediately.

You are certainly capable of doing these things. You should do them.

Anyway, don't blame me for applying the "guy-centric" problem-solving approach to what you posted. I am what I am. I almost never do support, and if a women looks to me for it, I tell them so, with an abbreviated version of what I said above to set the context.
FWIW this has never had a socially negative effect, and has often had a (small-scale) positive outcome.

PS
Guys looking for support from other guys, and not getting it, is also a common thing. There are a lot of these gender-related communication biases, and both M and F can display any of them - neither side of the [X% / 100-X%] split is ever close to 100 or 0.
I described this one as I did because it's one of the most entertaining: it's very well known, but issues arise from it very frequently.

In a perfect world, stuff like this would be taught in schools. And if communication skills of that kind were taught, life would be easier for many ASDs.

 

[Au Naturel]

There's a way to talk about things that can't be changed, and a different way to talk about things that can be changed.

Bingo!

If something cannot be changed then, if you do anything, the only good option is to give emotional support.

Oftentimes I will see something that I think could be changed. However, the person experiencing the problem will deny that it can be changed. It doesn't matter at that point whether something actually could be changed since the person with the problem can't/won't see it. And just because you think you see a solution doesn't mean it will actually work for them. They aren't you.

Emotional support is not a problem for me - if I remember to turn off the analytical engine. Unless there is an explicit request for suggestions, I will always default to emotional support.

 

[paloftoon]

It sounds like some issues at home are contributing to this. My mom was a passive-aggressive control freak, which is frigging irritating. It can be extremely frustrating.

This can totally be more than irritating.
I think in this context, this OP is in his 40s and still living with his parents. This is probably irritating to the parents too. When you can't fend for yourself, you have to live with the rules of your family.

'==============


The attitude about getting a job needs to change. More money allows you to enjoy your life more, and it is healthy for the mind and soul. You don't have to like your job, but it would be nice if you do. Schooling generally costs money- so I'd say the OP should focus on getting and maintaining a PT job. Janitor work is great to learn on the spot as we need many cleaners. You may not like the work, but you will get used to it. It may want to make you deal with taking care of messes promptly (hopefully). Wear a mask if you need to- it's totally acceptable to do so now!!

Also, there has been complaining about dates before. Getting a job and trying to keep a job makes a person attractive. Most people don't want a bum who has to live with his parents as a potential mate. Maybe if you're a hot looking jock that could be a model, then maybe.

If you're open to more casual play, that may be an option so that you have room to express your urges in some manner. I would suggest having condoms and asking your doctor about Prep.