My husband seems to have no sexual morals?

[Ylva]

strings attached but also liked the danger as red light district had a lot of police around

What danger? Prostitution is legal there.

He told me I was over reacting, I had self esteem issues and therefore needed counselling. I don't have self esteem issues but he is always adamant that he is right and I am always wrong and at one point I did believe I was insecure and I was a bit mad because he kept telling me it was me, not him that was in the wrong.

Gaslighting is an abuse tactic, not an autism trait. Allistics do a lot more of it than autistics.

He can't do hypothetical situations, he just doesn't understand how a hypothetical situation in a conversation works

This could be him being a PoS on purpose. Guess it could be some kind of learning disability (also not a trait of autism) or brain damage or something else that makes it not his fault, but given all the other stuff he is probably just being a $hit.

He has mental health issues. We had an argument, he lost his temper and he saw red.

Personality disorder? Difference is that mental health can be improved, but a personality disorder is pretty much a part of who you are. I used to know a narcissistic psychopath who was relatively cold, but saw nothing wrong with wanting to murder people because they were annoying. Hope it's not that bad.

 

[Tom]

Tbh, I couldn't even finish your first post. Too disturbing. I think his issues are way past aspergers, if he even has it.

 

[Ambi]

Okay.......so you actually came to a forum full of people with ASD and expected us to explain that his immoral behavior is indeed due to his ASD? That yeah, we're all like that?

In case it isn't clear, no - ASD does not make your husband immoral.

 

[Shonda]

He hasn't been formally diagnosed with ASD, so maybe you guys should work on getting a formal diagnosis just for peace of mine. Either way, ASD does not necessarily mean he will exhibit unusual sexual behaviors. Role playing can be an aspect of NT and aspie relationships, but cheating should be an aspect of neither.

 

[WifeofASD]

Okay.......so you actually came to a forum full of people with ASD and expected us to explain that his immoral behavior is indeed due to his ASD? That yeah, we're all like that?



In case it isn't clear, no - ASD does not make your husband immoral.

No, no, that is not what I meant at all. I know sexual immorality is not an ASD trait!

 

[WifeofASD]

Thank you for all your comments. You have helped clarify my situation for me. Much appreciated
Ps. Happy new year!!

 

[Fitzo]

I hope you'll take notice of the comments you've received here, although I suspect you won't. Clearly your therapist holds grave concerns for you and your children and she knows much more than any of us. Please listen rather than wait til something really bad happens. And don't assume he isn't a narcissist because his mother doesn't think so. Mother's are notoriously bad at seeing only what they want to see and ignoring the rest. Think about the long term welfare of your children, if you don't consider yourself. He will NOT change - he will only get worse.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Nobody is one-dimensional. A person can be autistic or non-autistic and also be kind or rude, aggressive or passive, artistic/analytical/both/neither, asexual/straight/gay/masochistic or anything else.

Whether he is autistic or not, it neither fully explains not excuses in the least his behavior toward you. A relationship is two-way and should work for both people involved. If it isn't working for you, get out.

You should prepare yourself for him to react badly (this is an understatement). See a lawyer before you give him any hint of wanting to break it off. Find out about protecting your assets, especially those you both have access to. See a counselor and also consider looking for local organizations that help abused women. Identify which friends you can confide in and rely on for help. The question isn't which resource you should go to for help - the question is how many you can get.

 

[WereBear]

Wanted for nothing

It turns out spoiling can create a psychopath as much as neglect does. The case of Scott Peterson, who killed his pregnant wife, Laci, is one such. He was a very spoiled boy. And became a spoiled man.

Get out. Very carefully.

 

[MonolithImmortal]

I agree with everyone else, he's a dangerous person, GET OUT. You and your child will be better for it.

 

[ftfipps]

Hey I used to date a woman whose husband acted exactly like your husband is acting. He turned out to be a sociopath. Just thought I'd pass that along.