My Parents Don't Allow me on Discord, for OTHER People's Langauge

[anxiety247]

[IDK where else to post this. You can correct it if needed.]
Apparently, I am no longer on Discord. Wanna know why? My parents spied on my Discord account and noticed that I was in several servers where people where using r-rated language. I'm 16, not 6. I'm also only half a year away from being allowed in R-rated movies and purchasing M-rated games from Gamestop on my own. I don't understand why they stopped allowing me on Discord just for that silly reason. They're being overprotective.

They also don't allow me to watch YouTube on the computer for that same reason. I'm not a small child. I'm mature enough to handle explicit language. As long as there is no offensive slang said, I am completely fine with it. I'm not overly sensitive to it like they are. I also don't even use it, myself.

I wonder why language OTHER people use in servers I'm in would be an actual concern. It's not like everybody was using vulgarity every sentence they said. In fact, they overly exaggerated it. They see/hear the f-wordonce in something I am reading or watching, and they freak out and tell me to turn it off/close the site. I don't get it.

Also, I have several friends who I can contact ONLY through Discord. They basically removed access from those friends. I brought that up and they told me, "So?" They pretty much sound like they don't care about me not being able to talk to my good friends. I also have my own Discord server. Yes, I do have mods, but, since I am the server owner, they rely on me to make major decisions.

I don't get how this is rational in any way. What can I say to change their mind?

If I were you, I’d try to find a way to get back into discord without them knowing, maybe ask a friend for help if you only share a device with your parents. Another thing you could do is get a hold of your discord friends that way and find another way to communicate.

You could mention on your server about your issue and that you may be absent for some time (until you are old enough).

That really sucks though that your parents are that strict. I know it sounds like bad advice to sneak around your parents but you are honestly not doing anything wrong by being on discord. Bad words are everywhere, if they want to keep you from seeing or hearing that stuff they can just lock you up and never let you be a normal human being.

Sorry I get a little mad when I hear about parents doing these things

 

[anxiety247]

I remember when my parents caught me saying a lot of bad words while talking to someone from my class online in elementary school.

They were mad at first until they noticed the conversation and saw that the guy was being a huge butthole.

Not that it was still alright for me to be using those words but my dad was more like “I see why you used those words” and they stopped being mad and told me to try not to use them anymore no matter how mad someone made me.

Since they weren’t super strict about it, I think I used up a fair share of bad words when I was younger and as you can see now I use words like butthole rather than asshole because I chose to, and not forced to by my parents. I feel like I would be swearing more now if my parents had been super strict about it

 

[Fino]

When I was about 8, I said, "Mommy, what's *f word* mean?"

We were walking when I asked and she suddenly froze and it looked like someone petrified her, like in Harry Potter, then she hysterically demanded where I heard that word and didn't believe me when I told her who said it.

And my dad told me many times that only stupid people curse, although didn't say it in exactly those words, just with that meaning every time.

And then I felt like I physically couldn't curse, until some kids in school somehow realized I don't curse and hit me until I cursed, which felt awful to do, and now I never curse, stills feel like I physically can't.

What is with people and cursing!? So strange that these random words could be perceived so negatively. I want to read a book about the history of cursing.

 

[Misery]

When I was about 8, I said, "Mommy, what's *f word* mean?"

We were walking when I asked and she suddenly froze and it looked like someone petrified her, like in Harry Potter, then she hysterically demanded where I heard that word and didn't believe me when I told her who said it.

And my dad told me many times that only stupid people curse, although didn't say it in exactly those words, just with that meaning every time.

And then I felt like I physically couldn't curse, until some kids in school somehow realized I don't curse and hit me until I cursed, which felt awful to do, and now I never curse, stills feel like I physically can't.

What is with people and cursing!? So strange that these random words could be perceived so negatively. I want to read a book about the history of cursing.

Oh geez, that reminds me of something from childhood.

My younger brother must have been like... 3? 4? Anyway, he still had alot to learn about talking and communicating, right?

"Fire truck". Every single time he said it... EVERY time... it came out as "Fire #%(&". A couple of decades later and it's STILL hilarious. I had to pause after typing that due to too much giggling.

Even funnier, was the fact that my parents thought this was totally hilarious and would try to get him to demonstrate this amazing talent for various family members. "Watch this. Hey little guy, say fire truck for me" "Fire #^$&!" *everybody laughs* Cousin: "That's hilarious. Do it again, say fire truck" "Fire #&$%!" *more laughing* Someone else: "Come on, you can do better than that, shout it with me: FIRE TRUUUUUCK!!!!" "FIRE #)%&#^@*%%(@#!!!!!"

I'm still sitting here trying really hard not to laugh as I type that.


Other than that... yeah, I dont really curse much myself. I'm much more likely to shout random nonsense syllables when overly angry. Mostly it's because all those f-bombs and such are so freaking overused. Particularly on Youtube where everyone thinks they have to do it at all times.

 

[Pats]

It's the exposure. They don't want you desensitized. You hear something so much it becomes an every day thing and you no longer see it as wrong. Only trying to protect you as much as they can, but I'm sure they realize they can't protect you completely. There is one problem with being over-protective, though. Most often when a child isn't exposed to anything 'worldly', then as soon as they get out into the world many things happen. They don't know how to handle it. They go crazy themselves with interest and experimentation with things that were kept from them and so on.
When my youngest daughter was around 13 she got me kicked off AOL messenger a couple times because of her language. I never used curse words and my kids knew not to in front of me. I was shocked when we got kicked off AOL (but also a little funny). My son said we needed to wash her fingers off with soap. LOL

 

[Pats]

When I was about 8, I said, "Mommy, what's *f word* mean?"

We were walking when I asked and she suddenly froze and it looked like someone petrified her, like in Harry Potter, then she hysterically demanded where I heard that word and didn't believe me when I told her who said it.

And my dad told me many times that only stupid people curse, although didn't say it in exactly those words, just with that meaning every time.

And then I felt like I physically couldn't curse, until some kids in school somehow realized I don't curse and hit me until I cursed, which felt awful to do, and now I never curse, stills feel like I physically can't.

What is with people and cursing!? So strange that these random words could be perceived so negatively. I want to read a book about the history of cursing.

The first part was funny - I'm sorry about the second part.
I did read an interesting paper once on curse words. It was about if you don't use them all the time, when you're upset it's a release and useful. Of course, that's not the case if you use them all the time and they're just part of your vocabulary. I don't curse, and when I was young I'd be laughed at for saying Oh my goodness or dog gone it, but I can't say I have NEVER cursed - just not part of my nature.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

When I was about 8, I said, "Mommy, what's *f word* mean?"

We were walking when I asked and she suddenly froze and it looked like someone petrified her, like in Harry Potter, then she hysterically demanded where I heard that word and didn't believe me when I told her who said it.

And my dad told me many times that only stupid people curse, although didn't say it in exactly those words, just with that meaning every time.

And then I felt like I physically couldn't curse, until some kids in school somehow realized I don't curse and hit me until I cursed, which felt awful to do, and now I never curse, stills feel like I physically can't.

What is with people and cursing!? So strange that these random words could be perceived so negatively. I want to read a book about the history of cursing.

There is a Vsauce video on that. As it turns out, it has to do with class, so these arbitrary rules are due to classism.

 

[Graphin]

I can't comprehend what is actually happening.

 

[Catticus]

Here is something to rattle their cage, a way to stop and make them think. If they dont want you communicating or on the internet, then tell them that means no school right?
The kids swear alot, the schools offer internet for learning. So why not boycott school too??
I am thinking this might either get you home schooled or get a little tension taken off you. Basically I think they want you to keep your innocense a little longer, but what do I know.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Here is something to rattle their cage, a way to stop and make them think. If they dont want you communicating or on the internet, then tell them that means no school right?
The kids swear alot, the schools offer internet for learning. So why not boycott school too??
I am thinking this might either get you home schooled or get a little tension taken off you. Basically I think they want you to keep your innocense a little longer, but what do I know.

I was actually speaking of brick and mortar middle school, which was in the past. Currently, I am in online high school.