umbrellabeach
Well-Known Member
You would not believe how many rants and speeches I have made up in my head and not been able to say out loud because no one will listen to me for that long in RL. I've decided to write them in the word program on my laptop, to store them there, and maybe post them as Facebook notes for the people I interact with to see.
So far I've written only one and haven't quite got the guts to post it on FB yet, but I'll post it and future rants here in this thread on Aspergic.
My first one, I call "On Standards."
In November 2009 I went to youth group at my church, just like I do every Wednesday evening. Youth group is usually frustrating for me because, being an Aspie, I'm the naturally excluded type of person who never gets listened to or even noticed unless I'm in trouble or supposed to fulfill some sort of duty. When it was over I complained to a friend of mine, who then happened to be the youth leader, about how she and everyone else would listen to each other but not to me, even if the other person started talking when I had started first and was in the middle of a sentence.
Apparently I thought she was more understanding than she really was. The next thing I knew she was lecturing me. It was a very long, rambling speech and I can't remember much of it now, but the main things I do remember, the important parts, are, "You shouldn't expect us to listen to you, because we're only human; we can't do that... And you need to stop HOLDING PEOPLE TO STANDARDS. You need to stop!"
Whenever one of her very rare pauses between sentences came, I tried to tell her what I thought about it - my view - but she wouldn't listen; instead, she simply cut me off and continued speeching like she does every other time I try to talk to her. I think she actually said that she couldn't listen to everyone talking at once, but isn't that why we were taught as children to take turns? I think that goes for conversation too, not just games and activities. During this time she and I were the only two people in the room, but she still wouldn't listen to me.
When I went home afterward I was confused by everything she'd told me. I didn't know what to think, but what I did know was that it had been mistake to try to tell her my problem and think she would be sympathetic or understanding. I also knew that I felt pretty misanthropic.
So wanting to be listened to, just as other people my own age (and younger) are, is holding people up to impossible standards and expectations? That's like saying expecting the same from me (which everyone does) is holding me up to standards, and it's certainly not. I do have trouble hearing what someone is trying to say to me if someone louder is talking over him or if the's a quiet person in a room full of noisy people, but I still TRY to listen, instead of just ignoring and getting distracted, and if I can't hear him there I'll ask him to write it down or talk again once the noisy people are gone. I wouldn't just ignore him. That's STUPID! Being loud or in authority doesn't automatically mean you're always right (unless you're God) and shouldn't listen to anyone else, and people shouldn't take advantage of either.
Another thing that really irritates me is that sometimes I'll be talking to one person and we'll be having a great conversation, but then someone else comes along and just interrupts our conversation instead of waiting for us to be done. Even worse, the person I was conversing with often starts talking to them instead. Can't anyone see that the person they want to talk to is talking to someone else? It's obvious to me; they're standing next to each other, usually facing each other, and talking. That means they're having a conversation. Yet those same people scold us younger people for interrupting their conversations.
My conclusion is she's just full of pride and conceit, and making up excuses for ignoring me. The reason she wouldn't let me talk is that she knows I'm right and she's wrong; she just won't admit it. Well, who cares? She moved away, thankfully, and I don't have to deal with her stupidity anymore. I'm going to unfriend her on Facebook soon so I won't even have to put up with her there.
So far I've written only one and haven't quite got the guts to post it on FB yet, but I'll post it and future rants here in this thread on Aspergic.
My first one, I call "On Standards."
In November 2009 I went to youth group at my church, just like I do every Wednesday evening. Youth group is usually frustrating for me because, being an Aspie, I'm the naturally excluded type of person who never gets listened to or even noticed unless I'm in trouble or supposed to fulfill some sort of duty. When it was over I complained to a friend of mine, who then happened to be the youth leader, about how she and everyone else would listen to each other but not to me, even if the other person started talking when I had started first and was in the middle of a sentence.
Apparently I thought she was more understanding than she really was. The next thing I knew she was lecturing me. It was a very long, rambling speech and I can't remember much of it now, but the main things I do remember, the important parts, are, "You shouldn't expect us to listen to you, because we're only human; we can't do that... And you need to stop HOLDING PEOPLE TO STANDARDS. You need to stop!"
Whenever one of her very rare pauses between sentences came, I tried to tell her what I thought about it - my view - but she wouldn't listen; instead, she simply cut me off and continued speeching like she does every other time I try to talk to her. I think she actually said that she couldn't listen to everyone talking at once, but isn't that why we were taught as children to take turns? I think that goes for conversation too, not just games and activities. During this time she and I were the only two people in the room, but she still wouldn't listen to me.
When I went home afterward I was confused by everything she'd told me. I didn't know what to think, but what I did know was that it had been mistake to try to tell her my problem and think she would be sympathetic or understanding. I also knew that I felt pretty misanthropic.
So wanting to be listened to, just as other people my own age (and younger) are, is holding people up to impossible standards and expectations? That's like saying expecting the same from me (which everyone does) is holding me up to standards, and it's certainly not. I do have trouble hearing what someone is trying to say to me if someone louder is talking over him or if the's a quiet person in a room full of noisy people, but I still TRY to listen, instead of just ignoring and getting distracted, and if I can't hear him there I'll ask him to write it down or talk again once the noisy people are gone. I wouldn't just ignore him. That's STUPID! Being loud or in authority doesn't automatically mean you're always right (unless you're God) and shouldn't listen to anyone else, and people shouldn't take advantage of either.
Another thing that really irritates me is that sometimes I'll be talking to one person and we'll be having a great conversation, but then someone else comes along and just interrupts our conversation instead of waiting for us to be done. Even worse, the person I was conversing with often starts talking to them instead. Can't anyone see that the person they want to talk to is talking to someone else? It's obvious to me; they're standing next to each other, usually facing each other, and talking. That means they're having a conversation. Yet those same people scold us younger people for interrupting their conversations.
My conclusion is she's just full of pride and conceit, and making up excuses for ignoring me. The reason she wouldn't let me talk is that she knows I'm right and she's wrong; she just won't admit it. Well, who cares? She moved away, thankfully, and I don't have to deal with her stupidity anymore. I'm going to unfriend her on Facebook soon so I won't even have to put up with her there.
Certainly not in the demanding manner they try to get it from you just by telling you to.
