My self-esteem has been ruined because of a stupidity and I can't get over it.

[Mr Allen]

Exactly, the whole Internet is full of people who clearly don't have a life beyond trolling on social media in general and generally being as offensive as the Mods will let them get away with.

 

[SunnyDay16]

As much as the internet can be a place of positivity and empowerment, it is also a place where mean people circlejerk each other and get their thrill from being a-holes to people without being held accountable for anything. The great thing about the internet though is that you can pretty much choose where you go and what people you talk to, which isn't so true in real life.

 

[Tom]

Whether in the real world or online, you have to learn to cut away the rotten parts.

 

[Judge]

Very cool to have built your own PC at your age. That's a big accomplishment and no one can take that away from you. Not even stuffy cliques.

I didn't start building them until I was in my 30s!

Welcome to AF.

 

[Bronzelincolns]

those two guys are losers. honestly I feel sorry for them. you got a dumb Pc master race rig. wow, you really made a difference in the world.

if you're able to build computers you have real life marketable skills as you've already mentioned you have been paid for what you do.

to be honest with you, a $500 computer isn't going to be all that great, but who cares? it does what you want it to do and you worked hard to get it under your circumstances.

seriously though, these guys picking on you are LOSERS. if they weren't ragging on people over a stupid computer they'd probably be left to realize how pathetic their lives are and kill themselves. you're better than these chumps as you have something that can actually benefit other people.

 

[Xarnett7]

I haven't posted in a while but I think what I'm about to tell y'all is pretty important.

Sorry for the punctuation mistakes. my laptop's comma key broke a while ago and I couldn't fix it.
A period and a normal letter right next to it is a "comma".
A period and a capital letter is. well. pretty obvious.



I joined the server (again) for the 28710371932743th time (I regret doing that).
Everything seemed to go fine at first. people noticed that I changed my behavior a bit and I was acting more adequately. i also complained less and simply socialized better.

Hold on. today was a bad day.

I was talking with a friend of mine about how idiotic a staff member was (one of the people who trolled me or whatever). He told me to send the "offender" a photo of the country's inflation and see if he's going to care about it. I was convinced that he would just ignore that and get the "you are an attention seeker and you're just playing the victim card again" excuse out.

I sent him the image today and. just as I expected. he didn't care and got the excuses out:

After he said bye. he blocked me and got angry about it so I went to the server and complained. I publicaly said that he hated me (sure he does). This is where the argue began:

There were swear words everywhere. However I DID NOT insult him directly and NEVER asked to get computer parts:

That's where I got banned from the server (permanently). apart from banning me because of what just happened. i also intentionally asked to get banned so I can get away from the server as much as I can and forget everything.

After I got banned. i talked to another friend so I could see what he thought about all of this. he said that he wanted me unbanned and tried to convince staff. this is what he told me:

He showed me this part of one of the conversations he had with him.

After a few moments. the """offender""" unblocked me for whatever reason and talked to him again in direct messages:

There were more swear words.
Daniel asked me in a crude way what was wrong with me......

That sure was a bad idea.
Again. I can't get over it and I keep trying and trying and trying without success.
This is the first time he treated me THAT bad.

 

[Bolletje]

Why did you join again in the first place? And then contact someone you had trouble with before, to start up an old argument? You could have known that this was the way it was going to play out.

If you want to get over things, you shouldn’t actively seek them out and re-ignite things.

 

[Autistamatic]

@Xarnett7 There are times in life where the best, even the ONLY course of action is to just leave it and walk away. I think this is one of them. I know you want to put it right and you want to know why this guy is so angry with you, but he's either not going to tell you or he thinks he has done already.
None of us want to see you hurting, so please just put this fight down to experience, let it lie and move on with your life. Some people just cannot be reasoned with.
You're not going to be able to fix this situation, so stop torturing yourself by trying.

 

[SunnyDay16]

Stop seeking out these people. They aren't your friends. It's OK to be upset with how things played out, but not a good idea to try to argue your case if they aren't willing to listen and consider your point of view.

 

[Xarnett7]

Update

I feel so wrong. I am still thinking about all this fiasco and the typical advice of ignoring peeps doesn't help.

Every time I get on these forums I think of yet another issue I had with staff on DM about the pictures with profanity I posted in my last reply. I just think that (s)he treated me like a parent beating a child. (sure I am going to get another warning because I am talking about staff unfairness on a public post).

When I got warned that day I felt so uncomfortable because all the Daniel stupidity happened the same day as the profanity warn.

Anyways as I stated above (and the title of this entire thread in general): My self-esteem has been ruined because of a stupidity and I can't get over it.

also i'm still banned from the server and now i want to get unbanned. this is just an endless loop of drama.

also yes i read this forum's rules several times now.

 

[Xarnett7]

Thing happened. The mentioned Twitter conversation is filled with profanity. If you REALLY want to see that then just find my account on your own. Not linking anything here.

The following image is a very formal and not aggressive message I sent using an alt to the server (had to do it. really want to get along with them)

i simply don't know what to do with my life at this point.

Update: server owner banned by alt. great.

 

[Crossbreed]

@Xarnett7 ,
I'm sorry that you have run into so much trouble.

I am a semi-retired programmer & electronic technician. My strategy (and those of many small business people) is to buy computer that does what I need it to, when I need a new one. I use it until it dies (usually about 5+ years) and, then, buy the next one using the same rationale.

That means 80+% of the time, my computer is not state-of-the-art. As long as it serves my needs, it doesn't need to be.

I have a term for the compulsion to always have the newest computer:
Keeping Up with the Clones[es]...!

That is too expensive for most people and not cost effective.

 

[Xarnett7]

Yeah, doing things like upgrading to an iPhone Tennis Max from an iPhone Xpensive is ridiculous. I'm fine with my current PC.

 

[Nauti]

We all make mistakes. Every human does. The important thing is to.learn.from your mistakes.
Building self esteem is about accepting yourself even when you do stuff that, in hindsight, you wished you had done differently.
It's about accepting reality as it is.
We can't change the things we've done in the past, and we can't make other people treat us the way we would like them to treat us, but we can learn to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion and understanding.

You are, clearly, highly intelligent and skilled.

My boyfriend, and I, are both Aspie, he is a great computer tech, but we don't have much money. I don't worry when he puts old motherboards and processors and monitors together, even if they are old and cheap. He is the best person in the world, to me. I can't build computers. I don't know a thing about them, really.
I admire people who do.

I live in a wealthy country and I am very lucky, but I've still suffered plenty of disadvantage. I was a homeless kid and treated badly by people for lots and lots of years. I learnt to build up my own self esteem though. I treat people kindly and with respect and if I don't feel that I can, I just avoid them. I work really, really hard to learn to be social. And it pays off, in the long run. Even if other's judge me or think that I'm too weird or something, at least I know how hard I've worked to build on my deficits and improve my social skills.
I read and watch movies and YouTube to help me understand how to relate to other's, better. But my best friends are other people on the spectrum or people with other neurodiversity issues and trauma issues, because I.can relate to them better. We have more in common.

My boyfriend stopped hanging around with other computer technicians because they didn't treat him very well. He deserved better. I have been able to support him and help him boost his self esteem so that he realised he deserved to be treated better than.his comp tech "friends" treated him.
I think you need to spend more time with people who boost you up, not tear you down. Be kind to yourself and listen to kind people.
You have intrinsic value and heaps going for you, you just have to cultivate faith and belief in yourself and kindness.

 

[Mary Lyn]

I waited since 2010 to get that PC

Since you were 5 years old. Really??

 

[Xarnett7]

Yeah. Also before computers I was a christmas lights and stereo box addict.