Near altercation at work...I can't be the only one

[tducey]

Think it happens to everyone- Both Aspies and non-Aspies. Thing is not to ignore it but just maintain a level head, don't stoop to their level.

 

[Mr Allen]

I had a situation at my last job, which has been discussed before on here, basically I had a long running feud with a Colleague who eventually went too far and insulted me for being deaf! By rights I should've kicked his annoying arse, but I maintained my calm, until eventually I lost it at him and told him in no uncertain terms what he could do with his low opinion of me.

 

[Mattymatt]

My situation at work is about par for an aspie: Why can't you remember stuff? Why do you talk to yourself when you're concentrating? Why don't you say hi and bye? You don't like sports? You don't wanto play fantasy football with us-- The whole office does it every year! I am talked about behind my back constantly and people are either too nice or outright rude and insulting to me. I am middling at my job, maybe quite strong in some aspects, but my tendency to disorganization and forgetfulness lowers my stock considerably.

There's that One Guy at work. Obnoxious, loud, arrogant, proud. Been with the company a long time, makes decent money and has been doing the same job for decades so hardly ever screws up. He mistakes his second-nature familiarity with a fairly simple position for excellence on his part, and never stops reminding eveyrone of how great he is, and they aren't.

This afternoon, the favored employees were all standing aroud talking, including Mr. Wonderful, instead of finding some work to do (not hard given the many messes strewn about and the constant need for tidying up and cleaning). I was assembling some small, fiddly things nearby. Manchild decided that since he was bored and not working, no one else should be able to, either. He began very loudly rapping a stick on a worktable across the room in time to the music that was playing. This was distracting, but I managed to focus through it and contiue what I was doing. After 5 minutes or so of this loud arrhythmic banging, I had given him no reaction so he decided to push his case. He brought his stick over and continued his performance on the very table where I was working, getting closer and closer to the parts I was working with. His performance was now in my personal space.

He got his reaction: I suddenl;y snatched the stick, and he tried to hang on to it, I just ripped it out of his hand, scratching him in the process. I had basically snapped at this point, and was looking at the place on the side of his head where I was about to plant the end of the stick, after a short arc. The front of his head was displaying a rather dumb and shocked expression. I only just managed to divert my focus and throw the stick into the trash. I didn't even look at him and went back to what I was doing while he bleated some weak threat and then stomped off in a huff.

Of course I immediately was scared because I realized I had been ready to do use some violence to this guy. And like all bullies, he immediately became petulant and whiny, showing me the (insignificant) scratch on his arm. I just barely managed not to justify my behavior, and as his shock and hurt feelings were sincere, I apologized profusely and admitted I had reacted badly.

But, between you and me, I think it might be a good thing that he did not expect what happened, and that he sensed that I was both adrenalized, and in FIGHT, not flight mode. I apologized again later and he said it was behind us, but why couldn't I have just told him to stop? I told him that he was over 50 years old, and if he didn't know right from wrong at this point, I wasn't about to embarass us both by telling him things he should have learned 40 years ago.

Just a reminder for me of how easy it can be for us to get into legal trouble. A warning I will try to take to heart.

Can anyone relate?

I can definitely relate because I hate bullies. He got what was coming to him and it was big of you to apologize.