Negative "Symptoms" of Asperger's

[andrewpd]

In the past people have said I have an unusual personality and that I am a negative person. Some people treated have me like a normal person. I got confusing input overall. I didn't know what was part of me what was other people. I got bullied at school and felt alienated and grew up in a religious cult. So I put my adult feelings down to past experiences.

But now I am being tested for aspergers and score highly on the official questionnaires. I saw a talk by Tony Attwood that reflected a lot of my experiences for instance it said that 90%of people with Aspergers reported being bullied at school and often continually. Now That makes some sense of my treatment school and feeling of alienation. Other experiences seem to be related to aspergers such as I worry constantly and I can't stop thinking and relax. I feel overstimulated and hate certain noises (human noises mainly). I don't like socialising much and don't desire to socialise unless the company is really stimulating. I don't do small talk and so on. I also have an overwhelming concern for justice which makes me upset and dissatisfied.

I feel trapped in this mindset. But I don't know how much might be Aspergers and how much is my own personality and or past experiences.

 

[Suzanne]

Hi there Andrew and it appears I am the first one to answer, so without any halting, welcome to this amazing forum.

My husband said recently to me: which part is aspie and which is you? I answered: Which part is NT and which part is you? He got the point. In other words, we are who we are, just as those who are not, are who they are.

No one would think to ask a classic autisic person, which part is autstic and which part is themselves? Or someone with down syndrome.

I am not official yet, but echo much of what you describe and it also echos what official aspies go through.

Oh yes, the never ending thought process, which can, occasionally feel very sore, with the incessant pattern of thoughts going on there.

I also second you 100% with hating injustice and it is very hard for me to not react.

I am a negative person, who strives to be positive where she can. As an example: my husband might say: it is raining again and I say: well the plants will be happy or you don't have to worry about the hose pipe ban. Or, he might say: it is cold. I return: isn't it supposed to be? Are we not in winter? These wind him up considerably.

I find that when I try to be positive about me, it goes wrong and so, often I remain negative, just so I cannot feel too horribly disappointed.

Anyway, you have come to the right forum.

 

[Mr Allen]

I was diagnosed Aspie in October 1999 at age the age of 23, one of the main negative symptoms is overwhelming pessimism IMO, I always think some aspect of anything I do will go wrong, and a lot of the time I end up being right, which is kind of annoying really.

There is some good in my life though, it's just in my nature to always look at life as being like a particularly bad episode of Eastenders, totally depressing!

 

[Suzanne]

think some aspect of anything I do will go wrong, and a lot of the time I end up being right, which is kind of annoying really.

Oh that is so me too, so I get you!

 

[andrewpd]

Thanks for your responses. I don't think I was a negative child oddly. I agree with what Tony Attwood says about NT's being a big problem for Aspergers people.

I feel I got progressively more negative through bad experiences. Tony also talks about how adulthood can be much harder than childhood for some AP's and I have found that. I was naive as a child and took what people said on face value. Now I feel deceived and held back as a child.

I feel like society is built around ideas and subterfuge and dogmas and so on. But I always expect the truth. I think it is reasonable to want proof, truth and justification but that doesn't seem to be how people interact.
I think being intelligent also makes my worrying and reason seeking worse. I can always come up with counter arguments or skepticism which makes people think you are negative as well.

I find it hard to assert myself because I can't cope with the aggravation you get when you have strong opinions

 

[andrewpd]

The first time someone said I might be Aspergers is when a counsellor mentioned that I didn't make eye contact. (That is another trait people don't like). That happened about 3 years ago. I wish it had happened much sooner. I feel negative about late diagnosis because that makes my bad childhood seem worse because I had cognitive issues along with the bullying and parental/religious troubles. So it's hard to be positive in the face of this.

People don't seem to care or see the importance of all this because mental health issues are like a hidden disability and more open to skepticism then physical illness. Although I have to stress I know people with physical illness who face similar judgemental attitudes or neglect.

I feel as if society doesn't like any weakness in general and needs pushing to change society to be more suitable for diversity.

 

[andrewpd]

I am just venting here to get my thoughts out there.

I think it is important to get a diagnosis so you can get support or be treated how you need to be treated. I think a lack of support can lead to a vicious cycle of negative symptoms. I have faced a lot of little (or big) prejudices where people say hurtful ignorant things and cast aspersions on you.

I have cared for a severely disabled brother and so I have learnt I know how to treat people with problems appropriately. What I found is that I just have to listen to what my brother says and do what he wants. I have found people who try to "empathise" with him are over sensitive based on what they feel it must be like for him. At the same time they are under sensitive (is that a phrase?) to mental health issues because they can't put themselves in the person shoes. Ironically my brother doesn't experience anxiety and depression but is paralysed.

So I use his condition as an analogy. No one reasonably expects him to do things because he can't move and just moving his mouth when he could was exhausting (now he communicates by blinking). Mental conditions can be almost as restrictive and demotivating

 

[Mr Allen]

The first time someone said I might be Aspergers is when a counsellor mentioned that I didn't make eye contact. (That is another trait people don't like). That happened about 3 years ago. I wish it had happened much sooner. I feel negative about late diagnosis because that makes my bad childhood seem worse because I had cognitive issues along with the bullying and parental/religious troubles. So it's hard to be positive in the face of this.

People don't seem to care or see the importance of all this because mental health issues are like a hidden disability and more open to skepticism then physical illness. Although I have to stress I know people with physical illness who face similar judgemental attitudes or neglect.

I feel as if society doesn't like any weakness in general and needs pushing to change society to be more suitable for diversity.

10 years ago I had an interview at Remploy in Town for a job, and the woman interviewing me picked up on the "no eye contact" thing, I wasn't aware of it.

But there was a LOT wrong with that particular interview, such as the woman accusing me to my face of LYING about every word of my CV because I had no references to back it up, seriously?!

 

[ezcare]

People don't seem to care or see the importance of all this because mental health issues are like a hidden disability and more open to skepticism then physical illness.

Often times Aspies will not disclose their "hidden illness" in the workplace for fear of being set apart and scrutinized for any mistake that would get them fired.

 

[SusanLR]

Not looking people in the eyes when I was growing up was a sign, according to my mother, of lying.

I feel like society is built around ideas and subterfuge and dogmas and so on. But I always expect the truth. I think it is reasonable to want proof, truth and justification but that doesn't seem to be how people interact.

Now, just last weekend, the only person that I considered a friend, made the remark about someone where she works that never looks anyone in the eye when he speaks. She said common sense tells you anyone who doesn't look you in the eye is up to no good.
Then we went to lunch and got into an argument over her complaining about how she is a hard worker and didn't like her tax dollars being spent to help those with disabilities and low income with anything except the bare essentials to survive. I found out what she was complaining about was not a government funded issue anyway. But, it certainly made me feel bad. Don't think we'll be friends after this.
And it does show how many people feel about those who are disabled.

 

[andrewpd]

I think getting an official diagnosis might make me more assertive.

I had social anxiety for a long time and I didn't know what it was until I saw a random notice advertising a social anxiety support group. So you can spend years with problems but no names for them and not being able to pinpoint what is happening to you.

If people don't know that you have a syndrome or mental health condition then they can just treat you based on various stereotypes like "negative" "rude" "odd" "antisocial" and so on. That increases your own negativity.

 

[clg114]

For me, the biggest negative about being on the spectrum is my social inabilities. Years ago people mistook my social inabilities for lack of intelligence. They thought that I was stupid and would not take me seriously. Now some of these same people seek me out because I can do things that they can not do.