New here - is it possible i have autism/aspergers

[-Reece]

As an adult I would have prefaced telling much of anyone with the following: "Need-to-know" only.

As much as many of us want to tell the world what we already know, most of that world simply doesn't want to know. So you must be aware of this dynamic as well. In essence, most people you tell will not understand and only relate to it from their Neurotypical point of view.

That's exactly what I'm afraid of with my parents. I agree it should be need to know but don't you think they would need to know

 

[Judge]

That's exactly what I'm afraid of with my parents. I agree it should be need to know but don't you think they would need to know

At this point IMO they are the only people you should be conveying this to. Don't complicate your life any more than is necessary right now. As to whether your parents share this with others...sadly that's not within your control.

From my own perspective there are three potential outcomes in sharing such information:

1) Those who want to understand and succeed in doing so.
2) Those who want to understand but fail.
3) Those who don't want to understand and default to a mentality that you must adapt to the Neurotypical ways of thinking and doing as a social majority.

With consideration to #3 happening far more often.

 

[-Reece]

At this point IMO they are the only people you should be conveying this to. Don't complicate your life any more than is necessary right now. As to whether your parents share this with others...sadly that's not within your control.

From my own perspective there are three potential outcomes in sharing such information:

1) Those who want to understand and succeed in doing so.
2) Those who want to understand but fail.
3) Those who don't want to understand and default to a mentality that you must adapt to the Neurotypical ways of thinking and doing.

I think they would maybe at first want to understand but fail and then get frustrated decided I need to be neurotypical

 

[Judge]

I think they would maybe at first want to understand but fail and then get frustrated decided I need to be neurotypical

Sadly quite possible. As if you could be "fixed" as a matter of mere "social mechanics".

Of course our reality usually carries the possibility of being able only to alter a few autistic traits and behaviors to varying degrees. And that just because you might be able to mitigate one trait doesn't imply you can do so with many or even all of them. That we can have traits and behaviors that are neurologically "hard-wired". Those that we simply cannot change no matter how much we want or try. A dynamic many NTs don't seem to understand or even believe, making it that much more difficult to let them into our "world".

We are neurologically different, but not necessarily deficient. It isn't about "attitude".

 

[-Reece]

Sadly quite possible. As if you could be "fixed" as a matter of mere "social mechanics".

Of course our reality usually carries the possibility of being able only to alter a few autistic traits and behaviors to varying degrees. And that just because you might be able to mitigate one trait doesn't imply you can do so with many or even all of them. That we can have traits and behaviors that are neurologically "hard-wired". Those that we simply cannot change no matter how much we want or try. A dynamic many NTs don't seem to understand or even believe, making it that much more difficult to let them into our "world".

We are neurologically different, but not necessarily deficient. It isn't about "attitude".

Exactly, I wish more people understood that.

 

[Judge]

Exactly, I wish more people understood that.

That sad reality is perhaps best reflected in how the organization "Autism Speaks" relates to us as a puzzle piece rather than human beings who are simply different from the social majority. What a terrible metaphor that spreads the wrong message.

Of course such organizations primarily reflect the interests of parents of autistic children. Not autistic children who inevitably grow up to be autistic adults.

So yes, educating the public on autism is frankly an "uphill battle". Not to mention the CDC statistics which reflect a presumption that every 1 in 68 people is on the spectrum. Which means there is a vast majority of the public who will likely remain indifferent to autism because it doesn't impact them or anyone in their social orbit.

IMO ignorance can be overcome with much greater success than can indifference.

 

[Nitro]

 

[xudo]

I would like to be more firm in my position before speaking to a professional because I don't know how my parents will respond to this. If I do decide I want to find a professional, how would you go about finding the right person?

It would depend very much on where in the world you live. How you go about getting diagnosed varies wildly from place to place. I would do a search for autism charities and specialists in your area.

 

[LogicalMind]

I am definitely Aspergers...and I have a huge amount of anxiety lol xD . If you feel like maybe you are nerdy, or just have bad social skills in conjunction with what you told us, and that you struggle to socially/emotional read people...then it is probably Aspergers indeed... Doesnt mean you need medication, doesnt mean you need treatment... just means you are nerdy and socially inept, but also means you have strong points.

 

[Katleya]

Welcome, Reece!

I think you will find a lot of the answers that you need here (I see that you're off to a good start already with the test links that Judge has provided).
Regarding diagnosis, it doesn't all need to happen at once. You only really need a formal diagnosis for accommodations in school and at work, and possibly a pension depending on where you live. But it's a double-edged sword, as disclosing it at work to be granted the accommodations you might need could bring its own set of problems. That being said, given your age, I shouldn't be worrying you with that so soon.
Completing your self-diagnosis is already a major step you can take. From there on, you will be able to figure out a lot about you, and it should help you even with the anxiety (it's not going to solve it, but sometimes knowing of some of the causes helps decrease it). It will explain things in your past, alert you to possible obstacles to overcome, and, above all, it will help you find other people with similar characteristics and challenges. That's a lot to digest.

Here you will also find a lot of female Aspies, some quite young, others more mature, so you can have insight in our paths to diagnosis and the specifics of Asperger's in women. I'm sure you'll like it, here

 

[spaceman]

Hi, my name is Reece and I'm 16 years old. I have always kind of thought I was "different" but who doesn't? From a young age, I have struggled with depression and anxiety but I just recently found the courage to find help so I was only diagnosed a few months ago. I just couldn't shake the feeling that that was all that was causing my problems. I have been doing some research which lead me to sites about autism and Aspergers. From what I have read a lot of my symptoms match but I don't know how to tell for sure. I read that it is only fairly recently that there have been more studies about autism in girls so many of them are misdiagnosed or missed completely. Does anyone have thoughts on what I should do next, more research or something? I'm just not really sure what to do at this point.

I was researching a lot. What helped me understand and fit in with the most is this site. Straight up.

YouTube Vids are OK I guess. But here the jewels that nailed it for me were found. Also if you haven't tried yet an AQ for autism in adults. Give it a whirl

 

[Lady Penelope]

All the suggestions here sound great. I felt a bit "off" all my life and at 35 did a bit of research when I found out that it presented differently in females. I hit the motherload and self-diagnosed myself then and there. It all made sense.
I then spend a few months doing more research and reading everything I could find on the subject of aspie girls and to be frank, this site helped tremendously.

I then located a psychologist in my local area specialising in autism and booked a session. Really hard to do. Felt very vulnerable. She was lovely and usually dealt with kids but was willing to talk with me about it. In order to diagnose me, she went through each criteria and we discussed how and why and what I thought belonged in that category and why I felt that it applied to me - or not. In some areas I did not fit at all, but others were overwhelming. It's all about that sliding spectrum.

She explained that ultimately if you are experiencing anxiety and struggle on a daily basis to fit into society and feel misunderstood most of the time and confused about who you are and why you feel different to the point it is impacting your life, then you pass. It's all about whether it negatively impacts your daily functioning.

Being high functioning / aspergers and a female, it is doubly hard, as we are great mimics and sail under the radar not showing any outward signs of struggle - but on the inside we are trembling and confused. We are adept at fitting in just enough, but not enough to feel included and confident.
We are always on the outside.

I am yet to tell my parents, so I know exactly how you feel.

Think of this; do you want additional support during school hours? If you just want information and tips and trick on how to 'survive' and get to know yourself better, perhaps do a little research on your own. Having a formal diagnosis might be beneficial if you are seeking government / educational support.
If I was formally diagnosed as a kid I feel like I would have been ostracised further... but if i had known myself, I might have be able to adjust and make allowances and be more confident in myself.

Look at books:
Sisterhood of the Spectrum: Jennifer Cook O'Toole
<I just finished this and it is utterly brilliant. Wish I had read it at your age. Could have saved me a lot of headaches and heartaches and sexual assaults>

The Asperkid's Secret book of social rules : Jennifer Cook O'Toole
<Jennifer has aspergers. She was diagnosed late in life and started making little notes to herself about things she learned ... these books are based on her notes. They really ring true to me and are a great place to start>

Safety Skills for Asperger Women: Liane Holliday Willey

And talk to us here! There are lots of girls and women with aspergers who can offer you their experiences, guidance and support. PM me if you have personal questions. I'd be so happy to help. It would be like saving the 16 year old me.