New Member

[Luca]

Wow, thanks so much! Yes, I do remember what your previous post said, and am now connecting the dots between your two posts. This is a huge relief for me to read because all through school, I was able to grasp only math, music, and French. After high school I got some help with reading, and am now an avid reader. But I've always wondered why I couldn't get through a book, or even a paragraph, all those years. I'd think I was reading, then realize I had no idea what I'd just supposedly read. Neither could I follow what teachers were saying. Autism traits seem to fit - I'm obsessive with certain interests, and prefer to be by myself. My husband rings a small, quiet bell before entering the house so that I don't spring up to the ceiling from the sudden noise of the door. The bell is a great remedy, by the way, for anyone with an extreme startle response. I follow elaborate schedules that take me forever to create, and would say I have OCD, but that never quite fits because I have no anxiety over having to keep things a certain way; so long as no one moves anything from its usual place, especially if it belongs to just me. So I believe I have quite a few behaviors that seem to indicate I'm on an autism spectrum. Incidentally, I'm happily married, with kids and grandkids that are the love of my life. I am so grateful for your insight, and feel much better. Having an answer to why you were a weird kid is life-changing (for the better, of course). Thanks again, and have a blast at your next party, nightclub, concert, or whatever other gathering! I think you said in your first post that you are also new here? Welcome - enjoy.

I’m glad I was able to help
And nope, I’m not new here… it’s been almost a year now lol.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being self-diagnosed! But if you want a second opinion you can always talk to a specialist.

I’m here to answer any questions that I can be of assistance with!

 

[Franish]

I’m glad I was able to help
And nope, I’m not new here… it’s been almost a year now lol.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being self-diagnosed! But if you want a second opinion you can always talk to a specialist.

I’m here to answer any questions that I can be of assistance with!

Good advice, and I'm glad to know you're willing to answer questions. I'll keep that in mind!

 

[Richelle-H]

Hello again. I was reading through your thread here and was struck by a few things. What follows may be of absolutely no use and might just be something I needed to get out of my brain lest I wind up in a morass of circular thinking. You have been warned.

My first comment is about OCD. It is a common co-morbid. My experience of that is only now manifesting. Also, it can have a very narrow focus. Mine focuses on a single repetitive action that does not need to be done in a certain way or at specific times. It comes on me in those idle moments when I am not specifically involved in something that is actually required. I don't need to do it, but I find myself locked into some needless activity for long periods of time.

I never experienced anything like this from birth until now. It is clearly obsessive and compulsive. I can read it and break out of it, the thing is that the same actions recur again and again with no rhyme or reason. It is just something I lock into from time to time until I remind myself that I am being obsessive. The compulsion comes out of nowhere at odd times of the day and night, quickly becoming obsessive.

OCD does not require any more than a single thing to kick in and without my long history on the spectrum, I may not have been able to realize that what I was doing was and obsession and was compelled by idle observation that motivated the repetitive act for long periods of time to absolutely no real beneficial effect.

As counterpoint, in my youth I had a very difficult time meeting the gaze of someone or something. The something was specifically cameras. All photos of me up and into my young adult years have me looking down or away or giving the camera a death stare. The latter occurred in any photo where I was trying to fog the film (this was pre-digital of course). I remember an actual successful attempt on one occasion, but in general there are many more of me looking everywhere but at the camera.

Now, I have little trouble with eye contact be it someone else or someone's cell phone or camera. Life changes and those of us on the spectrum can learn and/or adapt through experience and life interactions.

Another thing that has become more of a problem in my advancing years is verbal perseveration: talking about the same thing repetitively, using slightly different words but with no variation in the information I am imparting. Once would be enough, but I keep going on and on beyond the limits of most peoples ability to tolerate. I recognize I am doing it and yet sometimes cannot stop myself. I can usually guard against this when I write, because I can edit my words. Would that I could do that when I speak!

There is also a bit of echolalia that has come out of nowhere in my advancing years but I will say no more on that subject other than to not that it can really annoy those you have repetitive contact with.

We do not all travel the same highway as there are many different roadways off it that can attract and pull us in different directions. What it is about for me is finding what makes you comfortable and pursuing it, and others can just mind there own business if it bothers them. Trust in yourself and your own perceptions of who that is. I don't think you can go too wrong if you follow your own feelings.

That is all I have to add and kudos to anyone that has read this far. It means that what I wrote was compelling or interesting enough to keep you engaged and I appreciate the non-verbal approval.

 

[Mori]

Hello Franish!

I really relate to what you're saying about a lot of online quizzes. I usually score on the borderline and it makes things a bit more confusing. But I'm glad you joined, I hope it brings some clarity and comfort getting to talk to others!

 

[Franish]

Hello again. I was reading through your thread here and was struck by a few things. What follows may be of absolutely no use and might just be something I needed to get out of my brain lest I wind up in a morass of circular thinking. You have been warned.

My first comment is about OCD. It is a common co-morbid. My experience of that is only now manifesting. Also, it can have a very narrow focus. Mine focuses on a single repetitive action that does not need to be done in a certain way or at specific times. It comes on me in those idle moments when I am not specifically involved in something that is actually required. I don't need to do it, but I find myself locked into some needless activity for long periods of time.

I never experienced anything like this from birth until now. It is clearly obsessive and compulsive. I can read it and break out of it, the thing is that the same actions recur again and again with no rhyme or reason. It is just something I lock into from time to time until I remind myself that I am being obsessive. The compulsion comes out of nowhere at odd times of the day and night, quickly becoming obsessive.

OCD does not require any more than a single thing to kick in and without my long history on the spectrum, I may not have been able to realize that what I was doing was and obsession and was compelled by idle observation that motivated the repetitive act for long periods of time to absolutely no real beneficial effect.

As counterpoint, in my youth I had a very difficult time meeting the gaze of someone or something. The something was specifically cameras. All photos of me up and into my young adult years have me looking down or away or giving the camera a death stare. The latter occurred in any photo where I was trying to fog the film (this was pre-digital of course). I remember an actual successful attempt on one occasion, but in general there are many more of me looking everywhere but at the camera.

Now, I have little trouble with eye contact be it someone else or someone's cell phone or camera. Life changes and those of us on the spectrum can learn and/or adapt through experience and life interactions.

Another thing that has become more of a problem in my advancing years is verbal perseveration: talking about the same thing repetitively, using slightly different words but with no variation in the information I am imparting. Once would be enough, but I keep going on and on beyond the limits of most peoples ability to tolerate. I recognize I am doing it and yet sometimes cannot stop myself. I can usually guard against this when I write, because I can edit my words. Would that I could do that when I speak!

There is also a bit of echolalia that has come out of nowhere in my advancing years but I will say no more on that subject other than to not that it can really annoy those you have repetitive contact with.

We do not all travel the same highway as there are many different roadways off it that can attract and pull us in different directions. What it is about for me is finding what makes you comfortable and pursuing it, and others can just mind there own business if it bothers them. Trust in yourself and your own perceptions of who that is. I don't think you can go too wrong if you follow your own feelings.

That is all I have to add and kudos to anyone that has read this far. It means that what I wrote was compelling or interesting enough to keep you engaged and I appreciate the non-verbal approval.

Hi Richelle,

First I want to say I love your sense of humor! I hope the people in your life appreciate that about you.

The OCD you describe sounds more like the clinical description of it than the quirky sort of things I do. I read a few books about OCD when I thought maybe I had it, but realized I don't because basically I just like to have everything a certain way. I guess that's not really OCD. As for getting stuck on a mental merry-go-round, the closest I would come to that is obsessing about things in my life that I wish I'd done differently - especially if I was rude or hurt someone's feelings. I tend to relive memories starting from a very young age, and then beat myself up about my dumb mistakes. It's funny, a few days ago someone wrote in to some online type of counseling, complaining about the very same behavior. They were wondering whether anyone else was like that. I don't remember what the advice for them was; maybe I forgot it because I didn't think it was very helpful. So that describes how I get mentally stuck, but I think your situation sounds really difficult and frustrating for you.

Echolalia is something I've never experienced, but it's interesting to me. You might know that Einstein did that while learning to speak - he'd whisper something to himself before saying it out loud. The biography about him called it echolalia, and I'm sure they know what they're talking about, but the first thing that came to my mind was that he was practicing first so he'd get it right. But what do I know.

You've had many challenges (trying to make eye contact, among so many other things), but have a great philosophy for living happily. I love hearing about all these amazing things, and really enjoyed your post.

 

[Franish]

Hello Franish!

I really relate to what you're saying about a lot of online quizzes. I usually score on the borderline and it makes things a bit more confusing. But I'm glad you joined, I hope it brings some clarity and comfort getting to talk to others!

Hello Franish!

I really relate to what you're saying about a lot of online quizzes. I usually score on the borderline and it makes things a bit more confusing. But I'm glad you joined, I hope it brings some clarity and comfort getting to talk to others!

Thanks, Mori! I'm inferring from your post that you weren't formally diagnosed either. I also hope being here brings me clarity - so far, all of the posts have definitely brought comfort. I can't believe how nice everyone here is!

So now that you said that, I'm wondering whether it has brought you clarity and comfort as well? When you joined, did you still have doubts about your (self) diagnosis? I'm curious about how that change might have been brought about from the information you gathered here, if you feel like sharing. Or maybe it was a long process that can't be summed up in one blog. In that case, I'll need to do what you did, and keep searching, with patience.

It's really nice to hear that you relate about the quizzes (yay!).

 

[Franish]

Hello Franish!

I really relate to what you're saying about a lot of online quizzes. I usually score on the borderline and it makes things a bit more confusing. But I'm glad you joined, I hope it brings some clarity and comfort getting to talk to others!

Oh, woops! I looked at your info up there, and it says you joined yesterday. So you can disregard the second paragraph I typed. Welcome to the site!

 

[Nick12]

WELCOME AND HI

 

[Franish]

Thank you, Nick - hi back!