Newbie who has lost his way..

[kay]

Thank you ^_^, I think you'll get there someday, it just takes a few trials and tribulations to realize how much of your time and energy you waste trying to be 'normal' and how little you get for doing it. Ive began to see that within the past year more especially.

I've kinda noticed that what I get for being "normal" is being surrounded by mean people I wish I'd never met.

 

[Streetwise]

I'm new on this site, as a matter of fact Im kinda new to forums in general, yes I'm a very out of touch millennial. Ive always been kind of skeptical of online communities for a variety of reasons, although Im more or less a social phobic in general. Ive come here because I lack a sufficient amount of quality interaction in my life, especially for the last year since my mom became unwell, she has depression or something.. Ive never really had friends since my teens, and every attempt to integrate with people ends in disappointment. I always thought that my family would be there at the very least but even that is being questioned now.. Lately the isolation has gotten so bad that I have began to create imaginary characters in my mind to interact with, including an entirely new family and a husband and children (Im gay), does anyone else here feel like they are unloved or invisible? Or hated even?

Welcome sorry too unwell too type anymore

 

[SusanLR]

Welcome!
This is a good place and it is my refuge at times.

Just as you, I've never had real friends and I have felt that "lost" sensation to the point of overwhelming since my Mom died 4 years ago.
I had no where to go, no family, no friends, no money.
An elderly man I knew from where I played tennis knew about my predicament and said he would like someone to help him as he was alone and having health issues. And to also have someone to be around.
He offered me two rooms, amd bath, use of the kitchen and pool in his large house for $500 a month to help with expenses.
I took him up on his offer.
Only problem he turned out to be one mean and controlling person when I needed support, not scoldings.

I was talking with my Chiropractor today who is Aspie and lost his last parent this year. He has also been suffering depression over this.
He at least has a sister and nephew for support and has been on his own more than I have.
Still he said his dreams haunt him of still having his Dad, just as mine do of my parents.
He said "It will never be the same, will it?"
I don't think so either.
How you can feel totally alone in a world of people is a terrible feeling.

I dont think I'll ever reach a point where I will be happy being by myself... :/

And I feel the same way.
But, who knows?
Maybe something better will happen for all of us.

 

[Flammie91]

That must have been extremely difficult, more especially the situation with that old man, perhaps thats why he never had anyone in his life in the first place. Ive been in a few bad living situations the past year myself, after my mom started acting bizarre I had to get out, I ended up renting a bedroom but my two roommates began to nitpick and make up stories about me making noise there, even though they certainly weren't church mice themselves. Making fun of me, then they began to threaten me, I had to leave, then I moved into an apartment, the neighbours upstairs were extremely noisy, they had dogs even though the owner said none allowed, the house was put up for sale a week later, the people upstairs then moved out and left my garbage overflowing with bags, left garbage outdoors, the landlord took forever to get rid of it, there were people coming in and out of my apartment all the time without my knowledge or consent, never knocked while I was there, at one point my door was left wide open, anyone in the neighbourhood could have looted the little bit I have in this world, landlord and his son (property management guy) were extremely rude and incompetent, never kept appointments, just done what they wanted. I dont mean to minimize what you've gone through, Im sure it must have been much worse, I know how it feels to meet people who you think are exceptionally kind when you are isolated and then when you grow attached to them they stick their talons in, it happens to all of us I'm sure.

 

[Myway]

Hello and Welcome. I hope you enjoy it here.

 

[Shonda]

I'm new on this site, as a matter of fact Im kinda new to forums in general, yes I'm a very out of touch millennial. Ive always been kind of skeptical of online communities for a variety of reasons, although Im more or less a social phobic in general. Ive come here because I lack a sufficient amount of quality interaction in my life, especially for the last year since my mom became unwell, she has depression or something.. Ive never really had friends since my teens, and every attempt to integrate with people ends in disappointment. I always thought that my family would be there at the very least but even that is being questioned now.. Lately the isolation has gotten so bad that I have began to create imaginary characters in my mind to interact with, including an entirely new family and a husband and children (Im gay), does anyone else here feel like they are unloved or invisible? Or hated even?

Hey. I do understand where you're coming from. Though in recent years, I have made more of an effort to interact with people, I still am not where I thought I would be in life by this point. (I'm NT by the way). I had a hard childhood that contained no emotional support so today it is hard for me to deal with my feelings. I am unable to open up to people. I have a strained relationship with my family, especially my mothers. I do not have many friends and the ones I have aren't so kind. I became a nurse to have more interactions with people day to day, but mostly I just find the job emotionally draining. I haven't made up imaginary characters, but I do make up elaborate situations in my head where I have a more social life with lots of friends, and a happy relationship... All I can say is keep on keeping on. You're not alone.

 

[Flammie91]

Hey. I do understand where you're coming from. Though in recent years, I have made more of an effort to interact with people, I still am not where I thought I would be in life by this point. (I'm NT by the way). I had a hard childhood that contained no emotional support so today it is hard for me to deal with my feelings. I am unable to open up to people. I have a strained relationship with my family, especially my mothers. I do not have many friends and the ones I have aren't so kind. I became a nurse to have more interactions with people day to day, but mostly I just find the job emotionally draining. I haven't made up imaginary characters, but I do make up elaborate situations in my head where I have a more social life with lots of friends, and a happy relationship... All I can say is keep on keeping on. You're not alone.

My family can be very unsupportive at times, a great family is the greatest blessing you can have, it can have a big effect on the rest of your life.

 

[Shonda]

My family can be very unsupportive at times, a great family is the greatest blessing you can have, it can have a big effect on the rest of your life.

I agree. Sometimes I feel like it's too late for me, because I'm inclined on not having children (I probably wouldn't make a good mom). But I still imagine what it would be like in my head. It's sad, but oddly therapeutic in a way.

 

[Flammie91]

I agree. Sometimes I feel like it's too late for me, because I'm inclined on not having children (I probably wouldn't make a good mom). But I still imagine what it would be like in my head. It's sad, but oddly therapeutic in a way.

I do the same thing, I imagine having a different set of parents and siblings (Im an only child), and a spouse and children of my own, theyre well behaved though, lol.

 

[Shonda]

I do the same thing, I imagine having a different set of parents and siblings (Im an only child), and a spouse and children of my own, theyre well behaved though, lol.

I always picture what a relationship with my ex (an aspie) could have been and I imagine a better future for us. I even imagine we have a child. I don't ever imagine new parents or siblings though... that ship has sailed.

 

[Tom]

Hi & Welcome

 

[Flammie91]

I always picture what a relationship with my ex (an aspie) could have been and I imagine a better future for us. I even imagine we have a child. I don't ever imagine new parents or siblings though... that ship has sailed.

The way I see it Im about as likely to get one as I am the other, lol. Actually adult adoption is a thing now, that is the adoption of a person over the age of majority, as a matter of fact Ive read that its legal in my juristiction, but thats very rare.