No faith in mankind, no faith in myself.

[Metalhead]

 

[Metalhead]

I want to escape myself and my legacy of failure. I want to leave my current life in the past. I want to live, not merely exist.

 

[Aspychata]

My thinking mirrors that. If we could just rewrite our past. My whole childhood feels like a lie. It seems to me, you spent your whole life in battle too.You never experienced normal in the sense that you were in a bad play with a very unkind mother.

You must still feel betrayed by her. Do you want to post how you feel? Have you been able to discuss more with any family members the way you feel? Will there ever be any closure for you?

 

[Metalhead]

My thinking mirrors that. If we could just rewrite our past. My whole childhood feels like a lie. It seems to me, you spent your whole life in battle too.You never experienced normal in the sense that you were in a bad play with a very unkind mother.

You must still feel betrayed by her. Do you want to post how you feel? Have you been able to discuss more with any family members the way you feel? Will there ever be any closure for you?

Closure on this will not be found within my blood family, my mother has them all convinced that I am lovably cognitively impaired as that narrative works for her. I have been betrayed by my entire family. Time for me to move on and away from them.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

I want to escape myself and my legacy of failure. I want to leave my current life in the past. I want to live, not merely exist.

Hello,
Nowadays there are options to work remotely, I have no idea of what your skills or passions are, but starting from personal assistants to personal teachers there are many ways of working from home.

I like games like you, and If I had more money I would pay for a Wild Rift personal trainer.

Maybe your skills and passions are more in the line of manual work and you can sell your work in an online shop like etsy.com

Locally some people walk dogs, spend time with the elderly, clean cars or houses... As I said I have no idea of your skills and your handicaps, so maybe none of my suggestions do make sense for your current situation.

I hope you can find a way to scape from your current situation into a better one.

 

[Callistemon]

I want to escape myself and my legacy of failure. I want to leave my current life in the past. I want to live, not merely exist.

It is such a wonderful thing that change is possible. Imagine if we were all doomed to be stuck in our darkest days and could never evolve.

One of my favourite authors, Jeanette Winterson, had a really terrible home background. She grew up with a total religious nutter who was also violent and dealt out horrific abuse, and she was LGBTIQ, which got her rejected all over again when that became obvious to her family. She wrote the most wonderful books, coming out of this, and still does. From early on, she saw her own life, and even her own person, as something you could write like a book - not something static and predetermined. Writing books or your own life and person isn't necessarily easy, but you can do sketches and drafts and keep improving it, through good days and bad, and times when the words pour out and other times when you can't find them or you write total codswallop - and eventually it gets easier!

 

[Fino]

This is my first time attaching a file so I'm not sure if it's working, but if it is, this is a list of suggestions I often give to people when they're having feelings of numbness, apathy, meaninglessness, etc. It won't let me copy/paste the information.

 

[Aspychata]

Not a lot of nature near where public transportation goes here. I have heard of Apocalyptica and I love them.

But frankly nothing is bringing me pleasure today. Perhaps I should sleep off the cravings for alcohol.

I wonder if it would help to tell you to focus on being a survivor.

I use this to currently help me. I have pulled back, l don't seek out much social life and l have decided to tell those close to me, my effort is just surviving and everything else is now secondary.

 

[Callistemon]

Sending good thoughts to you too, @Aspychata. It sounds like you could use them. Feel better soon.

 

[watersprite]