No Thank you

[Aspychata]

I dealt with a obessive female in one state. I also dealt with a obessive female in a exercise class in another state. That suggestion of l am a lesbian isn't good for me.

 

[Judge]

I dealt with a obessive female in one state. I also dealt with a obessive female in a exercise class in another state. That suggestion of l am a lesbian isn't good for me.

Understandable, however I suppose that might be relative to how many unwanted men approach you socially as opposed to unwanted women. Is there a ratio you could estimate, or are you merely being hypothetical in wanting to discourage men from approaching you?

Of course if you're surrounded by known GLBTQ people socially speaking, it wouldn't be the best response. That's a given. DUH....

Well, there's always that ugly facial expression. A low cost method that may work more often than not.

But remaining charming and witty even while being mildly negative can still backfire. In essence there's really no absolute "magic bullet" in such circumstances where you are really having to rely on one's individual civility to leave you alone.

I just know that as a heterosexual male it would mortify me to approach any woman only to hear her simply point out that she is not heterosexual. Where all the air leaves the room and most decent guys would be prone to just slink away. Where you retain control and they have none.

 

[Aspychata]

Think men should realize woman date less , because we are busy with other things, like me writing this very important response at this website right this min. Plus there are thousands of porn sites, which means l am devalued as a female so l no longer wish to compete with candy cum at dialmelickme.com. (lol)

 

[Judge]

Think men should realize woman date less , because we are busy with other things, like me writing this very important response at this website right this min. Plus there are thousands of porn sites, which means l am devalued as a female so l no longer wish to compete with candy cum at dialmelickme.com. (lol)

Good point. But then that's part of why I detest the institution of dating. Which involves an emphasis of persistence and subterfuge. And a twisted sense that the more you resist, the more you want them.

I still recall as a kid how a family friend's daughter would hear the phone ring, and then race down the stairs only to listen to the phone ring, and ring, and ring before she would calmly answer. <FACEPALM>

Too many games and worthless rituals associated with dating altogether for both sexes. Why can't people just have friends? So much easier and honest, IMO. Though one can't have a preconceived notion that every friend can be your lover. Social interactions and relationships. I have a headache just thinking about it all. Oh well, for me that's all behind this old man. I seldom even go much of anywhere that involves lots of people in a confined space to mingle anyways. Works for me.

I just wish I could get rid of all the criminal scammers who endlessly attempt to contact me by phone. Talk about unwanted attention! Though we have another thread for that subject...LOL.

 

[Ken S.]

@Rectify I meant feelings of the "women" who came on to me. Call me old fashioned, I have always been under the impression that when you make vows you are making unbreakable promises. Yes temptation will present itself but there is never reason to act upon it and if you lose what you had due to weakness, You never deserved it in the first place.

 

[Rectify]

@Rectify I meant feelings of the "women" who came on to me. Call me old fashioned, I have always been under the impression that when you make vows you are making unbreakable promises. Yes temptation will present itself but there is never reason to act upon it and if you lose what you had due to weakness, You never deserved it in the first place.

Thanks for clarifying KenS. I totally agree with you regarding marriage and the vows. I have been married and that is how I meant it and that is how I continued throughout the marriage.

I wouldn't feel that sorry for a man who tried to come on to me, knowing that I was married, and got knocked back. What did he think was going to happen? I would be concerned for my husband though - to have been disrespected by the other man.

I'm aware that way because of a relationship I had where it happened to me so often (women coming on to my partner) and in the end I felt like I must be seen as a bit of a nothing. Like I am so unimportant to other people that it's like I'm not there, I don't exist. Tbc - that's how I felt, not what I really believed I was.

 

[Aspychata]

Think l need to say that older woman usually are pretty happy tooling along with jobs, good female friends, simple pleasures of life. We don't need much at this age. That's why l embrace my age, l don't need to impress anyone, l get to put my feet up, smell the fresh air and like l orginally stated, l just don't date, it could be that l am on the spectrum and l am content.

 

[Ken S.]

I would be concerned for my husband though - to have been disrespected by the other man.

I have had men approach my wife in front of me. She is more worried what I might do to the man disrespecting me.

Think l need to say that older woman usually are pretty happy tooling along with jobs, good female friends, simple pleasures of life. We don't need much at this age. That's why l embrace my age, l don't need to impress anyone, l get to put my feet up, smell the fresh air and like l orginally stated, l just don't date, it could be that l am on the spectrum and l am content.

I know a few older women like this but never knew it was an issue to some people. Maybe out here where neighbors are more spread out we don't concern ourselves as much with how others are living their lives?

 

[Aspychata]

It's funny, l had a beautiful morning of drinking coffee and enjoying the sun come up and l was so taken with this. So happiness comes so much easier at this age. I lived in LA, where everything took a hour to get to, my new metro has short driving times and parking isn't 15 blocks away.

 

[the_tortoise]

Understandable, however I suppose that might be relative to how many unwanted men approach you socially as opposed to unwanted women. Is there a ratio you could estimate, or are you merely being hypothetical in wanting to discourage men from approaching you?

Of course if you're surrounded by known GLBTQ people socially speaking, it wouldn't be the best response. That's a given. DUH....

Well, there's always that ugly facial expression. A low cost method that may work more often than not.

But remaining charming and witty even while being mildly negative can still backfire. In essence there's really no absolute "magic bullet" in such circumstances where you are really having to rely on one's individual civility to leave you alone.

I just know that as a heterosexual male it would mortify me to approach any woman only to hear her simply point out that she is not heterosexual. Where all the air leaves the room and most decent guys would be prone to just slink away. Where you retain control and they have none.

Why is it embarrassing to get shot down by a woman because she is a lesbian?

Its not like you would know she was a lesbian unltil you ask or she tells you for whatever reason, and its not like sexual orientation actually comes up a lot in social interactions overall.

Im not trying to invalidate your feelings, i just don’t understand them and am genuinely curious.

 

[Judge]

Why is it embarrassing to get shot down by a woman because she is a lesbian?

Its not like you would know she was a lesbian unltil you ask or she tells you for whatever reason, and its not like sexual orientation actually comes up a lot in social interactions overall.

Im not trying to invalidate your feelings, i just don’t understand them and am genuinely curious.

It would just be awkward to me personally. But then for me it's easy to be awkward in a social sense towards just about any stranger to begin with.

I once took beta blockers for years for social anxiety.

 

[the_tortoise]

It would just be awkward to me personally.

Okay.

 

[Wolfnox]

Think l need to say that older woman usually are pretty happy tooling along with jobs, good female friends, simple pleasures of life. We don't need much at this age. That's why l embrace my age, l don't need to impress anyone, l get to put my feet up, smell the fresh air and like l orginally stated, l just don't date, it could be that l am on the spectrum and l am content.

I got one thats a fun keep away. Laugh like this.

 

[Rectify]

Okay.

I think some of us are quite self-conscious. I can relate to @Judge though I don't have many feelings about that specific situation. But if I extrapolate to other situations I would feel awkward, embarrassed. As I do in many situations.

 

[Clueless in Canada]

I have nothing useful to offer, which is why I am putting words here. It has taken 52 years for me to figure out that I am asexual, however I am romantic. That's not a great combination because the chances of finding a relationship that will offer romance (the autistic version) and affection but not much sex is pretty low. However, I did find it. I wasn't looking. I would rather be alone than be in the wrong relationship and I love living alone. People are weird. Most of them can't understand how anyone not like themselves can function. You can lie or you can tell the truth, either way you are just going to have to keep on telling men you are not interested.

 

[Rectify]

...It has taken 52 years for me to figure out that I am asexual, however I am romantic. That's not a great combination because the chances of finding a relationship that will offer romance (the autistic version) and affection but not much sex is pretty low. However, I did find it. I wasn't looking. I would rather be alone than be in the wrong relationship and I love living alone....

The more you know about yourself and your needs the harder it is to find a partner I think. When I think about all the little boxes I would have to tick - and that's even while remaining very open to compromise on others. When I was young I didn't really think in those practical terms. I 'fell' into relationships, which looking back seems ridiculous and it didn't work very well.
But you mentioned you found someone so yay! I don't meet many people but I do keep open the possibility and it makes me happy to know that others are actually managing relationships successfully.

 

[Clueless in Canada]

The more you know about yourself and your needs the harder it is to find a partner I think. When I think about all the little boxes I would have to tick - and that's even while remaining very open to compromise on others. When I was young I didn't really think in those practical terms. I 'fell' into relationships, which looking back seems ridiculous and it didn't work very well.
But you mentioned you found someone so yay! I don't meet many people but I do keep open the possibility and it makes me happy to know that others are actually managing relationships successfully.

Yes, I know just what you mean about falling into relationships. I have a history of just accepting whoever pursues me based on the logic that if they think we might be compatible they must know more about it than I do. I met my current partner online though not a dating site. We were very far apart geographically and thought we would just be friends but after seven years of that decided we wanted to be together. He has an unusual sort of sexuality too so we are both open minded and accepting of each other. Given my habits and lifestyle I would never meet a potential partner in my actual home town. LOL

 

[Bronzelincolns]

better idea..

accept yourself and tell society to kick rocks.

 

[Aidan49]

There was a period in my life when I was interested in dating. Mainly because I wanted to experience the act of dating, plus it does feel nice when a woman is interested in you.

But as time has gone on, and failures have started to mount up, I've come to care less and less about dating. Maybe that interest will return again soon. Who knows?

Though thinking about it now, dating may be fun, but no way am I ever, or would I ever be ready to turn it into a relationship. I'm just far too selfish and single minded for that.

 

[Wolfnox]

Agreed. Dating does sound fun. But im not into drama. And i feel like i would place to much burden on the woman to make it work.
So i choose not to. Even if i could.