Nobody ever wants to listen!

[I am Matt]

One of the very best social situation moving about strategies is to help out. If you are a guy, strangely, that may be even more appreciated by the hosts since it is usually the guys who go off & enjoy the event & a woman friend who helps out. There are always things to help with. Empty chip bowl? Walk right across the room to get it & bring it into the kitchen; then, take your time filling it up & ringing it back. By then, there will always be things to clear up, refill & replace. This way, you can keep moving without looking like a Roomba vacuum robot. If you drive, you can volunteer to run to the store for anything the party has run out of or the hosts forgot. If you can hack it, be that sober guy who drives drunken uncles home.

Yes. I've done this before. I had showed up after the people who lived there were already drunk and since I'm not one to drink til I pass out in someone else's house I knew I was driving myself home. they had 3 beer pong tables but only two balls so I drove one of the owners of the house to the store to buy more drinks and more balls. And then in terms of just socializing, I walked through the PACKED kitchen quite a few times and would always be stopped by someone. "who are you" "Oh I've seen you around before. I'm *insert name*" "Only reason you guys won was because you can actually see straight right now"

 

[The Penguin]

It happens but we have a lot of great people on here to connect to some form of interest. I like the amount of interest people share on this site.

 

[Spidercat]

It happens but we have a lot of great people on here to connect to some form of interest. I like the amount of interest people share on this site.

I do too. It's pleasant. [emoji4]

 

[Licorice]

i think that is a big one of my soicial coping mechenisms/adaptations. Its kind of sad, but I just except the fact that most people only want to hear about themselves. People are super egocentric. It sounds pessemistic, but its very true.

We are all guilty of being innerwardly focused.

I try, TRY and make myself listen more than I talk, even if i dont really care what the other person is saying.

Similar to me.

I find it's best to assume that, unless they're asking about it or sharing their complementary opinions, someone doesn't want to hear about my video games, books, etc, beyond an overview of what I've been up to.

Occasionally I've met people who were... difficult to squirm away from without saying something hurtful to stop them, so I try to be conscious of whether or not someone is giving any signs of being engaged.

 

[umbrellabeach]

I've never been told I'm boring, but I've been asked to stop talking about my special interests.

I wonder about this...I am not sociable enough to chat someone up about my interests to the point when they get bored or rude or whatever. What I wonder, sometimes, is if those same people expect others to listen to them? Do they expect you to listen while they ramble on about something you do not give a crap about? Sometimes, people have an inflated sense of how interesting they truly are & it distorts their ability to be engaged listeners when someone else is talking. Those types typically get all huffy when they think someone is not listening to them with rapt fascination. I would bet that these same people are not just doing this to hapless Aspies, but that they do it to many people: they may have inflated egos, poor listening skills or both.

I can relate to this, except for me it's mostly strangers. If I mention doing something that some relative of theirs has done, they think I'll be interested in hearing the whole story. Some people also tell me about their kid's or grandkid's experience in school, or other stuff like that. In reality I'm barely even interested in explaining my own experience; I'm just mentioning it in passing, often as part of a bigger story. I don't want to talk about school, jobs, medical issues, traveling, etc. but everyone else finds those things completely fascinating. When they start telling me their stories, I try to seem interested so I don't get labeled as rude, but it's hard because I'm just as bored with their favorite topics as they are with mine.

 

[Randomperson]

I had a grandmother who always stressed "if you can not say anything nice, just shut up" and my parents were prone to hitting you hard in the face or head if you opened your mouth at the wrong time so I spent the majority of my first 2 decades of life in silence, talked very little in the third decade, and halfway through the 4th one I still do not say much to strangers. For some reason I am more easily able to write my thoughts out in front of strangers then to speak them.