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Not all nts are the same about us

Suzanne

Suzanne

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I was on zoom with a spiritual sister today and told her that I am on the spectrum and woah, she said: ah, I used to work with children who have aspergers and as she was describing routines that get out of place, I was like nodding my head and told her that just this morning, I realised on coming downstairs that I did not have my sleep apnea mask with me and I always bring it down to clean it, and I can tell you, I felt a surge of panic out annoyance and even though it was easy to just pop upstairs to see if it was on my bedside table, in my head, it felt like it was an awful feat to get there, but I pushed myself and saw, that it had fallen on the floor, so grabbed it and endeavoured to maintain my routine and she laughed and said that is exactly how she remembers the children she used to teach.

Despite being an nt, she was SO EASY TO TALK TO and me being me, full of excitement to be understood said how much I like her and she said: well, Suzanne, I like you too and the more I am getting to know you, the more I can see the traits coming from you, but find it lovely.
 
That's a great story, Suzanne. No question there are some NTs that are accepting of autistic people. I happen to be married to one of them!
 
Given that my a.s.d. revelation is very new I don't expect anyone to have any understanding about my behavior at all.
When I told my husband that I might be autistic he just accepted the idea. He neither agrued against it nor offered any thoughts at all except to say "I know a little about it because my son was diagnosed too".

Last week though something came up (I don't recall what) and I said "sorry, I can get a little ridgid in my thinking". To which my husband replied "That, and other things, are why I don't doubt that you are autistic". My first husband would argue with me if I said the sky was blue, so it was a weirdly sweet moment to be so throughly accepted.

Obviously we can't expect most people to know or understand what autisim is but when someone who does know is so throughly accepting it feels very good.
 
The reason I value my friends has been their acceptance of me, despite some meltdowns at times. We all have our quirks and are fine with them.
 
Magna said:
That's a great story, Suzanne. No question there are some NTs that are accepting of autistic people. I happen to be married to one of them!
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Me too, and I have been married to the same wonderful NT lady for over fifty years.
 
Suzanne said:
I was on zoom with a spiritual sister today and told her that I am on the spectrum and woah, she said: ah, I used to work with children who have aspergers and as she was describing routines that get out of place, I was like nodding my head and told her that just this morning, I realised on coming downstairs that I did not have my sleep apnea mask with me and I always bring it down to clean it, and I can tell you, I felt a surge of panic out annoyance and even though it was easy to just pop upstairs to see if it was on my bedside table, in my head, it felt like it was an awful feat to get there, but I pushed myself and saw, that it had fallen on the floor, so grabbed it and endeavoured to maintain my routine and she laughed and said that is exactly how she remembers the children she used to teach.

Despite being an nt, she was SO EASY TO TALK TO and me being me, full of excitement to be understood said how much I like her and she said: well, Suzanne, I like you too and the more I am getting to know you, the more I can see the traits coming from you, but find it lovely.
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I wish I had more people in my life like that. So far I only have a handful of NT friends who know I’m Autistic and all of them are online; there’s always hope for the future though. I’m really hoping that the comic I’m working on sparks some conversations and friendships between Autistic and NT people; if not in my life, than at the very least in the lives of others.

As for me, I’m now thinking of emailing one of my NT friends whom I consider the closest, (she’s the one who made the Claritas logo, I actually once invited her to come on this site but clearly she’s decided not to) and see if we can talk more about Autism and get her to have a better understanding of me as an Autistic person.
 
Suzanne said:
even though it was easy to just pop upstairs to see if it was on my bedside table, in my head, it felt like it was an awful feat to get there
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I know that feeling well. I’ve never had a genuine meltdown before, but I’ve come close in situations like the one you describe. Have you felt or been made to feel that you’re just lazy? That’s how people see it and that’s what I thought, too, before I was diagnosed. That and I assumed I was totally crazy to flip out over small changes in ritual. Executive dysfunction is the strangest thing.
 
Greatshield17 said:
As for me, I’m now thinking of emailing one of my NT friends whom I consider the closest, (she’s the one who made the Claritas logo, I actually once invited her to come on this site but clearly she’s decided not to) and see if we can talk more about Autism and get her to have a better understanding of me as an Autistic person.
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I don’t think I’d do that if I were you. I try to remember that no one cares about autism except people who are autistic or have an autistic child. Siblings, too, although not as much. If you push your friends to be interested in the topic, it’ll probably just bore them. I say things about autism in casual conversation every now and again when the topic is relevant, but other than that, I would only talk to my friends or even family about it if they asked.
 
Kalinychta said:
I don’t think I’d do that if I were you. I try to remember that no one cares about autism except people who are autistic or have an autistic child. Siblings, too, although not as much. If you push your friends to be interested in the topic, it’ll probably just bore them. I say things about autism in casual conversation every now and again when the topic is relevant, but other than that, I would only talk to my friends or even family about it if they asked.
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But that’s precisely the problem, the biggest obstacle to Autism Acceptance is lack of Autism Awareness; lack of Autism Awareness is the biggest reason why we’re struggling in the world. I’m not going to push it in my friend’s face, but she is my friend, and the closest one I have, so it’s worth a try that I let her know more about me and about us, so that’s there’s at least one more soul out there who is aware about this.

We do talk about other things of course.
 
Nitro said:
I lived for nearly 54 years without knowing I was on the autism spectrum.
I have always based the people I keep in my circle on their merit, not how their brain was wired.
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I tried living for four years as though I was not Autistic or that being Autistic was no big deal.

I want my future children to grow up in a world where everyone is treated as a human being with God-given dignity first and foremost, but also that the difference between Autistic and Neurotypical people is recognized for the reality that it is, and that that difference is respected and perhaps even in some cases, even admired.
 
Greatshield17 said:
I tried living for four years as though I was not Autistic or that being Autistic was no big deal.

I want my future children to grow up in a world where everyone is treated as a human being with God-given dignity first and foremost, but also that the difference between Autistic and Neurotypical people is recognized for the reality that it is, and that that difference is respected and perhaps even in some cases, even admired.
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I really don't see the difference between what both of us have posted.
I have never sorted my world by neurology.
Unless you are wearing a blue star or some other outward way of signaling that you are in fact autie to what you perceive as NTs, no one would ever know.

But just like me, you are free to think as you wish ;)
 
Greatshield17 said:
But that’s precisely the problem, the biggest obstacle to Autism Acceptance is lack of Autism Awareness; lack of Autism Awareness is the biggest reason why we’re struggling in the world. I’m not going to push it in my friend’s face, but she is my friend, and the closest one I have, so it’s worth a try that I let her know more about me and about us, so that’s there’s at least one more soul out there who is aware about this.

We do talk about other things of course.
Click to expand...

I totally see what you mean, but at the same time, how much do you know about schizophrenia? Multiple sclerosis? Epilepsy? Downs Syndrome? Heartburn? PMS? Etc. People aren’t interested in things that don’t affect them i.e. that aren’t relevant to their lives, so I think the idea of raising awareness is generally a waste of time.
 
I've been guilty of speaking in generalities with regards to autistics and so-called neurotypicals. I know that probably says more about my personal perspective given MY differences and difficulties with interacting and communicating effectively with other people,...but also my observations of the social, religious, political, and tribal way some people interact. I understand that the mainstream and social media love to sensationalize the "lunatic fringe", as well. I have to remind myself that the few may not be an accurate representation of the many.

I tend to be an observer of human behavior,...frankly, my "observing alien" persona is quite apt as often I do feel a bit invisible at times. That's my issue.

Having said that, like @Suzanne , I do know some wonderful human beings that I admire, respect, and enjoy being around.

I just have to refrain from using generalities,...as this tends to show some degree of intellectual laziness on my part.
 
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Greatshield17 said:
I wish I had more people in my life like that. So far I only have a handful of NT friends who know I’m Autistic and all of them are online; there’s always hope for the future though. I’m really hoping that the comic I’m working on sparks some conversations and friendships between Autistic and NT people; if not in my life, than at the very least in the lives of others.

As for me, I’m now thinking of emailing one of my NT friends whom I consider the closest, (she’s the one who made the Claritas logo, I actually once invited her to come on this site but clearly she’s decided not to) and see if we can talk more about Autism and get her to have a better understanding of me as an Autistic person.
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I recently came out to a close NT friend who I've known since I was a kid and it went pretty well. And was kind of a relief to be honest. She was genuinely interested in learning more, and even offered help. So it can happen, though I've been very careful in choosing the right person. For some it might not make a difference whether people know or not, but I have a different social situation than most here so for me it helped. Especially in raising awareness. If they genuinely care about you, then they will also care about something that affects you.
 
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