not feeling valid when navigating medical system

[Sab]

I’ve been thinking about this thread and validation when navigating medical services.

I’m starting to wonder if I dislike the whole process because I don’t know how to ‘be’

I’m ‘me’ because I’ve never seen how others do it ?
Nothing to copy or mimic ?

If I’m too assertive I feel like I’m pissing them off.
Telling them my diagnosis, how to do their job.

Too nice and polite and things start to get twee.
Waste of time.



Maybe a method, acronym (?) or script to follow?

You know,
on those days when you never see the same doctor in a busy practice twice,
and they’ve barely had time to read over your notes between patients.

Or eloquence evades you and you’re stumbling over wording or going off on a tangent.

Medical professionals aren’t mind readers, it’s up to us to relay the information right ?
But in a way that gets that validation we would like ?

Totally! I also feel that way when I’m navigating welfare. Basically, any « official » place where I need to be a certain way in order to receive basic support. I feel unable to act differently than what I am and don’t really understand who I need to be for these circumstances, so I end up half trying to sound convincing half being myself and struggling with expressing myself or my mind goes blank.

I’m always scared of sounding too assertive. In these types of situation (medical or welfare) it’s like to get what you want you need to believe in their authority. If you take your health and wellbeing in your own hands and know who you are and what you need from a service, you sound arrogant and there are chances they will be less cooperative. But then if you don’t ask for what you need from a service, they won’t ask you.

It’s like you have to feel confident about what you say and express it well in order to get validation and be believed, but that is really hard to do when you keep being invalidated. Oh but also you can’t sound TOO confident cause that is arrogance.