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Ok, so here is the big dilemma involving my mother and the rest of the family.

I can be who I want to be. I can live how I want to live. I want to be healthy, hard working, feeding my brain more healthy stuff instead of YouTube junk food, doing a lot more writing, hiking a lot more trails, taking a class here and there to keep myself sharp, going to more meetups and having the confidence to not let my weird vocal quirks get in the way, loving my damn self first because how can I take care of anybody else before I do that?
 
I really have not been living how I want to live for the most part. I still spend most of my awake off-work time in front of my television, alone. Only I can change that. I am barely living at this rate. As long as I have bread and circus, I am willing to put up with anything. Not anymore, I say now.
 
I dont have all that much to say right now, but my biggest question about all this has always been this:

Do you NEED to remain in contact with her, or with them?

Absolutely everything you've said about them is negative, and to me at least, just further enforces the idea that a complete, total disconnect... no contact anymore, with no exceptions... would be very beneficial.

Unless there is something you have no choice about... and I specifically mean something like financial dependence, not "they barge in" sort of dependence (because you absolutely can just lock doors and ignore them)... then the only thing actually keeping you in that poisonous connection is yourself.

I mean, even if you were to move, or do something like that, or do whatever, really... it aint gonna help if they are still there to hit you with their general awfulness.

The issue I see here, is that you've said the whole "I'm putting a stop to this now" thing before (or at least, that's what I'm remembering) more than once, but you end up just falling back into rhythm each time. The rhythm sounded out specifically by that negative connection. Why?

I dunno. That's what occurred to me.
 
Misery said:
I dont have all that much to say right now, but my biggest question about all this has always been this:

Do you NEED to remain in contact with her, or with them?

Absolutely everything you've said about them is negative, and to me at least, just further enforces the idea that a complete, total disconnect... no contact anymore, with no exceptions... would be very beneficial.

Unless there is something you have no choice about... and I specifically mean something like financial dependence, not "they barge in" sort of dependence (because you absolutely can just lock doors and ignore them)... then the only thing actually keeping you in that poisonous connection is yourself.

I mean, even if you were to move, or do something like that, or do whatever, really... it aint gonna help if they are still there to hit you with their general awfulness.

The issue I see here, is that you've said the whole "I'm putting a stop to this now" thing before (or at least, that's what I'm remembering) more than once, but you end up just falling back into rhythm each time. The rhythm sounded out specifically by that negative connection. Why?

I dunno. That's what occurred to me.
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I forgive my family, and now I will let them go. I have a better family in AA now. Drinking poison and hoping it would hurt my mother was no way to live. I will limit my contact with them and not make a scene about any of it. I can’t keep thinking about them anymore. I have my own life.
 
Your family sucks. Please accept that realization. My family frigging sucks. But l accept this. They try and l am MORE understanding. I actually brought to them the word autistic and therefore l opened the secret portal to their existence. So l am kinda of floating around. Lol. Both my brother and my mother are on the spectrum.

We can only educate. Nothing more.
 
It's no mumble jumble, it's facts. You have to stand your ground, introduce your family to facts. I don't envy you on your journey. Your journey has been especially hard. I can only try to support you.
 
Aspychata said:
It's no mumble jumble, it's facts. You have to stand your ground, introduce your family to facts. I don't envy you on your journey. Your journey has been especially hard. I can only try to support you.
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I know you are correct.

I also now know my family’s opinions about me and how I should live my life are invalid. It took me long enough to figure that part out.
 
But seriously, who cares about their opinions? I don't see TMZ calling them on their great ethics and morality.
Welcome to the club. It took me years to figure this out. 5 years to be exact.
 
Aspychata said:
But seriously, who cares about their opinions? I don't see TMZ calling them on their great ethics and morality.
Welcome to the club. It took me years to figure this out. 5 years to be exact.
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I should bring them on the Jerry Springer show, and then leave them there and forget about them while getting a paycheck every month for their continued participation.
 
Sometimes even one's own family can be even more toxic than friends and other unrelated persons in your social orbit. Something I've had to deal with for years as well.

Right now I'm pondering whether or not to give up any further contact with my own brother. For a long time I really wanted to think that he understands my autism to some degree, but recent interactions have shown to me that he doesn't have a clue or just doesn't care.

Very disappointing to me given I always thought it would be my cousin who I would eventually have to "ghost".
 
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