On the subject of meltdowns.

[jsilver256]

Verbal processing= emotional processing with words?

He didn't define it exactly, but the vibe I got was that it was emotional catharsis through verbal expression in some way. Chanting, cussing, criticizing.

 

[Outdated]

I write letters to people, often quite angry letters, but I never send them. The act of writing them is a form of catharsis for me.

 

[thejuice]

He didn't define it exactly, but the vibe I got was that it was emotional catharsis through verbal expression in some way. Chanting, cussing, criticizing.

Dragon breath (yoga), sighing, yawning, laughing, omm'ing

 

[Misty Avich]

I'd say my meltdowns are like what you see on EastEnders or the Jeremy Kyle Show; shouting, swearing and arguing. Not exactly your typical autism meltdown.

 

[thejuice]

I'd say my meltdowns are like what you see on EastEnders or the Jeremy Kyle Show; shouting, swearing and arguing. Not exactly your typical autism meltdown.

Did you pass the lie detector?

 

[blitzkrieg]

Psychiatric medication keeps the meltdowns at bay for me. I used to occasionally start shouting and screaming inappropriately before I went on meds to help contain autistic related irritability and aggression.

 

[jsilver256]

I've never stimmed during a meltdown. (Not correcting you or anything, just saying from my experience).

Not necessarily simultaneously, just that they are linked / related in that both are about emotional regulation. I do stim doing meltdowns, just in much more embarrassing ways.

That's what mine used to be like before I went on Sertraline. I've learnt from this site that it's wrong to have these sorts of meltdowns but I couldn't help it. It's just how I reacted to certain triggers such as depression and anger.

FYI, this is ADHD as well as autism. My intuition is that while meltdowns on autism come from a place where the emotional regulation is dysfunctional because of physical inability to process emotions, ADHD meltdowns are from a place of impulsivity. Same symptoms, different causes. (But don't take my word for it.)

Do you feel a meltdown coming before it happens?

I didn't lose my verbal processing during a meltdown. I argued at my loved ones, getting more and more frustrated if I didn't win the argument. Saying things like "sshh, I'm watching the TV" just made me all the more angry. As if I'm going to say "oh, sorry, I'll carry on ths meltdown in whispers". Lol.
It was like an adrenaline rush I had that gave me all this nervous energy to fly up in a rage, shouting, swearing, arguing, slamming doors and crying. Nobody got hurt though, as I wasn't violent.

Yeah, that kind of behavior is what my therapist meant by "verbal processing." He said a large part of his ASD therapy is in redirecting that behavior. He called it something of a blessing that this instinct is absent in me.

What triggered my meltdowns was reminders of how unhappy I was in my own skin. Depression was a huge factor. Anxiety not so much. With anxiety I'd just cry and crave reassurance and understanding. With depression I'd get angry and argumentative. I hate depression.

Sorry you deal with that. I think that is probably secondary to ASD (if that is what you have). The source of my meltdowns has been 80% sensory.

 

[Misty Avich]

Psychiatric medication keeps the meltdowns at bay for me. I used to occasionally start shouting and screaming inappropriately before I went on meds to help contain autistic related irritability and aggression.

Being on Sertraline has helped me containing my depression-related rage. I still have my moments but it's still more able to be controlled and I react in a more socially acceptable way, even though it doesn't take the emotion away.
I've been on Sertraline for exactly 10 years now and I'd rather not be on them but I'm scared to come off them in case I start losing control whenever I get too depressed again. Before I went on Sertraline I tried other things such as counselling and a few techniques but none of it changed me, the only thing that did help was the medication.
I know some might say age might take a part in managing my behaviour better but I wouldn't bank on that. Some people say older than me with ASD or ADHD have meltdowns or throw things across the room during meltdowns, stuff like that.

 

[Misty Avich]

Not necessarily simultaneously, just that they are linked / related in that both are about emotional regulation. I do stim doing meltdowns, just in much more embarrassing ways.

The normal autism meltdown usually involves stimming. I've never stimmed during a meltdown. My meltdowns have always been 100% verbal and 0% stimming.

FYI, this is ADHD as well as autism. My intuition is that while meltdowns on autism come from a place where the emotional regulation is dysfunctional because of physical inability to process emotions, ADHD meltdowns are from a place of impulsivity. Same symptoms, different causes. (But don't take my word for it.)

Yes, I don't think my triggers of my meltdowns were sensory-related, it was more from poor emotional regulation about things I was unhappy about, such as the way I was and the way my life was going.

Do you feel a meltdown coming before it happens?

Yes, I could feel my heart beating faster and anger bubbling up and then I'd lose control. It was like somebody plugged me into a high voltage thing that gave me more energy than I was humanly capable of handling and I just had to fly up and lash out verbally.
My meltdowns only lasted no longer than half an hour or something but the aftermath could last a few hours (aftermath meaning my family getting over having a load of verbal abuse thrown at them). I was very apologetic and luckily for me they were forgiving because they knew me so well and knew naturally I wasn't an angry, nasty person like that, it was just the ASD. That is why I resent having it so much, as while a lot of people say ASD is who they are, it actually makes me who I'm not.

Yeah, that kind of behavior is what my therapist meant by "verbal processing." He said a large part of his ASD therapy is in redirecting that behavior. He called it something of a blessing that this instinct is absent in me.

What actually is verbal processing?

Sorry you deal with that. I think that is probably secondary to ASD (if that is what you have). The source of my meltdowns has been 80% sensory.

Sensory has never caused meltdowns for me.

 

[blitzkrieg]

Being on Sertraline has helped me containing my depression-related rage. I still have my moments but it's still more able to be controlled and I react in a more socially acceptable way, even though it doesn't take the emotion away.
I've been on Sertraline for exactly 10 years now and I'd rather not be on them but I'm scared to come off them in case I start losing control whenever I get too depressed again. Before I went on Sertraline I tried other things such as counselling and a few techniques but none of it changed me, the only thing that did help was the medication.
I know some might say age might take a part in managing my behaviour better but I wouldn't bank on that. Some people say older than me with ASD or ADHD have meltdowns or throw things across the room during meltdowns, stuff like that.

Technically, I take medications specifically for depression and Tourette's Syndrome, but one of the meds can help with irritability in autism too and I seem to gain that benefit as I was generally irritable before starting that med', even whilst solely on an antidepressant.

 

[vergil96]

For me a meltdown is quite atomic panic attack. I'm not aggressive, it just feels awful and sucks me into the void. I don't ever lose control of what I'm doing or it happens extremely rarely. It's a panic attack that doesn't quite feel like what others describe as one. No amount of breathing helps. Trying to "calm down" only makes it worse, it needs an outlet, not comforting and nipping it in the bud. Often, it makes me vomit. I suspect it's a reaction shaped by the environment, because I get to escape to the bathroom. If I'm alone and nobody is watching... I do stuff: beat up pillows, squeeze things, break pencils into pieces, tear up tissues, cry, shout, rock, move in some way on repeat, because I don't have the capacity to come up with anything new or constructive, so I mostly come up with automatic things. The movement seems to be what gets it out. I'm happy I haven't had one in quite a while and the panic attacks I had recently were easier on me. My emotional reactions changed a lot for the positive when I'm not overstimulated in the long term, I'm less nervous and whatever mental health thing happens isn't as awful as it used to be. I wish lots of meltdowns on whoever supports "increasing tolerance" for overstimulation. It literally tortures people. In the name of what, excuse me? Neurotypical people can also have meltdowns and overstimulation, but they have broader tolerance.

The source of my meltdowns has been 80% sensory.

Nowadays for me too. When I was younger and less mature, I was very stressed about many things that weren't my fault or responsibility. I had many stressful things going on as well, my life has improved a lot over the years and I wouldn't want to go back and be younger. My health was worse too and I suffered from nutrient deficiencies and chronic pain.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

When I get a meltdown, I go sort of inverse. During normal, everyday, low-key anxiety and sensory stimulation (being outside in the city, meeting people, etc) I fidget a lot. It gets more intense and more repetitive when the stress builds up, nearing a meltdown. But when a certain level is passed and during an actual meltdown, I go completely rigid. I don't stim, I don't rock, I just freeze up while crying (often) and can't speak anymore. I curl up on myself, close my eyes and cover my ears. It helps if I can press something, a cushion or a large plush animal. Thankfully, that stage usually only lasts a few minutes, and I often feel better (although drained) afterwards.
Sometimes, especially when I'm in a social situation I can't escape from, I start verbally lashing out at people.

It's rarely so bad that I really don't have any control anymore, although it does happen. In those cases, I try to find somewhere to be alone as quickly as possible so people don't see me break down crying.

 

[Aspychata]

Meltdowns for me are crying. Or l jump in my shower, sit down, let the water cascade over me, and cry, and try to slow down. I have started rocking back and forth, so my meltdown will include the rocking stim.

 

[Neia]

Being on Sertraline has helped me containing my depression-related rage. I still have my moments but it's still more able to be controlled and I react in a more socially acceptable way, even though it doesn't take the emotion away.
I've been on Sertraline for exactly 10 years now and I'd rather not be on them but I'm scared to come off them in case I start losing control whenever I get too depressed again. Before I went on Sertraline I tried other things such as counselling and a few techniques but none of it changed me, the only thing that did help was the medication.
I know some might say age might take a part in managing my behaviour better but I wouldn't bank on that. Some people say older than me with ASD or ADHD have meltdowns or throw things across the room during meltdowns, stuff like that.

I've had my worst meltdowns after my 45th birthday...

I got really down with depression. Couldn't eat, couldn't drink, all I wanted to do was walk.

Fortunately my dog loved long walks.

Anyway.

That's when I had my very first, full blown, screaming, raging, crying meltdown since I was a young kid.
One of the persons who witnessed it has known me for decades and was like "I didn't recognise you. You're not like that. Something is wrong with you!"

And all I could think was "No, you don't know me at all!"