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Over- like vs Love☺

Can we just filter through love for what we currently need to exist? Sometimes you don't want to go down the dark alley, e.g. tunnel of love because what you have suits you just fine. So nobody can really step in and say you are doing it right, wrong etc. Do you think it's possible to be in love with lust? Who can say that is wrong if that makes you happy. To be in love can mean you never lusted for the person. The more you lust for the person, can switch into love because of the great satisfaction of completeness you experience. Just a different concept. Feeling lust and passion sometimes finishes with a ongoing love story or extreme like?

Are some of us suited to lust and not love but just extreme like?
 
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I think some people refer to love (Love/Wisdom) as something from Gd, or as a "type" of person. In my older age experience, people think of love as a type of Gd/J follower, not just what you feel for an individual. I'm not religious though so if I say I love my friends, I'm not saying I have some lightning bolt /download something or other from Gd, it's just an emotion/feeling to me.

I agree that movies, tv shows, literature, have always been pushing the love/lust/sex concept, probably to encourage people to spawn. I don't think of love in those terms though. And I think like and love are kind of the same thing, if you like someone you probably love them, if you love someone and don't like them personally, well you probably don't love them after all.
 
For me, love is an extreme affection and tolerance for an individual. Such that, if we ever broke up, I would miss their friendship more than the physical part because friendship has always been very important to me. Other couplings I have been involved in always ended badly because I responded to lust and didn't take the time to figure out if I even liked that person as a friend. Love may mean different things to different people, too. Some people think they need hearts and flowers and romance, others need someone who is trustworthy, steady, and loyal. But most of all, when we learn to accept ourselves, is when we find the love we want.
 
The best way i can phrase love is in a story that is true. There was a man many years ago. That was close to death. The world had broken his spirit. He had no desire to live on.
For three days he battled against the darkness within him. Depression, hopelessness, despair. On the third he had forced a stalemate. But had nothing left inside. His dreams and hopes were destroyed. He had only his faith to hold on to. It kept his head above the water. But he had no reason to swim to shore. Then a beautiful woman appeared before him. Smiling she took his hand and they danced together. Her laughter and cheer brought hipe to the mans heart. And he fell in love with the woman. She left that night and said one day they would meet again and be together. He doesn't know her name or anything else about her.
But he remembers her face and the words she spoke to him. He moved forward with his life. Believeing in her words. Using them as a pillar to continue living. No matter what happened. And inspite of what everyone said to him. He still waits for her.
That's love.
 
Wolf Prince said:
The best way i can phrase love is in a story that is true. There was a man many years ago. That was close to death. The world had broken his spirit. He had no desire to live on.
For three days he battled against the darkness within him. Depression, hopelessness, despair. On the third he had forced a stalemate. But had nothing left inside. His dreams and hopes were destroyed. He had only his faith to hold on to. It kept his head above the water. But he had no reason to swim to shore. Then a beautiful woman appeared before him. Smiling she took his hand and they danced together. Her laughter and cheer brought hipe to the mans heart. And he fell in love with the woman. She left that night and said one day they would meet again and be together. He doesn't know her name or anything else about her.
But he remembers her face and the words she spoke to him. He moved forward with his life. Believeing in her words. Using them as a pillar to continue living. No matter what happened. And inspite of what everyone said to him. He still waits for her.
That's love.
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Very romantic. Thanks for this post.
 
I guess I'll be the one to say it. In the words of the late George Carlin "Pancakes. Griddle cakes. Hotcakes. Flapjacks. Why are there four names for grilled batter and one word for love?"

The ancient Greeks subdivided what we call love into several different categories with specific words for each; unfortunately, I don't know what they are, so we'll have to make do with English. What I feel for my parents was not the same as what I feel for my sisters, which is different from what I feel for my various dogs, or my friends, or a particular sandwich called "the Balboa" at my unfortunately-no-longer-local sandwich shop. All those feelings are real, and all often subsumed into a single word in English, which has more words than any other language humanity has yet devised. How the heck did THAT happen?

I don't think that's what you're asking about, though; you're asking about romantic partnerships (I think). One can certainly have those feelings of affection and loyalty towards a person in that type of relationship; I imagine it helps if you do. Much of the rhetoric around "love" in the romantic sense holds that once the infatuation and lust passes, you move on to something deeper, something somehow nobler, something that sounds, to my perspective at least, exactly like the loyalty and affection I mentioned before- nothing that you couldn't, in theory, already have had.

Am I mistaken? I don't know. I hope so, that there's more to it than I suspect. I've had too many betrayals on too deep a level to extend that level of trust (sometimes that Aspergian long-term memory is truly a curse), so finding out falls to other people. I feel, however, that the real con isn't Hollywood saying that it's all lust and infatuation, but the self-appointed wise-men (and -women) saying that lust and infatuation are somehow bad. Is it good to have more? Sure. But count the cost. I believe a lot more suffering is caused by people wanting "something more" in a romance's emotional terms than in its sexual ones.

I also believe I want one of those Baboas now. Stupid lockdown.
 
Rabscuttle said:
I guess I'll be the one to say it. In the words of the late George Carlin "Pancakes. Griddle cakes. Hotcakes. Flapjacks. Why are there four names for grilled batter and one word for love?"

The ancient Greeks subdivided what we call love into several different categories with specific words for each; unfortunately, I don't know what they are, so we'll have to make do with English. What I feel for my parents was not the same as what I feel for my sisters, which is different from what I feel for my various dogs, or my friends, or a particular sandwich called "the Balboa" at my unfortunately-no-longer-local sandwich shop. All those feelings are real, and all often subsumed into a single word in English, which has more words than any other language humanity has yet devised. How the heck did THAT happen?

I don't think that's what you're asking about, though; you're asking about romantic partnerships (I think). One can certainly have those feelings of affection and loyalty towards a person in that type of relationship; I imagine it helps if you do. Much of the rhetoric around "love" in the romantic sense holds that once the infatuation and lust passes, you move on to something deeper, something somehow nobler, something that sounds, to my perspective at least, exactly like the loyalty and affection I mentioned before- nothing that you couldn't, in theory, already have had.

Am I mistaken? I don't know. I hope so, that there's more to it than I suspect. I've had too many betrayals on too deep a level to extend that level of trust (sometimes that Aspergian long-term memory is truly a curse), so finding out falls to other people. I feel, however, that the real con isn't Hollywood saying that it's all lust and infatuation, but the self-appointed wise-men (and -women) saying that lust and infatuation are somehow bad. Is it good to have more? Sure. But count the cost. I believe a lot more suffering is caused by people wanting "something more" in a romance's emotional terms than in its sexual ones.

I also believe I want one of those Baboas now. Stupid lockdown.
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Sometimes the lust/passion can sweep you off your feet too. It's not that you want romance, it's just that you maybe surprised what lays under the hood even though it truly isn't available.

Just remember the most perfect baguette with melted cheese and caramelized onions and lusting for this again.
 
It doesn't make any sense to say "love" doesn't exist. When someone says that, they're saying that the definition of "love" they currently hold in their mind does not exist, which means they've invented it in a way that doesn't exist. They could simply conceive it in a manner in which it does exist. It's an abstract concept.

"I understand what love is, and my understanding of it is that it does not exist," is the translation for the fool who states love does not exist.
 
I find love and religion close to each other, since both need a certain level of belief. It really depends on you and how you see the world. It's your decision if you want to believe that there's love or just an instinct and lust.

If someone believes that what they feel is extreme like - it's a true emotion, or at least a true for them and from their point of view. If someone believes that what they feel is love - it's also a true emotion, since it is true for them and from their point of view.

It all depends on the way you see the world and it's fascinating how different the view can be through another's eyes.
 
The typical NT male will lovebomb for sex or for houseslave. But l think men on the spectrum are a lot more honest.
 
Rabscuttle said:
The ancient Greeks subdivided what we call love into several different categories with specific words for each; unfortunately, I don't know what they are, so we'll have to make do with English.
Click to expand...


Two things
Firstly Welcome - I don't think I have welcomed you before.

Secondly
Storge familial love
Philia love of one's brother
Eros sexual love
Agape love as of God to humanity

There are a lot of resources on this topic if you want to pursue it further. Also try the book 4 Loves by CS Lewis.
 
It's a pleasant brain chemical that's very more-ish. It's trouble when you can't turn it off and see people clearly : (
 
I have always been blessed and raised up by women. Most of my dates were older than me. I know that good sex does not need love and love does not need good sex.

I had tasted Love and been Loved. I had taken the "Leap of Faith" for Love, but I was young(er) and did not know about the Spectrum, so I got hurt, but I learnt that bones get harder as they break, muscles get stronger as they are ripped, brain develops as it tears the neurons and heart gets bigger as it bleeds.

Now, when I look back, I can't think of Love without Transcendence and when I look forward, I can't think of loving someone else without loving myself.
 
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